(Closed) Personally written Vows

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
gemabride:  We wrote our own vows and it’s an experience I would recommend to everyone! I’m not going to share them on here (because they’re very personal), but this is kinda how our format worked.

First, we wrote our vows to be similar to the traditional ones in that we promised to do this or that for each other and our relatinoship. Not so much a letter about how much you love your Fiance and how you knew he was the one. Vows are promises, and we felt they should be formatted as promises to each other, not a speech about why we’re so great. Phrases like “I vow to provide for you…I promise to listen…to respect you…..etc.”  They included some of the traditional sentiments like sticking together during hardships, but they were very personalized to what we felt was important to keep our relationship together.

When we started writing our vows, the first thing we did was have a nice conversation about what we actually felt was essential to our relationship. One of the things my DH said was a respect for the other person’s opinions and truly listenings during conversations. One of my points was that I felt it was important for us to actively be striving toward furthering ourselves individually, whether through education or motivation in our careers, in order to contribute our best possible self to the relationship. This was the part of the vow-writing process that we enjoyed the most because we really talked about our relationship on a level that is really easy to forget about during the wedding planning process.

We started the actual writing about a week out from the wedding. I’d wanted to do it sooner, but that was the first time we had a spare minute. Most of the details for the wedding were taken care of and we were able to get into that romantic mood.

Depending on how your vows will be read during the ceremony, it is totally fine for your Maid/Matron of Honor to hold your vows. But we gave a copy to our pastor and repeated after him. It was about 13ish sentences long.

I was worried about the bursting into tears part too, so I read the vows out loud to myself MANY times during that last week. I burst into tears walking down the aisle instead LOL. Neither of us cried during our vows, and I’m very glad we decided to write our own. It was one of the things that guests commented on the most!

Post # 3
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
MKWeddingBee:  This is a wonderful way to write them! It shows how much more that a wedding is about marriage, and not just a wedding! I love the fact that you talked about what was important in your relationship. I’m going to save this for the future. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
625 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
gemabride:  We did our own too and it was hands down, the best part of the ceremony. My Maid/Matron of Honor held my piece of paper with the vows written and DH pretty much winged his, but they were beautiful. We did not discuss them at all before hand so they ended up being very different styles from each other, which was great, because we are very different people. It was funny and sweet all around. I actually stated 2 vows specifically that I wanted to promise to him, but his was more of a story of how long he had waited to meet me etc. and he gave me this journal that he had been keeping for years which was a bunch of letters to his future wife. I cried and then he gave me a hankerchief he had ready too haha. It was wonderful because it was sincere and sweet even with no stated vows on his end. 

Have fun with it and don’t put any expectations on it. Just live in the moment when the vows are said and make sure to get it on film! It is so hard to remember later what the words were.

Also, I wrote mine the night before, which was stressful, you may want to write yours earlier than that. ;p

Post # 7
Member
625 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
gemabride:  Yea, he’s a keeper! We also used my brother with a gopro camera to record the vows. It’s a good brother-task.

Post # 8
Member
9443 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We are writing our own and I love them. Fiance and I started with googling vows for some inspiration, took bits and pieces we really loved and then made it our own. I don’t mind sharing at all so this is what we came up with:

I ________ take you ____________ to be my wife/husband. I promise to choose you every day, to love you in word and deed, to do the hard work of making now into always. To remember that neither one of us is perfect but to strive to remind myself of the ways we are perfect for each other. I will laugh with you in times of joy, and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals. I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement. Together, we will build a home filled with learning, laughter and light. I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and with you I will try to better understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and worst of what is to come. And with this ring, I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband, my constant friend, my partner-in-crime, and my love from this day forward.

Post # 10
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We haven’t started our vows yet (getting married in December) but I actually struggled to convince my Fiance that we should write our own. Finally, he admitted that he was worried my vows would be amazing and that his just wouldn’t compare – I am a professional content writer and do a lot of fictional writing in my free time, whereas writing is something he has always struggled with. When I realised why he was being so resistant, I came up with the solution of writing our vows together, so we will say pretty much the same thing – they won’t be a surprise to each other, but they will be to everyone else. He was much happier with this solution.

Post # 11
Member
9443 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
JessieFay13:  That’s what my Fiance and I did! It was so much fun writing them together.

Post # 12
Member
1630 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We wrote ours ourselves and I 100% percent recommend it. I wrote mine about a month or so in advance and he wrote his about a 1 1/2 weeks in advance (made me nervous!). You don’t stop yourself from choking up. You take your time and say them from the heart. I had to stop for a second to pull myself together enough to be understood and that’s ok. As far as length I would discuss with your Fiance how long he thinks. When you’re up front if yours are 1 min and his are 3, it can feel like a big difference. We went by length in how much of a word document did it take up and made ours similar lengths that way. Our officiant held on to our vows and we just read them from there. It’s a moment between your Fiance and you, so ultimately that’s all that matters. 

The topic ‘Personally written Vows’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors