(Closed) “Pfft. Those never work out.”

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I never had any concerns with J when we were in an LDR for over a year. We actually knew we could trust one another and not have a thing to worry about. Of course others were negative nellies, but it didn’t matter. All we did was prove them wrong.

I understand how frustrating it can be, but just ignore them. You two will be just fine.

How long will you two be in a LDR?

Post # 4
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It’s tough but a strong relationship can survive it!  My husband and I are possibly going to be long distance for 6 months or more coming up.  Just make time to talk but also try to keep yourself busy so you don’t sit around and wallow.

Post # 5
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Totally agreed with DesireeAnne: haters gonna hate, and you just have to stay positive! FH and I have been long distance our entire relationship (just over 2 years) and he’s driving here now to move in with me–eep! Time to get off the computer and clean!

Post # 6
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Long distance doesnt work for some people so they assume it doesnt work for anyone. Just ignore the negative comments, and take inspiration from all the bees and other people that have survived LDR

Post # 7
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I was in a LDR with my Fiance (he was still my bf at that time) for 18 months before I moved to be with him. We lived 5000km and various time-differences apart and could only see each other every 4 or 5 months. I think most people make negative comments because they don’t understand LDR or they could never imagine themselves in one (it is a lot of hard-work).

Trust me, the LDR work, and sometimes I think the work better then “normal” relationships.  I got to know my Fiance so much better because of all of our long-distance calls and e-mails. And when we did get to see each other, we made sure it was quality and meaningful time together.

Don’t let these people get you down.  When things work out for you two, they will probably be the first ones to tell you “I always knew you two would work out!!!!”

Best of Luck!!!

Post # 8
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ignore it. Just because it doesn’t work for them doesn’t mean they should say anything, when a relationship is strong it will make it through anything. My Fiance and I were long distance for a year while he finished school… we were fine. My sister and her husband were long distance the whole 3 years they were dating and the first year of their marriage (waiting for his visa to come through) and they have been happily married for almost ten years.

Post # 9
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Well the next time someone says that just say in a really loud voice “YEAH I KNOW RIGHT WHAT A WASTE OF MY TIME TEEHEE!”

 

Post # 10
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Pssshhhh!  What haters! 

LDR works if you MAKE it work.  Sometimes you can’t do anything but deal with what life throw you.  YOU know how strong your relationship is… those people are just bitter!  >:P

Post # 12
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Oh wow, I feel your pain and frustration. I started in a LDR with my SO about 1 1/2 years ago. We met online (another great topic people like to comment on) ugh.. I have had some very positive reactions from strangers. The problem person I have is my dad… yeah.. I still live at home with him for now hehe (personal reasons basically) My SO and I are moving in together next March πŸ™‚

Anywhooo back to subject hehe I get the “your stupid for trusting him” and “those never last” “your nieve to think hes not cheating on you” blah blah blah I say, I know my guy! He is 110% devoted to me, he has to be for putting up with me for this long lol no seriously, he works so hard and spends any free time on the phone with me, he honestly has no time to cheat. Plus I have FULL faith in him that he would never hurt me πŸ™‚

The advice I would give is to trust in yourself and trust in him and your relationship together. Not every LDR does last.. but it is up to you to make it last and if your determined to work it out then you will!

I have something for you to think about the next time someone says something rude to you. A LDR is more emotional, time consuming, draining and just overall a tougher relationship than a “same city” relationship, well thats how I feel. I tell everyone that, a LDR is not for everyone because the utter pain of only getting to see your lover for a moment and then leaving is torture! I can’t tell you in words how painful it is for me to leave my SO and yet I do it every month. I cry all the way back on the plane. I think people who are in LDR are brave people because we have to deal with things most people never will.

I wish you the best of luck!

Post # 13
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

Avoid discussing details of your personal life with co-workers, customers and others with whom you do not share a close relationship. It will keep the gossip at bay and in turn reduce unwanted stressors. Ignore the naysayers. You are aware of the dynamics of your relationship with your SO. You know how to make it work. Concentrate on that and forget the rest! 

Post # 14
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ignore people and their comments!  If its meant to last it will!  My roommate has been in a LDR for the last 2 years and they’re fine.  And my Fiance and I have had to deal with long distance parts of our relationship andd it was fine. I actually feel like it made us a lot stronger.  Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Customers and coworkers really shouldn’t know too much about your personal life. The customers mostly really only want to talk about themselves anyway (TMIAB: Trust Me, I’m A Bartender); only the really creepy ones actually want to know about you, and it’s part of the skills of a good service worker to redirect their questions about your personal life without them knowing it. Verbal judo. As for coworkers, if you’re not close and they make inappropriately personal comments at work, point that out to them. “This is really personal and I’m not comfortable discussing it in a work environment.” And finally: your FRIENDS say shit like that to you? Get new friends!

Post # 16
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

@Sigyn: A LDR is more emotional, time consuming, draining and just overall a tougher relationship than a “same city” relationshipI agree 200%

This is my second LDR. First was my ex husband (military) and now with my bf. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible. The best advice I ever got didn’t even apply to a LDR, but it works. 

“You know yourself. You know your partner. Don’t give into the seed of doubt, or you’ll find a tree blocking your view.”

@Beluga I agree. If your friends aren’t supportive, get new ones. My closest friends and I may not always agree about our choices, but we support eachother regardless, because it’s part of the job description.

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