(Closed) Photo Thank You – With No Personal Message!! (vent)

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee

@raspberrylemonade: Being gracious and grateful never goes out of style. Sending a personal thank you is the least you can do after someone gives you a gift.

Post # 48
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@simpleandchic: Wow, I haven’t read all the replies to this thread but came across yours and my jaw hit the floor….your wedding was almost a year ago and you haven’t sent thank you’s??? 

I’d highly offended if I had been in or at your wedding. Please send those nice ppl a thank you, although, I’m sure feelings have already been hurt.

 

OP, I don’t think it’s a huge deal there wasn’t a personalized note in the thank you. From some of the PP I’d say be glad you’ve gotten one at all. 

Post # 49
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@Bostongrl25: Agreed

Post # 50
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

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@simpleandchic:  The money you spent on entertaining your guests at a reception is a thank you for their attendance at your wedding ceremony!  It does not by any means thank them for their gift.  Not to mention it was your choice to spend as much as you did. 

I think we all know that there is no way you have been so busy for an ENTIRE year that you just couldn’t possibly find time to thank you guests who spent their time and money to get you a gift.

Post # 51
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It annoys me..especially when it comes from a close friend or family member…but whatever! My DH & I just spent every night this past week writing up all our Thank You’s, and we feel good about it =)

Post # 52
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@abbyful: Just because ettiquette seems to be falling by the wayside still doesn’t excuse poor ettiquette! Just because something is less-bad doesn’t mean it’s good or acceptable.

It’s too difficult to take 5 minutes to think of something to say?! The person that gave you the gift took time to go to the store, pick something out (even if it was just choosing off your registery, they still have to look at the list and choose), and spend money on you.

Thank-Yous without personal handwritten messages are lazy and rude, IMO. To me, they scream “well, we couldn’t be bother to take 5 minutes to properly thank you, you’re not worth our time.”

^^^I agree with this.  I wouldn’t call people out for being rude if they did send me an mass thank you message or whatever, but I would be a little sad that they couldn’t be bothered to make it a little more personal.  If I can take the time to go shopping for you and buy you a gift, the least the recipient could do is handwrite 2 personal sentences.

Post # 53
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I just got a thank you note from my Future Sister-In-Law whom I got 3 gifts at 3 showers for & only 1 thank you note to cover all 3…. and the Thank you said…

Thanks for the gifts. We like them. See you at the wedding?!     I would have rather had a generic but sweet message than that crap written in blank card!

Post # 54
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@Bostongrl25: *LOVE* because I’m sure these people that she invited are so LOW class that without her they would have NEVER been able to enjoy food, wine & some entertainment! Maybe they should send her a Thank you for allowing them to come to her High Class wedding!

 

@simpleandchic  Someone needs to get over themselves a little! I’m sure people enjoyed your wedding as well as people enjoyed mine _ there was NO 3 course meal or anything that “high class” we had beer & a s’mores buffett! But people raved about it and guess what… I STILL sent thank yous! They were a post card with a lovely poem on the back and then we signed thank you again and our names! (

 

Our Thank You’s werent as personal because most people that brought a gift… took their cards off the gift and put them into the card box so we had like 20 gifts and no one knew who they were from! ( Ireally think my little 6th grade girls that helped bring in gifts did it and didnt know any better )

Post # 55
Member
2231 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@MrsNeutrino: I have to agree with this. While I like receiving thank you cards & I will be sending them myself, NO ONE on my side of the family does this. It’s not part of our upbringing and culture. However, I get that other people expect them so I’ll do it. 

Post # 56
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would lose sleep if I did not send thank-you cards. Of course, I was raised by a gentile southern lady who also taught me that babies should never leave the house without socks on their feet.

I send thank you’s for everything. and my kids send them as well. I once got a dressing down from my aunt because ONE of my kids didn’t send a thank you for her Christmas gift. I found it in her desk drawer. I had her write an apology and explain that when she picked up the stack to mail, the one for my aunt just didn’t make it into the pile and that she was embarrassed about  the oversight.

I don’t care how nice your wedding is-send a personalized thank you. It’s not hard, and it is always appreciated. 

Post # 57
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

A card is better then no card.

Post # 58
Member
2432 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

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@abbyful: I completely agree! I am much more likely to send a really nice newborn baby gift or housewarming gift for a couple who took the time and effort to send a heartfelt thank you for attending their wedding and bringing a gift. 

Most of the weddings we are attending next year are out of state. This means that we have to take off work the Friday before, pay for either gas or a plane ticket to attend, and pay for food and accommodations the entire weekend. While we’re honored to be invited, it is very rude to not receive a handwritten thank you from the couple to thank us for the time and expense to be there. 

In my opinion, nothing replaces a handwritten thank you note. People on these boards who claim to not have time, perhaps you should replace the time you spend on weddingbee to write out your notes? 

Post # 59
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@aspasia475: Thank you for your reply!

Not every bride walking down the aisle this year entertains on a regular basis, or has been brought up with the chance to observe dinner parties and afternoon teas; but I don’t believe any of us desire to intentionally offend those around us.  Knowing why etiquette exists, what it is based on, and where it comes from can help us remember not only to be gracious and kind, but also how to do that.

Post # 60
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I get why people care about thank yous.  I personally don’t really think twice about it but I aggree they are an appropriate gesture.  However, I honestly just throw them out immediately and know that you’ll probably like the item I bought off your registry b/c you picked it out.

I honestly had NO CLUE that not hand writing envelopes was considered poor ettiquette.  Not to be rude but this is almost laughable to me.  It is literally something that you rip open and throw away.  I used a typed font b/c my handwriting gets sketchy at best after a few lines and I thought it would look much nicer this way.  I’m surprised this one makes the “rule book” since it seems outdated at best (to me) and typing / computers weren’t a big thing back in the day.

Post # 61
Member
2432 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

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@MyFavouriteChords: Honestly, if your thank-yous are specific and heartfelt, I don’t think the receivers will be very critical of the envelopes. It seems to be more of an issue on the actual invitations. I’ve received several thank-yous with typed envelopes, and I could care less.. if they’re sending a properly written thank-you, that is what matters!

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