Post # 1
Okay, so I have a possible issue with my photographer…
I have known this photographer for some time, but not real well. I knew her initially because I used to do make up and hair (mostly) modeling and she was a fashion photographer. She was great at what she did!
But now she is doing what her passion is and what she is REALLY good at which is boudoir photography. I actually even decided to meet with her because she wanted some pictures for her website and advertising and I figured I could get something for Fiance for Valentine’s Day.
When we were talking I asked about E-pics since Fiance and I do need some, but I didn’t want to go with other photographers because I didn’t need the whole package since we’re having a Destination Wedding and one in Scotland at that, so its a little far.
She said she would be happy to for just a couple hundred and that she was interested in doing the Destination Wedding too. Great!! It would be awesome if we could have a photographer we know that we’ll work well with and really get to know before hand! We agreed that I would pay for the photography plus an extra $1500 or so for travel and accomidations.
Thankfully, no contract.
She texts me today saying that she’s been talking this over with her husband because she is terrified to fly. Basically she says that she would feel more comfortable if her husband and daughter came along. I would be fine with them coming even to the wedding and paying for food for them (its a long distance to travel!), but I’m not paying for them to fly too.
But she seemed to be expecting that their flights would be included in their package! Are you kidding me? I’m not paying an extra $2-$3K! She kind of just said “so hubby and I have thought that if my family could be with me that I would feel better”. Again, I understand, but unless you’re asking for extra money to travel (which she eventually did), then why are you telling me? They can fly with you and not come to the wedding (although I would offer that) and it won’t make any difference to me…
I basically didn’t even respond to that request and I said, “oh! I understand being afraid to fly.. it makes me uncomfortable too. We have time though, I’m sure we can find someone in Scotland to be our photographer! We’d still love for you to do our E-pics though!” So I figure I’ll tell our planner just to get someone in Scotland for us.
Am I being unreasonable or is it normal to expect that you’re paying for just the photographer(s) travel and if they want to bring others that aren’t part of the business then that is on them?
Post # 3
I would tell her you cannot accommodate her request and leave it at that. You are being gracious to let them attend your wedding and pay for their food, but it is her choice to have them accompany her and she should be fitting the bill for that. Unfortunately, you should probably just give her the option of paying their accommodations/airfare or allowing her to bow out and finding a new photographer.
Post # 4
@YogaFaerie: That is absolutely ridiculous that your photographer would even run that past you. I don’t think it’s appropriate behavior and why one earth would she have agreed to be your wedding photographer knowing your wedding is a Destination Wedding and that she would have to fly. I am glad you didn’t dignify that with an answer. Honestly paying for her to get there is one thing but family is going past that line of being appropriate. Bad business practice. I would find another photographer stat!
Post # 5
No!! you are absolutely not responsbile for paying for her hubby and daughter to fly Sounds like she just wants to get a free family vacation out of the deal. I would tell her you are only paying for her travel since you have hired her and not the family but they are welcome to attend the wedding.
Post # 6
Thats ridiculous that she even suggested that!! Why would you want to pay like 4k for a photographer? She is nuts! I would just get a photographer in Scotland and save the hassle and the money!
Post # 7
You are not being unreasonable.
And more importantly, I’m getting marriedd in Scotland too!!!!!!!!! 10 days after you 🙂
We are using this guy
http://www.neilthomasdouglas.com/ for photography
Haven’t worked with him yet but he’s been super great about emailing and helping with recommendations for hair people and whatnot
Post # 8
Wait, did she actually suggest that you pay? Or do you think she’s just looking to see if you are ok with them coming? You 100% absolutely should not pay and yeah that’s a completely unreasonable request. But if you aren’t sure if she’s just asking permission, you should just respond and say you don’t have an issue with them being guests but you can’t pay for that.
Post # 9
@YogaFaerie: That sounds… not professional at all! May I ask what you are paying her for her photography? & has she done weddings before?
Just because she is great at modeling & boudior photography does NOT mean she will be a good wedding photographer. Weddings are a whole different animal! A client I just met is doing a vow renewal to get good photos a few months after their wedding. Why? Because their friend photographer who “takes great pictures” is avoiding them since around October because none of the photos turned out & they didn’t have a contract. They got married in a beautiful place & not a photo to show for it.
Do NOT go with any photographer who does not give you a contract. It is there to protect you both!
ETA: Re-read your post & maybe she was just asking if you’re okay with them coming to the wedding? She may not have been asking for you to pay for them… it could be a misunderstanding. However I’m not sure why she’d even bring it up. If I was doing a Destination Wedding & doing a family vacation, I’d have my family stay in the hotel (or explore around away from the wedding venue).
Post # 10
@MsJ2theZ: Yeah she suggested that “maybe” I could pay for them! Not too happy. Initially I also thought that she just wanted them to come which was no issue, but she did suggest paying for them. Yikes! We were going to have a contract, just thankfully didn’t sign it yet. Haha.. so its all good!!
@canthugallcats: She actually has done weddings before and is good at doing them, that’s just not what she chose to base her business around. We were planning on paying her about $3000 for being there plus the extra travel and accomidation fees, so coming close to $5000 (which would include some prints and a CD, but not an album or anything. But if her family came we’d be more around $8000!
@Glasgowbound: Yayyyy Scotland!! Haha thanks for the link!! That photographer is REALLY great. I’ll have to bring him up to my planner! I just let her know that we will not being having our photographer from PA coming along.
Thanks everyone for the responses! I’m glad I wasn’t the only one that found this a little bit irritating! In fairness to the photographer (I guess) she doesn’t know much about DWs… but still…
Post # 11
@YogaFaerie: Oh well then yeah no. HOW RUDE!!! Sounds like a way to get a cool vacation for free to me!
Post # 12
@MsJ2theZ: Haha, that was my thought too…
Post # 13
Actually, if you had a contract she wouldn’t be able to pull this on you.
I’d cut ties and move on to another photog.
Post # 14
I am a wedding photographer and she is being completely unreasonable. I think she’s taking advantage. If she knows she is scared of flying she should not have taken a Destination Wedding OR she should have realised that one of her costs will be flying her husband along.
Post # 15
@YogaFaerie: Honestly, for $5k you could get a true professional. Like, magazine quality work (or close to it). Idk your photographer’s quality, she could be great at it. However for that price, I’d go with someone who does weddings for a living. Anyone who agrees to do a wedding & does not have a contract is NOT a professional & is not someone you want to hire. Especially for a Destination Wedding wedding! You want someone who knows about flying, such as protecting their equipment from the airplane xrays (they can wipe out the camera memory cards if not protected). If you want to PM me her website I’d love to review it (just don’t publicly post it or it may lead her to this thread).
Post # 16
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@YogaFaerie: The photographer is being unreasonable. You should only be expected to pay for your vendor not her family that decides to tag along. It’s unprofessional to expect you to foot the bill for her family members to fly with her.