Post # 1
iiiiiii have a dilemma.
my fiance and i are having a wedding ‘dinner’ instead of a ceremony+reception. we’ve always been low-key people, and plus, we’re broke. we’ve been cutting corners of all sorts – no dancing, no dj, no open bar (lots of wine though), no wedding cake – and i was okay with all that. until Boy chopped off the photographer as well.
now, i understand that all you need is one good photo to remember your day.
and i understand that since we’re having a wedding dinner, there aren’t that many exciting shots that the wedding photographer can take.
AND with that kind of money, we can probably buy a new DSLR to leave on the table as a “communal” camera. actually, we can probably buy two with shotty kit lenses.
in Boy’s mind, it’s silly to pay money for ‘some profession that only arose in recent years due to the availability of DSLRs’. according to him, ‘wedding photographers weren’t that big of a deal when OUR parents got married.’
“we should have our friends take photos,” he says.
all of his arguments are valid, but i still want a photographer!
i don’t know why, but i just do, emotionally!
i NEED a photographer to track how my guests are laughing and enjoying the night, to take photographic evidence that yes, this party of my life indeed did occur!
and sure, photography services cost as much as a fancy DSLR. but they have experience, which we will never have because we’re just prosumer photographers, NOT professionals.
sure, we have friends who will be attending the wedding, who also happen to be professional photographers, BUT THEY’RE OUR GUESTS! i would rather not cinge them with my day-of anxiety. i invited them in the first place so that they can eat good food and get drunk.
am i being unreasonable??
it’s too late to book any of the photographers i like, but i’m sure we can grab some intern or student photographer… but i’m not sure if he’ll even okay to that, since the issue is something out of principle and not out of cost.
Post # 3
we are getting a friend of ours to ours and he is a guest. I kinda ummed and ahhed about asking him but I would rather have some photos than none at all!!!
Fight for it!
Post # 4
Yes, 100% yes it is worth fighting for. After you get married, you want those special memories to look at and remember your wedding and I agree, it is not your guests’ job to step in as the photographer.
You don’t have to spend a ton of money on a photographer to get a good one and even though you’re not doing the typical reception things, there are still PLENTY of special moments to capture on your wedding day.
Please fight for this!!
Post # 5
The problem with having friends and family be your “freetographers” is that they don’t think about what YOU would want to see in photos, they are wrapped up in their own view of the wedding. So you end up with a bunch of disjointed photos from differing heights of random people. A professional photographer is paid to “get in the way” so to speak to get the good shot. They also have nothing better to do than take photos, so you won’t miss key moments or unplanned awesome things that happen. Leaving it to friends and family, yes you’ll still have photos of your wedding, but not really great photos, and a lot of key moments will be missed because your friends don’t want to “ruin the moment.”
Post # 6
i would say fight for it – possibly look for a cheaper photographer if you can, but pictures last forever, everything else (wine, food, etc) doesnt.
and the idea of buying a DSLR and letting friends randomly use it? yeah bad idea. DSLR’s are pretty complicated and unless you have friends that have already taken classes or something, its not like a point and click. trust me. you get all kinds of blurry and weird shots when you dont know what the correct settings should be.
if you DO go the buy a camera route, dont get a dslr – get one of teh right below models – canon and nikon have really good ones – they LOOK like the fancy pancy DSLR cameras, and can do some of the functions they can do – BUT can also be used as a point and click.
Post # 7
Have you thought about asking a local college student? I found one who has won awards and has great pictures…however he is still a student and doesn’t have much experience so he is only charging $400 for the whole day.
Post # 8
correction: he doesn’t have much wedding experience. Lots of photography experience though.
Post # 9
From what you have stated, it seems you are having a lot of financial difficulty putting your wedding together. Is there any way that you could postpone it for awhile. It would give you an opportunity to save up for a photographer and maybe a few other things.
Post # 10
we are broke, but we’ve been saving money for the wedding so it’s not THAT much of a strain.
we suck at dancing (no, really), so we gave up the dancing/dj.
he hates wedding cakes (“i’ve never had a GOOD wedding cake. evar.”), so we chucked the wedding cake. we are, however, having a dessert course with our meal.
and we’re not having an open bar, but we are having a four-course wine paired dinner.
however, we both come from eloped parents, and are getting a lot of flack for even having a wedding. hence, the uber minimalistic setting.
i’m definitely against the freetographers for the reasons mentioned above, and yes, i’m not too up for putting an expensive, hard-to-use camera in the hands of a bunch of drunks.
apparently i’ve been moping around too much about this issue (we’ve been arguing on-and-off about it for a month now), so he’s reluctantly looking up prices.
but that’s not the point!
i want him to understand WHY i’m moping about this, but no matter how i explain the matter to him, he’s not quite getting it. are all guys like this?
Post # 11
My Fiance was too. He is the kind of person that doesn’t get why I want to stop and take pictures on vacations. But I explained how they were important to me and that we could get a good deal. That has worked out to be a pretty good compromise.
Post # 12
I say if he’s looking at prices and seems you might be getting a photographer – don’t push him. If doesn’t see your point of view and still has opinion about photographers but is getting you a photographer try to let it go. All it’s going to do is annoy him. He may never understand or maybe once he sees the picture he will. Either way, your getting pics and that’s what matters.
Post # 13
fight for it! even if you get them for half of the time and then have friends take it from there.
emilymuchnikoff: please make sure that the student you hired has some idea about what is involved in shooting a wedding. It is very different from shooting landscapes, or still life, whatever. You might want to go over the moments that you want him to make sure to pay attention to. As a photography student, I know what its like to go from landscapes to wedding photos. I’m not saying that he can’t do it, because he may be great at it. I was a bit overwhelmed by the time line and the pressure to “get the shot”…Pictures came out fine, but I was stressed. Since then I have decided to never shoot a wedding again. I like shooting trees way more than shooting people! $400 is a great price…I shot for a family wedding so payment was $0…
Post # 14
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all! If having good photos is important to you, hire a pro. As pps have pointed out, if you rely on guests, you may not get pictures of the moments that are most important to you, and the quality of the photos may be lacking, even if they are shooting with quality equipment. Pros have experience shooting weddings – they can anticipate important moments, they know how to get in the right position to capture a shot from the best angle, and they know how to shoot in difficult lighting conditions. Bad lighting can ruin a photo, no matter how well it’s framed.
While I can understand your FI’s point of view about purchasing a DSLR for the same price as hiring a pro photographer, I don’t fully agree with it. We have a high end consumer-level DSLR and pretty decent lenses, and DH and I are both skilled adobe lightroom and photoshop users. We had a family member with a good eye for photography shoot with our camera, and we edited the pictures. Honestly, they simply don’t compare to the photos shot by our pro photographer. While wedding photography services can cost around what you’d spend on a consumer DSLR, that equipment doesn’t produce the same results as pro level equipment. The Nikon D3, a pro level DSLR, has an MSRP of $5,000 – more than what the average wedding photographer charges to shoot a wedding. And that’s just for the body. Pro level lenses can cost several hundred to several thousand dollars. Pro equipment simply takes better pictures, especially in challenging lighting conditions, such as indoors at night. Additionally, pros will use off camera flash, which will result in much better pictures. Pros also know how to fully utilize their equipment. As spaganya pointed out, unless your guests know how to use your camera, they’re not going to be able to use the functions that make it a superior camera.
Could you compromise and hire a pro to be there for a portion of the evening? That way, you could be confident that you’d have a least some great photos, but it would cost less than full coverage of the wedding.
Post # 15
I think its important to have photos… soooo many couples regret not having good wedding pics.
I found a local college kid (his portfolio is very impressive & he’s doing them for $150) on craigslist. You can find great talent on CL & pretty affordable too. Just make sure they’ve done weddings before & have a portfolio (or website) you can see 🙂
Post # 16
after much whining, Boy finally said okay. Persistence wins!
I guess he asked people at work and everyone told him that if he didn’t want to deal with eternal nagging, he’d better get a photographer
But since we’re not willing to drop 3K on a brand-name photographer, we’ve asked an acquaintance of ours who is starting up a photography business. She normally does fashion photography, so we’re going to list up what kind of shots we want and give them to her.
Also, since we still want some guest photos, we’ll be making a community Picasa album and leave calling cards (one of those moo cards) with the Picasa album address
Thanks for all your advice! now that’s one problem done, many more to tackle…