Post # 1
I got married a couple of weeks ago and one thing that bothered me about my day was my photographer. Long story short she is very good at what she does and I am pleased with my wedding photos.
What I disliked was during one of the group photos she told my husband to look at his guys and he didnt. She then yelled “Your guys” in a tone that I wasn’t pleased with. I was going to yell back at her not to yell at him but I didn’t want to ruin the day so I figured I would bring it up to her in private after the photos. Also during our cake cutting the second photographer told my mom to go up to us before we finished so that I could feed her. When I started to walk away from the table my mom came up and asked for a piece of cake and I told her the staff at would venue would serve her. Then she asked for a piece of the cake on the plate my husband and I had ate off of. My mom started looking for a fork and my husband told me that there was one on our table. My mom grabbed the fork off of our table and took a piece and told me to feed it to her. I was confused and I also told her to feed herself and that I would feed my husband and not her. My aunt screamed out “What are you doing”?. My mom fed herself and quickly responded that the photographer told her to do it. I walked over to the photographer and asked her what was that about in which she replied “It was supposed to be a joke” with her hand on my arm. Her second photographer looked at her and said ” it was funny”. I walked away because I was getting pissed off. I was mad at my mom for awhile but I asked her why she did it and she said that the second photographer kept telling her to do it.
Also during a photo of me alone the main photographer told me to sit down for the photo and as I was sitting down she yelled out “SIT DOWN”. There was background noise so I’m not sure if she thought I didn’t here her or if I was not moving fast enough for her. Either way I didn’t like it and it immediately pissed me off. I wanted to yell at her not to yell at me. I didn’t again because all I could think of was not ruining the day. Now that the day is over and I didn’t get a chance to address her alone and I have received my photos I would like to tell her what I disliked and I would prefer to call and tell her these things instead of just leaving a review. I just need suggestions on what to say exactly. Any suggestions?
Post # 2
toodles321 : uhh…i think you just need to let this go. You’re really super nitpicking here. Move on.
Post # 3
What’s your goal by talking to her? Do you want an apology?
I’d just write a review, I don’t think she’s really going to give a shit if you weren’t happy with her behavior, the wedding is over, she’s got her money. I’d be annoyed too, so I get it, she sounds pushy.
If you’re OK with not getting an apology, and you just want to tell her off so you feel better, then just call her and tell her what you’ve told us here.
Post # 4
I really think you’re overreacting. She raised her voice because she wanted to get a shot and your husband wasn’t paying attention and it was loud. The cake thing is a little weird but I’m not sure why you were so upset about it.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
toodles321 : I’m going to make a pitch for a change in perspective.
I hired a photographer without a ton of experience, but it seemed like she was evolving really nicely, so I rolled the dice. I liked her personally quite a lot, but ultimately she wasn’t a very good photographer. We had a fun day with her out taking our engagement photos, but after seeing the final result, we were very disappointed with the results. We ultimately decided to hire someone else to shoot the wedding. Good day, bad photos.
So, you’ve said you’re happy with your photos. You had some friction with her during the day of your wedding, but it’s in the past and you never have to see her again. What you DO see for ever after are the photos. Which you say you love. Bad day, good photos.
I think confronting her is pointless and counterproductive. On the day, if you had been able to take her aside and ask her to use a more polite tone with you, that would have been one thing. You could have withheld a tip to demonstrate your displeasure. You can still write a review detailing your experience. Bringing this to her personally is just seems out of place and potentially a bit vindictive. You never have to see or talk to her again; what do you hope to get out of scolding her at this point?
Enjoy your photos. Write a review if you really think it’s that important. Otherwise, move on.
Post # 6
I opened this thread expecting that your photographer got drunk, hit on your husband, missed your first dance and lost the memory card after the day.
Needless to say, I’m disappointed.
I get it. I thought my DJ was extremely unprofessional and wasn’t happy at the end of the day. I decided to let it go for my own health and so that I could focus on pleasant memories of the day.
If you really want to follow-up with her about it and think that would bring you some closure, go for it. I would approach it diplomatically and in a way that seems like you’re trying to help her moving forward. “We love our photos but I wanted to give you some feedback about your behavior so that you don’t encounter issues with future brides. At times it felt like you were yelling at us, which I was taken aback by. I also thought the ‘joke’ you arranged with my mom was inappropriate. Overall, though, we were very happy with the product and wish you all the best.”
Post # 7
Just let it go. My Photographer was an a-hole on my wedding day , openly complaining that I was behind schedule getting ready (even though he showed up an hour ahead of the time we had agreed upon!!!). He also was quite rude and took 4 months to get our pictures done. He also did not go table to table as I requested. HOWEVER, our pictures were beautiful and he was pretty low cost (around $1k). So for the money and dealing with his primadonna ways, it was well worth it.
Just leave reviews so future brides know what they may be in for
Post # 8
Make like Elsa and let it go.
Post # 9
Yeah, it’s not worth it. Let it go. Come on the boards to vent, get it out, and move on.
If your photos were not good, then I may be more inclined to say something. If she was a little bossy and directing people in a harsher tone than you’re used to, I wouldn’t take it personally.
Post # 10
Yep, on the “let it go” side here. Photographers sometimes need to be “highly directive”. Perhaps that style doesnt work for you, and you took her direction as yelling. Maybe they thought a mother daughter cake photo would be cute, IDK. But really, letting those little things ruin your day is so so silly.
That said, if you were uncomfortable, you should have spoken up in the moment. You say multiple times “i wanted to yell back blahblahblah but didnt”. There is no point addressing it NOW, because its been weeks and its unlikely to have an effect. If she was, in fact, yelling at you and it actually bothered you, telling her in the moment would have probably solved everything. Well, maybe not if you also yelled it back like you wanted lol.
Post # 12
You need to lighten up. And it sounds like you were unpleasant to your mother basically because she was gullible and didn’t say no to the photographer.
Post # 13
Let it go. Sounds like like an overreaction.
Post # 14
Also… why wouldn’t you just feed your mom even if you thought it was odd?
Post # 15
As a photographer…One who has done weddings… LET IT GO.
It is as exhuasting to be the photographer as it is to be in the actual damn wedding. You have to chase people and have a TINY window of time to get the right shots. People aren’t listening and you have to raise your voice or run around frantically. At the end of the day would you rather have an assertive photographer or bad pictures?