Post # 1
So Fiance and I have been putting together our ‘must take photo’ list to give to our photographer (the wedding is still 6 months away, but anytime we think of something, we just add it to the list)…and he comes home last night and says that his Mom mentioned to him that his brother and sister-in-law would like to have our photographer take some photos of just the two of them at our wedding. They got married a couple of years ago, but have both lost a lot of weight since then, and apparently they wanted some new professional photos of the two of them.
Maybe I’m just being a bridezilla (which I’m not prone to do, honestly!), but I was FLOORED. I mean, it’s one thing if we offered to have our photographer (which my parents and Fiance and I are paying for…and paying a pretty penny too, I might add) take the photos…but to ask someone to have THEIR wedding photographer take time away from the bride and groom to take photos of you at THEIR wedding is just rude and tacky to me! Plus, we have a TON of photos that we want our photographer to take, and we have a tight timeline anyway…so she’s going to be crazy busy that day!
I would NEVER go up to anyone who was getting married and be like ‘so, I know it’s your wedding and all, but can you have your photographer take some pictures of just Fiance and I at your wedding? Thanks.” Who does that?? I’m sorry, but I’ve been a guest at at ton of weddings over the years, and the wedding is always about the bride and groom…this is FI’s and my day, and that day is going to be about us, damn it!
Sorry – just had to get that rant out there…I’m usually pretty calm when it comes to wedding stuff, but that really hit a nerve with me!
Post # 3
Maybe I’m in the minority, but this didn’t bother me. Hey, at least it’s family and not some random guest trying to use your photographer! My brother in law had never had pro photos taken of him and his kids, so they had a few shots taken of them all dressed up in between other formal photos and it took maybe 2 minutes in the grand scheme of the day. If it really, truly will throw off the schedule of the day, let them know. It is you and your FI’s day, so you guys need to be comfortable with what’s going on.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Just work this into the family photo session. It will take all of 5 minutes. It’s really not that big of a deal.
Edit: In project management terms, we call this “scope creep”. It’s when someone finds out that you are doing something that has the potential to benefit them. That someone requests an addition or modification to suit their own needs because they see it as an opportunity. It’s nothing personal, really. They are just hoping to capitalize on an unexpected opportunity that your project has offered them. Seize the day, and all that jazz. I really would not take offense. there are lots of things to be upset about in this world. Is this issue really worth your emotional time and energy?
Post # 5
I actually requested that my photographer take a couple of shots of just my ring bearer with his parents (my aunt and uncle). I thought they would really appreciate having a pro shot to remember the day.
Can your photographer just snap a couple of shots of them during the family photos? If you photographer is a pro, he can do it in less than one minute, I promise! 🙂
Post # 6
I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla, I wouldn’t like that either. It is your wedding day & you shouldn’t have to worry about anyone else… I guess if there is any downtime where the photographer isn’t busy, they could get a pic of the two of them. But you shouldn’t have to put that in your schedule.
Post # 7
I offered this to both my brother and his wife and family, and to my BIL/wife/family. Even if they had asked me for it, I wouldn’t have been upset about it though. At least they didn’t demand it! 🙂 As @misspeanut: says, if it’s going to completely throw the schedule off or you just don’t want to do it for whatever other reason, then just say so to them.
Post # 8
Honestly, this would bother me a bit. It’s your wedding, not everyone elses’ personal photo shoot.
I would let the photog do one of them together and then move it along. Maybe you could even write that on your photos list : “ONE alone picture of brother and sister in law.”
Post # 9
I never considered my friends and family to be rude people, but you would be surprised at how much of it seems to come out during the wedding planning process.
Just say the photographer is going to be busy, if she gets around to them then great, but you are not making any promises.
Post # 10
@kelly101212: I agree with PPs that the shoot wont take long. BUT if you’re having say 500 photos returned to you (I don’t know what your contract says) I wouldn’t want x amount of someone elses portrait session since your essentially paying for it.
Post # 11
Definintely an odd request, but like PPs have said, it might not impact your day too much. Just say that those extra picture can be accomodated only if/when *all* of the pictures on your own list have been taken.
Post # 12
While I don’t think it’s a huge deal and I’m sure it won’t take a lot of time or anything, I DO think that’s incredibly rude to ask someone, and kinda ballsy. I would never ask that of someone else.
I would just let it go though. Not worth the argument.
Post # 13
It’s annoying, but is there anyway you could have the photographer take 2-3 snaps of them when you’re having family & wedding party pics taken? Or if you’ve got two shooters, have the extra shooter do a couple pics? While I think it’s a bit pushy, I think that you could oblige and keep the peace with minimal inconvience and invasiveness. Or if you simply feel you can’t, maybe get them a small certificate to your photographer’s studio for a photoshoot to celebrate their accomplishment?
Post # 14
I agree that this depends on your photo contract. If they can order the pictures themselves after, I would let them do it. They could do it during the family photos or ask them to do it during some down time. Like when everyone is eating. I wouldn’t get too upset with them. It sounds like they weren’t being demanding, just asking if it was a possibility. Definately not worth creating family drama for a couple minutes of your photog’s time.
Post # 15
I personally wouldn’t have the guts to ask the pro photographer to take a photo of my SO and I at someone else’s wedding. I mean, if they really want photos of just the two of them, I’m guessing there will be tons of friends/family with their own personal cameras who could snap a pic no?
That being said…even though it’s a somewhat strange request, I don’t think it’s a big deal to just have the photographer take a photo of them. You already have a list of “must have” shots so what difference is one more going to make? It’s definitely not worth causing a kerfluffle over.
Post # 16
I mean, we haven’t finalized our photo list yet, so I hadn’t thought through all of the other family-type photos we’d want (other than the standard ones)…and I wouldn’t have had an issue offering it, but to ask someone for it is just rude in my opinion. It’s just not something I would ever ask someone at their wedding!
I only have 1 sister, but she has special needs, so maybe I’m just not used to the brother/sister/sibling dynamic since I never had that? I don’t know…but it bothered me nonetheless!