(Closed) Photography question – does this seem rude to anyone else??

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 48
Member
3132 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

It doesn’t bother me.  We were in that exact same situation, in fact, and we went with it.  There are plenty of times during the day when you’ll be busy doing a non-photography thing and the photographer can take two seconds to get some pictures of his brother and SIL.

Post # 49
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If they want professional shots taken so badly they can get dressed up and go get them done themselves. 

If a wedding photographer happens to get a candid shot or you are included in the family shots, great but I would never ask for it. OP, I agree, it rubs me the wrong way too. If you want to keep family harmony, put it on the ‘if there’s time’ list for the photographer.

Post # 50
Member
2721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

They can book the photographer, or any other one they want, for a private photo shoot.  Wanting to hijack the photographer at your wedding is RUDE!

Post # 51
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would say if they just want a couple of shots, let them do it. If they are asking for, like a PP said, a mini-engagement type shoot, then no. It’s fine if it’s quick, not if it’s taking time out of the pictures you want taken.

Post # 52
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had a very similar scenario when my uncle asked if they could do a family photo shoot at our wedding. I was cool with the photographer snapping a few quick photos of them, but I was not crazy about them doing an actual session with several different poses, etc. I just told him that the photographer had a lot of shots to get, but if they were able to grab him he should be happy to take a few photos.

I also posted about it on WB, and opinions were very split. To me, a few minutes during some downtime during the reception is no problem, but if they want a 10 minute session during formal photo time, that might be an issue.

Post # 53
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

No, this is rude. Photography is very expensive. This isn’t their time to shine.

Post # 54
Member
3974 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Eh, they just asked. Just say no if it bothers you.

Personally, I’d be fine with letting them get 1 or 2 photos taken while we’re doing family shots, but no more than that.

Post # 55
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

OP, I just read through the rest of your responces and it does sound like either they or your Future Mother-In-Law is looking for engagement-like photos. I’d try and put a stop to this now. Tell them/FMIL the photographer has a very tight timeline and will most likely not be able to do more then candid shots or the planned formal family shots. And then hand them a buisness card saying that you’re sure the photographer would love to sit down and schedule a photo session for a different time.

Post # 56
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think this is a big deal at all.  My sister is excited about my photog getting some artistic shots of her kids when we have some down time, and I think it’s a great idea.

Post # 57
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@kelly101212:  And I meant to say but just realized that I didn’t — if we’re only talking about posed pictures of the two of them in the context of family shots then it sounds like a sensible request. (If we’re talking about the three of them running off for a mini-engagement shoot, that is something else altogether.) Maybe it’s time to talk to your Future Mother-In-Law to clarify what she meant?

Post # 58
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

I agree that clarification is in order.  If they just want a quick snap or two of the two of them while you have your family gathered for group pictures OR do they want to go off with the photographer and have their own little shoot so they have a picture for their next Christmas card?

In light of how much you’re probalby spending on your photographer, I would totally understand being upset by someone taking them away from the action. 

 

*EDIT* Took a phone call while some of the recent posts came in…oops.  Great minds think alike.  🙂
 

 

Post # 59
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I totally understand your feelings, but at all the weddings I’ve been to the photographer actually took shots of the other family members without being asked. Like at my wedding he took solo shots of my mom, sister, aunt’s and uncle’s and their kids, etc. It took 2 minutes. I do know that at my close friend’s wedding her dad’s brothers hijacked the photographer and had him taking shot after shot so she advised me that if anyone asks the photographer he has been given a list of shots and names of people who can authorize changes (like the bride, groom and MOB). That girl also has like 11 uncles on her father’s side though. 

Post # 60
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would find it rude to ask you. You are paying the photographer to capture your day. The photographer probably would have gotten a picture or so with the two of them anyway, but for that comment to be made I too would be upset. I understand it would be a completely different story if it was offered but to ask for it doesn’t seem right.

Post # 61
Member
798 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’d find this annoying.  I think that it’s cool if you wanted to offer to do this, but I think that it’s really ballsy to ask.  Also, given your FMIL’s comments, they seem to want to use this as an opportunity to take engagement-type photos.  Again, if you wanted to do this for them, cool.  But they shouldn’t be asking upfront, IMO.

If you decide to do it, discuss it with your photographer ahead of time and let both sides know what is available so there is no confusion (no wandering off, etc).  The photographer still works for you, so your Future Mother-In-Law shouldn’t be bothering them about “when are you going to take so and so’s photo” for example.  Decide all of that ahead of time.

As you can see above, you could say “if there’s time” and honestly, there probably will be time, but be prepared for backlash if there isn’t.  They should also offer to pay for the proofs or prints.  You don’t have to take them up on that, but I’d be really upset if they didn’t offer.

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