Post # 62
What?! So what if only takes five minutes?! Are THEY paying for this? OP, I agree that this is very, very rude. Maybe it’s a regional thing. But, I would never in a million gazillion years ask someone to let me borrow their photographer for a few minutes for personal shots. Instead, I would approach the photographer at the wedding and ask about a private session on ANOTHER day. I really hope you’ve nixed this. How many pictures were they wanting your photographer to take? If you mean like one picture, then I might let it slide. Although, I’d still be annoyed. But, if they’re wanting a series of shots of just the two of them, I would say hell no!
Post # 63
To be honest, I don’t like the sound of it because they seem to want more than a couple of pictures. I agree that clarification is needed.
If the photographer were to take a couple of photos of them during general family photo time that’s fine. If they want a mini-session with just the two of them and the photographer, then they need to book her and pay for her. Some of the best moments happen during what was originally planned to be down-time. I would want my photographer to catch the planned and unplanned moments for my memories.
They had their day and the opportunity to do these sentimental things. When you make a decision to pass up once in a lifetime moments, it’s not fair to ask someone to sacrifice theirs so you can relive the moment
Post # 64
@kelly101212: I think you’re over-reacting. It’s definitely a little bit of a forward request, but it will take 2 minutes to snap a few shots of them during the time when the formal family shots are going on. At least its his brother… At my sister’s wedding, a distant relative went up to the photographer themself (during the reception) and asked him to come take pictures of their family (including kids and grandkids). Now THAT is wrong.
Post # 65
I think it’s super rude of them! Your photographer probably could take the photos, but so what! If they want pictures so bad they can either go to a portrait studio or book a session with a photographer.
Maybe you should just tell them that the photog won’t be able to do it during the wedding but you can share her contact info if they want to book a private session.
Post # 66
One other thing, I wonder how much of this is coming from Future Mother-In-Law and not them, it sounds like she is the middle of this, and I wonder how much sis and bro in law know she is saying and doing.
Post # 67
I think this is super rude. It doesn’t sound to me like they just want a couple pics of them throughout the night. It sounds like they want a mini-session DURING your wedding. And honestly I would be pissed about that. At our wedding we got behind on photos because my mom kept wanting photos of family members during the formal portrait session and it threw everything off and totally stressed me out.
If I were you I’d tell her there really won’t be any time to do formal pictures of them, but you’ll make sure to tell the photog to take a couple candids during the reception portion, and you’d be more than happy to pass along the photograhper’s information to them so they can book a photo shoot of their own at a later date.
Post # 68
@kelly101212: I think it’s insane that they would ask that!! This is YOUR WEDDING!! I understand them wanting some updated pictures of themselves… but not asking to have their own shoot.
I would talk to your fiance about it. He may feel the same way and be able to talk to his mom (or them) about it.
Just know that even if it does happen, no one will take the spotlight from YOU TWO on YOUR wedding day. If they try to make a big deal about it, they will look the fool, not you.
Post # 69
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I agree with PPs that this needs clarification. Are they looking for 1-2 photos alone together? That can easily be accommodated during family photos.
Are they requesting going off with the photographer to shoot in different settings, etc? If this is what they want, than I agree with the bees would suggested the photographer meet then *before* the wedding (for 1/2 hour) and they pay her directly.
Post # 70
No, that is weird. Its one thing to be in a few shots that the photographer takes, its another thing to ask for specific pictures of yourselves! I would ignore the request completely- your photographer will have plenty to do that day doing the work he/she was hired to do.
Post # 71
Is the photographer paying per shot? If not, then no, it’s not a big deal. A couple of shots will take all of a minute. This isn’t just some random guest, this is your fiance’s brother. I’m assuming you’re doing some family pictures anyway, and not just a ton of glamour shots of the two of you?
Post # 72
As a photographer myself, I find the request extremely rude… from what is sounds like they just want to save $$$ and get some nicer photos than they are willing to pay for themselves. I would say, “The photographer will be taking some family photos. I would be happy to let him/her take a shot of just the two of you at that time.” Then I would give the photographer’s business card and tell them that he/she does portrait/couples sessions as well if they are interested.
It is very rude and tacky to not only ask you, the bride, to hijack your photographer, but it is taking business away from a great photographer who deserves to be paid for a separate couples’ session! I, personally, would not agree to it if I was the photographer, since you never know what awesome things you might miss AND the couple is paying me for photos of THEIR wedding day, not to go off and have a mini-session!
Post # 73
Personally, I think its rude but I’d be okay with them getting 1 or 2 photos taken if its close family. What drives me crazy is that weddings only happen once, but you can do a family portrait anytime… people hijacking the wedding photographer is like stealing from their wedding day.
However, as a photographer, I would not do a mini-session of someone else. I’d do 1 or 2 shots, as I go around during the reception & take photos of tables or families anyways. Unless the bride/groom asked me, then I’d do what they wanted.
I would just tell them your photographer has a lot of shots to take & if they are able to take 1 or 2 photos, that’s fine but can’t guarantee it. If they want more than that, your photographer would love to schedule a photoshoot with them.
Post # 74
@kelly101212: Personally I think it is very rude. It is your day not theirs they already had theirs. Especially since you are paying the photographer for yourself
Post # 75
Thanks for all of the comments and suggestions, everyone – I appreciate all of the ideas! It’s definitely very interesting at the split of opinions…I was actually not really expecting that, but live and let live.
For those of you who had asked, yes we’re definitely doing family shots before and right after the ceremony.
And I think the reason my Future Mother-In-Law is the one mentioning this to us (and not FI’s brother and sister in law) is that we talk to his Mom a good bit (his family is all out of state, so we don’t see them all the time…but we do still stay in touch via phone and email), but he’s not close to his brother and his wife, so we rarely talk to them. I have a feeling if we did talk to them more, the request would have come from them…and it may at some point – because that’s just their personality (overbearing and pushy). Whereas, that’s not my FMIL’s personality at all…she’s very sweet, and is really excited for the 2 of us – she sends us messages each month when we reach another countdown marker (i.e., 7 months left, 6 months left, etc.) 🙂
I think what we’re going to do is mention to our photographer that we’re sticking to our scheduled family photos for before and right after the ceremony (mainly so that no one attempts to hijack her…that way she will be prepared with an answer ahead of time) – we’re getting married in October and will have limited daylight to work with after our ceremony, so we need to go through the pictures and make sure we get all of the ones that Fiance and I want taken. And we’re going to tell either my Future Mother-In-Law or his brother and sister-in-law (still haven’t decided exactly how to handle this part) that we’re on a tight timeline for the family portraits, but that we will ask our photographer to make sure she takes some candids of the two of them during the reception. That makes Fiance and I less irritated, and will hopefully appease their desire for photos…I hope, anyway.
Post # 76
I think what you’ve decided sounds more than reasonable. I would not be down with my photographer taking time away from our scheduled photos to take some glamour shots of my relatives whom I rarely see. The candid shots and the family shots sound just fine!