Post # 1
Ah, Facebook. We have a very love/hate relationship.
When I got engaged, I waited to ‘change my status’ until we had told everyone that we loved PERSONALLY. Those who found out on FB found out because I don’t know them ‘well enough’ (i.e. high school people and acquaintances) to call or email them with the happy news.
We plan to pay for/set up a free photosharing site and will give out the details for those who are willing to share their shots with us. However, I’m ALSO considering placing a comment in our programs that reads the following:
After the event, we encourage guests to upload their personal photos and videos at (insert info here). We respectfully request that no photos or video be uploaded on Facebook or YouTube without permission.
I AM specifically concerned about a certain relative who is very photo happy. As in, she not only posts any and all pics, she also doesn’t take nice photos, flattering shots or sometimes even give you notice. Imagine photos of yourself, mouth gaping open, adjusting your dress, as you’re eating – yep, she does it all. She also doesn’t filter through her pics either – everything she takes, she posts and tags.
Where I am going with this? We leave for a week long honeymoon the day after the wedding – and I’m envisioning coming back to find hundreds of photos of everything posted on Facebook and tagged with our names. This has happened a lot to other friends of mine – and while usually that is alright, I really want to have some say as to what pics go up and when. Knowing that I cannot in any way 100% prevent our wedding photos from hitting Facebook before WE post them, I still have a question. I know it’s wishful thinking – and since I’m on Facebook in the first place, a bit controlling for someone so ‘out there’ publicly online – but it is really so much to ask that we are able to load our OWN wedding photos once we return from the honeymoon?
Post # 3
I understand how you’d want to be the first one to share your wedding photos with family/friends, and will want everyone to see the flattering/beautfiul pictures taken by your photographer, but I really don’t think you should ask that people not upload their photos. And in this day where everything is up 10 minutes after it happened, I’m not sure anyone would listen. Your guests will share their photos with each other, but everyone will still be excited to see the pro pics when they come out.
Post # 4
Oh, and you’ll be so anxious for your photos to come in, I’ll bet you’ll love getting a sneak peak of some of the photos from the day.
Post # 5
I totally agree with you on this and think it is a great idea to write that on your program. I will probably do the same, except that I don’t want to encourage guests to take photos at all! I’m so scared of a guest getting in the way of my pro photog or screwing her shot up with their flash or something. I think it’s totally within your rights to request that guests not upload their photos. It’s your day, and you didn’t invite the entire internet for a reason. You should be the arbiter of what gets posted from your own wedding.
Post # 6
I’m sure this post will get more hits tomorrow, so I did want to add really quickly that this isn’t even about waiting for the professional pics to come in – which will happen quickly, because a friend of mine is our photographer.
I’m all for Facebook, it’s fun and a great time killer for sure – but I’ve had some pictures I would rather not be public get posted in the past (vacations I’ve taken where I’ve got drinks in my hand, I’m wearing less clothing or in a bathing suit, making silly faces and looking less than professional, etc). Obviously with a wedding, I’m going to look like a bride and I’m not concerned about my ‘image’ per se – I just feel like it’s my right to choose what parts of my wedding I want to share with the whole world.
Post # 7
I tend to agree – if you don’t want them posted you’re perfectly within your rights to request that they’re not posted. After my best friends wedding I uploaded photos from the wedding, but none with the couple in them. So I uploaded photos of myself and my mum & sister, photos of myself and my fella but waited until she got back from her honeymoon until I asked her if it was okay if I posted photos of her & her husband. In the end she asked me to email them to her so she could see them on her honeymoon cos she was super keen to see them as others here have suggested, but I didn’t have to upload them to Facebook in order for her to see them. I’m sure if you ask, people will happily respect your wishes.
Post # 8
@Miss Sparklespaniel: See, I plan to ask my maid of honor in fact to post a few pictures onto Facebook for me – I just don’t want every person from all over posting them!
Post # 9
Well, I think you’re certainly entitled to have a say about what gets posted! I totally understand wanting to be able to pick what’s posted – I’ve had HIDEOUS photos of me that have been posted and tagged. It’s mortifying! LOL
Post # 10
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all! I’m a FB junkie … mainly because I live overseas and all my friends and family are so far away. It’s literally my main connection to all of them (the timezones doesn’t allow for easy calling since they’re asleep when I’m awake and I’m eating dinner when they’re at work, etc). BUT I don’t include my Fi’s family in any of my dozens of pictures because they’re not on FB and can’t see them.
But my friends often upload massive pictures. The rule for us is (if it’s an event), don’t tag anyone except for yourself. Even if you’re tagged in a picture you hate, you can always untag, especially if it’s not a solo shot. And if it’s truly bad, ask for it to be taken down. But we’re only like this with our close friends.
I personally find it sweet (sometimes embarassing) for others to add pics and tag me in a picture. Thank goodness my friends are a little more careful with posting. It sounds like this girl is the only potential problematic one =P I hope she gets it and you’re not surprised with a bunch of chewing pics!
Post # 11
There was another bride concerned about this, too, and I agree! I think the note you have sounds good, and I think you could always ask the DJ/MC to make an announcement at the reception. Hope you beat them to the punch! Depending on how much you trust your Maid/Matron of Honor, you could also give her your Facebook login and ask her to be photo police and untag you in anyone does post pictures.
Post # 12
So glad to see this! I’m not engaged yet, but I’ve planned to do the same thing. I personally don’t want my wedding photos on Facebook. Maybe I’ll try that and having a destination wedding might help too.lol
Post # 13
another easy fix, you can set your privacy settings to have it so no one can tag you in photos, without your approval first, you can set it for before your wedding then when you get back from your honeymoon you can go thru the ones that you were requested to be tagged in and approve them if you want.
Post # 14
I don’t think you should write that in your programs – maybe tell people by word of mouth. I also agree with spaganya, just change your privacy setting so that no one can see your tagged photos and when you get back from your honeymoon untag any photos that you don’t like.
Post # 15
I completely understand the Facebook thing. We created a photo sharing site on Shutterfly, so I’m hoping that will prevent the pictures from showing up on Facebook.
I put the following message in my welcome letter and program:
NOTE ABOUT FACEBOOK:
Please do not upload any pictures of C & J from the wedding ceremony or reception to Facebook.
We thank you in advance for respecting our desire to keep our wedding day memories private.
Post # 16
Im pretty sure there is a setting that you can change to where you can make it so no one can tag you in photos OR so that the only people that can see your photos and photos you are tagged in are your friends or just customized like just yourself or just you and Fiance or whatever you want.