Post # 1
My wedding is May 30 — yeah, like 70 some days away — and my original Maid/Matron of Honor, one of my oldest friends from college, decided last weekend that she’s unable to fulfill her duties (long story…). Now I have three bridesmaids, and we have three groomsmen (before Maid/Matron of Honor dropped out, we had 4 Bridesmaid or Best Man and 3 GM). Since we’re so close to the event, do you think I should ask one of the BMs to serve as the Maid/Matron of Honor … or just honor them all as bridesmaids? I should mention that my sister is one of the Bridesmaid or Best Man. We haven’t ever been close, but I did serve as her Maid/Matron of Honor in her 1995 wedding. If I ask her to step into this role, I don’t want her to think she’s only being asked because I’m stuck. Help, hive!!
Post # 3
I’d just leave your bridesmaids as bridesmaids. Those ladies are presumably all important to you–there’s no reason to single one of them out just for the sake of having a Maid/Matron of Honor. And you’re right, I think your sister could feel like you were just asking her because your original plans fell through.
Post # 4
I think you should speak to ALL of them (maybe send an email?) and explain why the Maid/Matron of Honor dropped out and reiterate how much you appreciate all of them and their involvement in your wedding. There are things that the Maid/Matron of Honor would have done that these ladies are going to have to step in and do, so communicating with them is probably a good first step. If I were you I’d tell them that you value each of them so much that you would love it if they could ALL be your Maids of Honor and split up the duties among them. Maybe your sister can sign the marriage license, the best speaker can give the toast, and the most detail oriented Bridesmaid or Best Man can be put in charge of last minute things on the day of, etc. Speaking to them individually abut what you would like each of them to do and elaborating on WHY you would like their help ("you’re such a great public speaker, I’d be honored if you would give a toast at the wedding, will you consider it?") is sure to get positive results.
I think that as long as your bridesmaids all feel that you really value them they will be happy to step in and help you, and none will feel iike they’re ONLY being asked to do these things becasue the original Maid/Matron of Honor dropped out.