(Closed) Pick your own ring?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
80 posts
Worker bee

Honestly I find it a bit odd that you would pick it yourself. 

I can understand I guess going to look at rings together and pointing out a few you like. Then the other going back and buying one of them or one very like it. But I guess I think if someone is asking you to marry them they should know you well enough to know your taste. 

Post # 2
6272 posts
Bee Keeper

Theres no right or wrong on this. 

We loved doing our ring research together. It was a great journey for both of us learning about diamonds, and just a lot if fun going shopping. 

Other bees might tell you they loved their out of blue proposal and ring. 

What do you think? Why do you ask?

Post # 4
6272 posts
Bee Keeper

nedville:  I know what you mean but I thought my taste was a modern cushion in a halo but when I tried them on they didn’t do it for me. Still swoon about them on others though. So I’m really glad we went shopping. 

Post # 5
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I picked out my ring. I found it on Etsy just randomly one day and pinned it before my SO and I ever talked about rings. I’d check to see if it was sold on occasion and to oogle at it or show girlfriends. When he took me ring shopping, nothing else compared to that ring. I told him about it after leaving the jewelery store and on the way home he had me contact the seller and put it on hold til we got home. His opinion is that as long as I love the ring since I will be wearing it for the rest of my life, he doesn’t care. He was happy I was happy and that’s what matters. It also took off some pressure for a guy who knows nothing about jewelry. I’m not saying that he isn’t capable of picking out a ring for me, he had looked online previously and picked out some really beauties, but wanted to make sure. He knew my taste in metals and cuts and wanted to run some options past me before he took an expensive plunge. . My sister thought all this was outrageous and that I had cursed my future marriage because I didn’t follow gender stereotypes, letting him pick it out. That’s such outdated thinking IMO.

Post # 6
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

AshleyK1225:  It’s for each couple to decide for themselves.

Post # 7
240 posts
Helper bee

I think either way is acceptable. However, I personally enjoyed working together to find one. He was having a hard time with my style or what’d I like. I KNOW its the meaning behind the ring and not the look, size, or style, BUT you’ll be wearing this everyday, (presumably), for the rest of your life. You want to love it on your hand! I’ve been engaged for 13 months and every time I catch the sparkle I melt all over again. Its exactly what I wanted and I know I will never want an upgrade or change.

I read all the time girls secretly hating their rings for whatever reason and it eats them up!!! Within less than a year theyre already plotting how to pitch getting a new one. I’d hate that feeling. My fiance was glad to take my advice, suggestions, and ultimately picking my own ring. However, I let him take the credit. All of our friends and family think he did it mostly on his own 🙂 I don’t care! As long as I love it 😍

Post # 8
9219 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think either way is fine, as long as both parties are on board. 

In our case, we technically picked it out together bc Fiance wanted to be sure it was a ring that I would love before purchasing it, but the one I picked ended up being the one he would’ve chosen had it been completely up to him, so I would’ve ended up in the same place regardless.

I’ve always thought a good compromise is to pick 2-3 ones that you really like and then have your SO decide which one to get you. That way, you know you’ll like the ring, but there’s an element of surprise and input from your SO in there too.

Post # 9
1312 posts
Bumble bee

I picked out my own ring. My fiancé is the one who wanted my input; I’ll be wearing it forever so he wanted me to get exactly what I want.

Post # 10
10577 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

You can chose your own ring or he can chose it, there’s no set rules. I chose my original ring, and designed my current ring. 

Post # 11
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I picked mine out. Just ordered it yesterday actually. He wanted to make sure I had something I would love and I was worried about him getting ripped off like a few of our friends have. I would be sick knowing he spent x amount of dollars at a chain store (which he would’ve done) and the ring isn’t worth half that. OR he could have gotten a better deal online on a comparable ring. He isn’t too tech savvy and doesn’t understand ordering online, lol. Plus once I found moco/asha and the amora gem I was in love and you can only get them online! 

Proposal will still be a surprise and that’s fine. I have no idea when he is thinking. But we also live together and are pretty much married. The ring isn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. 

Post # 12
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Me and my Fiance designed mine with a jeweller friend. I wouldn’t have had it any other way, and my Fiance was relieved because he’s clueless about that kind of stuff and would have felt anxious having to pick one himself.

Post # 13
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016


AshleyK1225:  There are no set rules. Traditionally he picks it and blah blah blah, but let’s face it- some men don’t have a clue about timing/rings/traditions. They aren’t taught that growing up and some won’t ‘figure it out’ by themselves.

My now Fiance told me years before we got engaged that he would be giving me a piece of string when it was time then we’d go shopping together or I could tell him what I wanted (very specifically aka not at all romantic lol). So when he came to me and told me he thought it was time we got engaged, I came to him with a couple ideas and styles. He didn’t like some and we were able to choose one then we started a custom ring together. I stepped out and he made all the final decisions, he picked it up without me know and surprised me with a proposal. People get all bent out of shape but what if your partner genuinely doesn’t have a clue? I didn’t want to be engaged without a ring or with a piece of string..

Post # 15
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Wentworth Country Club

My fiancé proposed with my promise ring, and then we went and i picked out the ring i wanted.


It worked well for us because the proposal was a comete surprise which i loved, and i still got to pick out my ring. I’m the one wearing it so he wanted to make sure i loved it:)

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