(Closed) Pick your own ring?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
4238 posts
Honey bee


No correct answer. Pick it or accept what he gifts; your finger, your choice.

I essentially picked mine, even though he was standing right there in the store, looking sweet, and completely clueless about anything beyond recognizing that 1. it was a jewelry store and 2. we were looking in the bridal section.


Post # 17
429 posts
Helper bee

My fiancé asked what style I liked so I told him, but I never chose anything specific. He picked the size, quality, & band. He actually knew a lot more about rings than I did! I like to be surprise ๐Ÿ™‚ plus it means a lot more to me that he picked something he liked. 

Post # 18
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We are custom designing mine together and I’m very glad because while I picked out the basics that spoke to me, he has an eye for design that I’ve never seen previously and has really taken the design to a new level. 

Post # 19
183 posts
Blushing bee

I picked it and paid for it. I had a job while Fiance was in gradschool. IT took me forever to find a ring I liked. I am indepened woman and I can buy my own damn ring and flowers. We both decided to get engaged we both want to work and be there for our future kids. We are partners and it is 2015 for freaking sake! 

Post # 20
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My husband told me that he wanted me to pick my ring out because our tastes are VERY different. He didnt want to pick something that I wouldn’t like or have regrets about. He said that “it’s going to be the ring that I will have to look at everyday” so he wanted me to love it and wanted me to be excited every time I look at it. We went the custom route with my ring and I am over the moon in love with my ring! I could never imagine changing it or upgrading the diamond because I designed it to be exactly what I want to look at everyday and it really personifies me and my personality. It is so uniquely different and creative just like me! 

There is really no right or wrong way to do things, it needs to be a mutual decision between the two of you. 

Post # 21
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am SOOOO fussy about my jewellery and clothing, I don’t like ANYONE buying me clothing or jewellery. I used to feel panicky thinking that I could possibly be given a ring I did not choose for myself and then have to wear that ring for the rest of my life! One time my husband was admiring a friend’s ring. Personally, I thought the ring was hideous, so it scared me that he actually LIKED that ring. So later (not in front of our friend) I said to him “You know, in case you ever might be thinking about giving ME a diamond ring someday, and in case you really liked her ring, just so you know I really did NOT like that ring. I didnt like the style or the color of the gold.” My sweet guy promptly replied “Don’t you worry. One day when I propose I’ll take you to the jewellery store and you can knock yourself out picking the ring of your dreams…” And 2 years later he did!  WHEW!

Post # 22
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

i designed my ring. my Fi is very particular about everything and wanted to make sure i had exactly what i wanted for years to come. we went and shopped around together. At first i wanted a white gold floral halo with a round diamond in the middle. Then we shopped around some more, and upon entering the first store to actually HAVE a pear, i saw her immediately and knew i wanted a pear. I kept going back to her and couldnt get over the rose gold either. We went a third time, and we both liked this 2 ct morganite in rose gold that was an OVAL.

So this confused us both LOL quite the drastic difference. Long story short, I became OBSESSED with the barely pinks moissys from schubach. He narrowed them down to an oval and a pear, and let me pick which one I liked. I chose oval at first because I knew that was his favorite and thought the beauty of the gem would dazzle me into loving the shape as much as the pear, but I had her less than a couple of days and exchanged her for the pear! 


ALSO. His sister is a super amazing person, and happens to be a jeweler. So I was able to get my perfect halo pear ring made for me!

I am so happy I did. And I am so grateful to have a partner who loves me despite being a complete PRIMA DONNA. 

Post # 23
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My Fiance and I looked a rings once, about a year ago, so that he could have an idea of my taste.  However, when he was prepared to propose, he took one of my friends that was well versed in jewelry shopping, and he proposed with a ring that was more elaborate and expensive than anything I picked for myself.   I love it, and won’t trade it because the fact that he thought enough of me to give me better than I chose for myself is a big deal.

It just depends on what matters to you more.  I love telling people I had absolutely nothing to do with choosing my ring, and he blushes everytime someone gushes about it! I love seeing him so proud.

Post # 24
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Darling Husband proposed with a necklace because he knew I’d want to pick out my own ring! He knows me so well ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 25
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I picked out my own ring and I love it. We went shopping together and pick it out together. Whatever you two decide to do is what is right. It doesn’t matter what other people think. 

Post # 26
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

i picked out my first ring(a cheapie since we were broke.), and i wouldnt have had it any other way. the style Darling Husband had chosen for my promise ring years before was awful so i knew i had to lol

Post # 27
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

My fiance proposed with a ring he chose all on his own, and it was nothing like anything I would have chosen. But he chose it with me in mind, and I’ve never seen anything like it! I love it, it’s like he knew what I wanted even better than I did ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 28
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I don’t think there is a “right” answer to this. I really think it depends on the couple.

You might not believe this, but I’ve heard stories where the woman got offended because the man asked what type of ring she would like. She thought he wasn’t putting enough “effort” into picking out a ring for her. 

For myself, I would have been happy to go ring shopping with my Fiance, but he wanted to pick the ring out for me. I just told him what I like (round or oval morganite, small diamond accents, thinner rosegold band), but basically left it up to him to choose the ring. I let him decide so that he could choose something within his budget. It also helped to have a pin board of some ring designs. ๐Ÿ™‚ 


Post # 29
733 posts
Busy bee

We picked it out together. Originally I think he assumed that he would get me a round solitaire, because that’s what everyone we knew had. But I really dislike round diamonds, so once he heard that, he wanted to do it together. He wanted me to have a ring I liked, and it was really fun doing it together. I love those memories. And the proposal was still very special.

Some women want to be surprised, but on the other side of the coin, what if he gives you a ring you hate? There are a lot of posts here from women who are disappointed in their rings, and I have to admit, some of them are really bad. That would be a difficult way to start an engagement.

Post # 30
368 posts
Helper bee

No set rules but I find in this day more women are giving their input. The way I see it if im going to wear a $10000 piece of jewelry the rest of my life you probably want to love it. This was my fiancé concern. He otiginally wanted to surprise me but got so stressed picking out the ring haha. I just told him the style I liked and he did the rest. 

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