(Closed) Pick your own ring?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Amanda905:  +1 

I mean, really, that’s exactly how Darling Husband and I felt and we do let people think he did it on his own. My Darling Husband proposed and we went ring shopping the following weekend. He knows my taste and we looked at some pictures together, but it’s still hard to guess what the other person will love, especially when that person is me! lol We picked the ring out together. I love my ring and that my hubby knew me well enough to let me pick it out.

Post # 32
Member
5 posts
Newbee

My boyfriend and I have been talking seriously about getting married and I know he is going to propose next year. We went and looked at rings together because I really needed to see styles on my finger. I thought I wanted a princess cut with a halo, and when we went to the store I found this GORGEOUS pear cut with a halo. I was instantly swooned and couldnt stop smiling or feeling giddy. He is saving up for the ring now.

If we hadnt gone together, I wouldnt have found my dream ring and I might have been stuck with something that I actually didnt feel crazy about. 

Post # 33
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

I’ll be designing mine with some input from my SO after he proposes.  It’s really important to both of us that I am 100% in love with the ring. 

Post # 34
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

You’re the one who has to wear it for the rest of your life. I know exactly what I want so I’ve told my bestie who will tell my boyfriend when he’s ready to shop. I wouldn’t be able to wear something I hated. We have very different tastes too. 

Post # 35
Member
6272 posts
Bee Keeper

AshleyK1225:  well hed be a pretty crazy (or brave) man to pick something other than one similar/same as the ring he knows you’re crazy about (assuming the style you like is in his budget). 

Post # 36
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

A proposal for me would have never been a surprise. I met my SO when we were 17 and even back then he told me he was gonna marry me someday. Someday has now turned into April 2017. πŸ™‚

I think each couple needs to decide this on their own. We do what works for us and we’re happy. You don’t need to tell everyone every little thing you do.

My SO and I are semi-hermits so we’re just on our own lil mish together πŸ™‚

I didn’t really ever bring it up. I mean, I’d comment when we saw someone else’s ring but nothing like GET ME THIS. Oneday my SO said – I want to propose to you ‘soon’ (his soon could be a year for all I know) – show me what you like. What basically happened was each time we were at the mall or something we’d pop into a shop and try a couple rings on.

Turned out that I loved certain aspects of rings – he was the same.

So a few weekends ago, he took me out to lunch then said he’s taking me to a jeweller. Once we were there I realised he had booked a consulation and we designed my dream ring together. I let him take the lead on some of it – for example he was the 1st to suggest a 3 stone setting cos he liked the meaning. Thankfully I love that so we’re going with something like that.

So yes – I know what my ring will essentially look like. Do I know when he’s going to officially propose to me? No. Will I be surprised? YES.

I actually thanked him the other day for having the sense to consult me cos I don’t wear much jewelery at all and I think it was special to do together.

That being said – IRL, no one but my parents will know that I knew what I was getting. They don’t need to know.

He also told me that he knew jack about rings so me being there took some pressure off πŸ™‚

It worked for us. We made every decision together – I don’t see why this should be any different.

Do what works for you though πŸ™‚

Post # 37
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

We picked my original ring together, but it had to be returned because FI’s hours at work were cut so he coldn’t afford the payments, so now I have a stand in that I picked out, but I’ve also picked out what I’m going to get once we can afford it.

Post # 38
Member
11574 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Up to each couple! I looked at rings with Fiance and showed him about 13 that I liked. They were different styles but they were all classics, which was his preference as well. I had a lot of sapphire rings in my list but he wanted a diamond, so he found something that made him proud and he knew I would like and that’s what he did:-) 

Post # 39
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

Honestly I HAVE to talk to my SO about very major decision in our life, and I couldn’t imagine not talking to him about what I like/dislike in rings. As for “picking it out”, I’m a VERY picky person and also a very frugal person. I would MUCH rather he know exactly what I like and how much I’m comfortable with him spending than for him to go solo and get something outrageously expensive that I wouldn’t even like (not that I wouldn’t accept it, I love him very much, but who doesn’t like getting what they want ;D)

I know plenty of people who got exactly what they wanted by hinting but didn’t get to pick the actual ring, and that’s great for them, truly! For a while I was happy to do the same, and came up with a ton of guidelines and specifics and I was going to leave the final decision to him… BUT I ended up cracking and we had a nice conversation about the specific model that I loved and ended up deciding together that it’s what he would get for me eventually πŸ™‚ Honestly, he told me he was relieved and asked a bunch of questions about ettiquette for who buys the wedding rings or if he had to have that too to propose (he’s pretty naive lol), and now he knows exactly how much he has to save up.

It worked out best for us to decide together exactly what we liked, but no shame to the couples who let their guy go at it alone πŸ˜‰

Post # 40
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I picked out my ring. I felt if it’s something I’m going to wear the rest of my life I should love it, and my fiancé didn’t feel strongly either way. And it made it easier for him, to not try and have to decide what I’d like. Especially since what I initially wanted is nothing like the ring I actually fell in love with. 

Post # 41
Member
896 posts
Busy bee

I picked out my own ring. I come from a culture that never really had the tradition of proposing on one knee. With us its a mutual agreement on getting engaged and getting our parents blessings to do so. After that I guess it’s personal if the guy would have had a ring picked out for her or the couple would choose it together. I personally would’nt want him to choose my ring because I am a perfectionist and I have a certain taste, and I have seen so many girls unhappy with their ring and feeling ashamed to ask to change it up, that makes me a little sad.

It’s also super cute for the guy to have went and worked hard on choosing a perfect ring to surprise her. I guess I see both as normal. As long as there is honesty between the two and they know what they want that’s all that matters πŸ™‚

Post # 42
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

I didn’t want a real diamond so I picked mine out 100%. He wanted me to be happy with it. The proposal will be all up to him. I suppose it’s just personal preference, I don’t feel that I “need” to let it be up to the male just because most of society does it that way. Some don’t care about what it looks like and are more happy knowing he picked it out with you in mind. 

Post # 43
Member
7 posts
Newbee

As others have said, either is fine. I think society tends to prefer the proposer choosing it as a surprise, usually based on some subtle hinting from the proposee. However, I think there are plenty of situations where choosing together would be preferrable for the specific couple. My uncle divorced years ago and proposed to his new girlfriend, also a divorcee, on bended knee with a Tiffany bracelet he knew she wanted. Then they went ring shopping together. He decided to do that so she could still have a “proper” engagement ring, but so that it was different from the first time either one of them was in this situation. I think thats thoughtful and sweet to make it special.

Post # 44
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

My SO has ADD. Asking him to go to a jewelry store to look at rings sounds like hell on earth. It’s much safer for me to just pick it out and he’ll pay for it and propose in his own time. He turns into a toddler that gets into everything and throws tantrums. 

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