(Closed) Pick your own ring?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
1060 posts
Bumble bee

When my Fiance asked me he didn’t have a ring. He said I know NOTHING about diamonds so please pick out whatever you want (had no budget!!). He knows I research EVERYTHING and trusted my choice. 

I picked a beautiful diamond and setting. He wrote the check and all was good. 

My ex-husband gave me a ring that was not my taste (even after talking about it). I still loved it none the less. 

Thank the lord my Fiance granted me the power to pick what I liked!! 

Post # 47
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I am the one that is going to have to wear it forever, so I wanted sooome say. The compromise was he would pick one setting from five that I liked. 

Post # 48
59 posts
Worker bee

This is my 2nd engagement. I chose both rings.  The first time, there was just no way he would have come up with anything close to what I had wanted.  The second time, I thought I knew what I wanted but after we were at the shop the sales person brought out something completely different that I fell in love with.  I was glad I got to choose, since I am the one who will be looking at it most often!

Post # 49
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I picked out my ring and have no regrets about it. I think it’s nice for the man to pick it out if that’s his kind of thing, but my Fiance doesn’t know much about jewelry and wanted to make sure I got what I wanted. It worked out great for us. 

Post # 50
4238 posts
Honey bee

niemalna:  what a sweet story, an engagement bracelet, love it!

Reminds me of a friend who got an engagement car. Their religious beliefs ruled out jewelry so he got her a car to show her his intent to provide for her. 



Post # 51
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

He never bought jewelry for anyone before me. When we started talking about getting married. We went shopping. Which was not as fun as I thought it would be. When we made it very clear we were only looking. Some where not as helpful. 

Even though I am not “engaged” yet. I am happy we looked. The rings I thought I loved online. Didn’t even make me smile on my hand. 

The ring I hope he gets me is perfect for me. Yellow gold and white diamonds. The moment I walked up to the case. That was the first thing I seen. The first one I tired on. I fell in love. I have tired it on some many times in different stores. I found two others to give his choices. But we both know which one has my heart. Just now waiting …. 

Post # 52
1703 posts
Bumble bee

We went ring “glancing” a few months ago and I gave him some ideas of things I liked…a couple of weeks ago, he decided he really wanted more input from me…I know he is perfectly capable; however, this will be my “forever” ring – I don’t plan on “upgrading” or “re-setting” down the road (I am VERY sentimental) …he said he wants me to have EXACTLY what I want…

I was engaged years ago and my fiance gave me a huge, expensive ring…while it was beautiful, it wasn’t my taste and out of the gate, I felt like it said more “look what I can afford” than anything…I was never sentimenally attached to that ring

I am really happy this time around, we are going together..I won’t be there when he ultimately purchases it, but I know I will love it and I am so excited!!

Post # 53
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to this. Peronsally, my bf and I have been together for many years (our 7 year anni was in March) and we also just moved from MD to CA in the last year. This meant not only living together for the first time but also combining our finances….ahhk! haha It’s actually been going great! After many conversations where I volunteered all my preferences, we sat down and decided our budget TOGETHER, but I was actually the one start start saving specifically for it! We all have our strengths and it turns out mine is saving. Once the fund matched our discussion I handed it over to him and we picked a local jeweler based on online recommendations. We met with him, as a couple 5 times. During those meetings I picked out the pink sapphire I wanted (there is such a huge range when it comes to gemstones) and talked about the setting: thickness style, overall look;I brought in pictures of rings I liked. BUT that’s where I stepped out. I didn’t see any CAD drawings or specific design options. I know my bf has it and now I am just waiting! 🙂 

I am sure there are people who wouldn’t have wanted to be that involved, but for me it just made the e-ring all the more special. For starters, I am really going to have an appreciation for the ring and what it takes to save for an item like this. I think it’s easy to ‘”need” a big ring’ but it’s another to understand what someone did to give it to you. My bf and I went through the learning process together (for both diamonds and sapphires) and, if nothing else, was just somethign fun to do as a couple. A large part of the fun was knowing we had ALREADY PAID FOR IT by saving BEFORE WE STARTED SHOPPING. I would encourage you to not ‘charge’ an e-ring. Plus, having a budget is a super important part of the process anyway- so be realistic! Ok so sorry this turned into a mini financial planning class, that just turned out to be a larger part of it than I think lots of girls realize (myself included at one point! even though it seems obvious).

Anyway, I havn’t actually gotten my e-ring yet but I have really enjoyed being able to do this w/my bf and he has said many times that he really wants me to LOVE everything about my ring and therefore basically wanted me involved as long as I was ok with that. Sorry for the essay, it’s just that I am right at this particular step. Love 

Post # 54
1424 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I picked my own. My Fiance asked me to look at what I liked to give him an idea but while doing my research I found the perfect ring and wouldn’t want anything else. I showed him and he said if that was the one then that was the one he would buy. There was no point in him picking something else when we both knew that was the ring I loved and wanted.

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong as long as both people are happy. 

Post # 55
127 posts
Blushing bee

I think it’s so sweet when the guy picks out the ring and the woman is all surprised.

But in my case I didn’t want that lol. I wanted a ring I sincerely loved and not one I had to make myself like .

Post # 56
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I let my Fiance pick my ring and trusted him with his choice. I’m sentimental and would put more emotional value to the ring if he picked it all on his own (though TBH i did have doubts on whether he would pick something that i’d love, lol). Plus, I think that if the guy fully pays for the ering, it’s his right to pick it out on his own since an ering is a proposal gift from him to you (unless he lets you choose it of course).

Post # 57
2471 posts
Buzzing bee

No rules. I picked out my own ring, hated it before I left the store, had it reset, still hated it, never wore it.

THIRTY EIGHT YEARS LATER, Darling Husband goes into a local jewelry store to get the battery in his watch changed, sees a blank in one of the display cases, and tells me he thinks I should have my diamond reset.

I did, and I love it and wear it all the time.


Post # 58
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I think either way is fine, it’s ultimately up to whatever works for the couple. I didn’t go with my fiance to pick out the ring but we had a few conversations, I told him what I would love as an e-ring, and he had it custom designed. 

Post # 59
106 posts
Blushing bee

We designed a custom ring together, and I’m so happy he knew me well enough to know that I needed to be involved! Some girls want a total surprise but that’s never been my style and our relationship is so close he couldn’t imagine going through the ring selection without me. He wanted to make sure he got me exactly what would make me happy. I didn’t want to know the budget, so our jeweler juggled the secrecy of the budget with my involvement in picking diamond and setting. I chose to get an expensive designer ring that costs about the same price as the 1.03 center diamond; if he had gone by himself, he would have focused on carat weight and gotten a 2ct diamond with a simple, affordable ring. We both feel relieved that we went through the process together. I don’t know exactly when or how he will propose because I told him I wanted everything else to be a suprise. Also, his proposal will be the first time I’ll actually see the final ring (since we customized the ring) so it will still be a “new” experience! 

Post # 60
436 posts
Helper bee


AshleyK1225:  I like what I like.  I wanted something non traditional, and he understood that and let me pick my own ring.  I couldn’t be happier and now, the only person I can bitch at is myself 😉

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