Post # 1
As a background, my finance and I are choosing a wedding date based on a ski trip as a honeymoon. This means either a winter wedding or an August wedding and ski in the southern hemisphere. I’ve always wanted an outdoor wedding, so that would mean an August/early September wedding. My cousin (has been engaged for 1-2 years) just set his date for mid-August. The venue that I really like only has the weekend after his wedding, or labor day weekend available. Either of those weekends kind of seem like bad etiquette, am I over thinking this?
I feel like if I choose the date I want, I get the location, the honeymoon, but might not get all of the people I want at my wedding (some family with be travelling for both). If I choose labor day, I get the location, the honeymoon, but might not get all of the people due to travel expenses. If I change the date, I get the location, the people, but not the honeymoon.
Any insight on if it would be bad etiquette to set my date a week after my cousins?
I know there’s mixed opinions on holiday weekends as well, any opinions would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 2
I think the cousin issue depends on a lot of factors: how close are you and your families? Are both weddings in the same city, and are they also in the same city as most of the family who will be attending both? If you would be making family travel a long way twice in a month, I would consider that. Will your cousin be on his honeymoon during wedding and would you care if he missed it?
I personally would not mind attending a labor day wedding, as it is not a holiday where I usually have special plans. But I know for a lot of teachers or people with kids, it can be a tough time of year. I had to nix labor day for my wedding because 3 niece/nephews are all starting different colleges this fall and SILs and BILs would be busy moving them in, etc. A late August date presented the same problem, though.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
Are you against delaying the honeymoon? You don’t have to go *immediately*. I wouldn’t pick the week after if you think your guest list will overlap a good bit. Labor day would be the better choice of the 2, i think.
Post # 4
It’s not bad etiquette to have your wedding close to a friend/family member. With that said, you aren’t really being mindful of the guests who would like to attend both weddings. Wouldn’t it be heartbreaking for one of your aunts or uncles to decline either yours or your cousin’s because they are too close together and he/she can’t afford both?
As for holiday weekends – I’m not a fan of weddings over long weekends. And still, labour day is the first weekend of September, so if your cousin’s wedding is mid-August, you are only leaving 2-3 weeks between the two. I’m sure you’ll have the same situation as above with people not being able to attend both.
Do you have to take your ski vacation honeymoon right after the wedding? Why not have a Fall wedding, and go skiing in the new year? Or have a spring wedding and go skiing in August?
Post # 5
My wedding is Labor Day weekend. I just plan on sending save the dates and invites a little earlier than normal to give people enough time to save/plan. I would go with Labor Day weekend 🙂
Post # 6
I’m not completely against moving the honeymoon to a later date, but the preference is right after getting married taking a little vacation with just the two of us. I think of a honeymoon as something that happens right after a wedding, anything after that is a vacation. Which, I’m not saying that a special vacation, is a bad thing, just not quite the same. But it might be worth pushing it back in order to have everyone I want attend the wedding.
Most of my family is within driving distance (still overnight/weekend trips), but there are a couple that would need to fly (4 to be specific). I’m considering talking to those that would need to fly and find out if they’d be interested in a week long vacation, and attend both (both in the northeast), since I know asking them to come back 2 weeks later is asking a lot.
Post # 7
I would go with Labor Day weekend. People have an extra day off, well most of them. Plus it’s not usually a big holiday like July 4th or Christmas. Just speaking from experience, two of my cousins had marriages with a week of each other. Due to travel, we could only go to one, and went with the one we knew about first. I felt bad, but it just wasn’t feisble for us.