(Closed) Picking (and not picking) a MOH (sorta long)

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: One MOH, two MOH, no MOH?
    One MOH : (2 votes)
    9 %
    Two MOHs : (4 votes)
    18 %
    No MOHs, spread the duties amongst all the bridesmaids. : (16 votes)
    73 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    18643 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    You could make both of them the Maid/Matron of Honor since they both seem to care about it.  I have seen a lot of weddings with 2 Maid/Matron of Honor.  I hope you can figure something out so everyone is happy!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I would stick with the decision to not designate a specific Maid/Matron of Honor, and divvy out the duties. Maybe for the two girls who are really interested in the role, you could ask them what they would be most exicted about doing (toast, signing as the witness, etc.), and let them have that special duty.

    I didn’t pick a Maid/Matron of Honor either, but I only had 2 BMs so I just made them both Maid/Matron of Honor.

    Post # 5
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would stick to your first decision.  Make each of the girls feel special and let them know that they are all wonderful and you had a hard time picking just one as Maid/Matron of Honor.  If each girl gets a specfic task for the wedding then they will feel that they are truly helping you on your special day.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4465 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Just stick to your original plan.  I’ve never liked the idea of having 2 MOHs.  FI’s brother is having two best men in his wedding and no one is happy about it (no offense to anyone who might do this…it’s just innapropriate in his particular situation)

    Post # 7
    Member
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think 2 MOHs is an ok arrangement, but you say all four of these girls are equally important to you. I think the best solution would be to stick with your original decision.

    Post # 8
    Member
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Stick to your original decision and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about the decision.  That is the best piece of advice I’ve gotten from the hive, and I have to tell myself that often.  It is your wedding and the decision is yours. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’d say no MOHs.  You picked each of them as bridesmaids, so they know that you care about them and want them to share your special day with you. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1207 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I agree no Maid/Matron of Honor.  It would be different if you had like 8 or 10 bridesmaids, but with only 4, they should know they are special enough to you to be included.  I like the PP idea of asking each one of them why they would want to be Maid/Matron of Honor so you can give the duties they like/want to do to them.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4480 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    I would stick with no Maid/Matron of Honor… otherwise your other two BMs might feel left out. Unless you want to call them all Maids of Honor and just do exactly what you were already doing. 😉

    Post # 12
    Member
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I am having a Maid/Matron of Honor and a LOH (Lady of Honor) and no bridesmaids. I couldn’t pick either, so I just made up my own way to solve the problem. For you, I would have two MOH’s and two Bridesmaids. And you could still divide up the tasks.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I am having only 2 bridesmaids – my 2 sisters, and won’t pick between them to have a Maid/Matron of Honor (although the youngest sister thinks I should just designate the other sister as Maid/Matron of Honor because she is more “into” the whole bridesmaid thing) … They are just splitting all the tasks and I will literally flip a coin for who will witness the certificate that day, the one who doesn’t witness will stand right next to me during the ceremony.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    If you don’t want to pick, then don’t. If all you have is 2 attendnants, then it doesn’t make sense to call them both MOHs, since that implies that there is more than one attendant and you are giving one a special honor. Your guests won’t be offended in the least if you don’t pick a Maid/Matron of Honor.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I have been to plenty of weddings with more than one Maid/Matron of Honor.  I actually have a friend who is having 4 attendants and THREE of them are MOHs because she couldn’t choose for the same reason.  They were all friends from different parts of her life, and she felt they should all have it for different reasons.  There’s nothing wrong with having 2 MOHs. . . but it seems like your major reason for not having one is because none of them live near you?  If they both want to do it, and want to help, I would just say go for it. You’ll get their help, they’ll be happy. 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Maybe if you phrased it as they are all your maids of honor, instead of none of them are?  Honestly, there are no duties that necessarily go with being a Maid/Matron of Honor or a Bridesmaid or Best Man, other than showing up and wearing the hideous dress.  So, if you want help from them, talk with each of them about what duties they are willing to perform, and work from that, instead of worrying about the titles.

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