(Closed) picking bridesmaids

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
536 posts
Busy bee

If it’s one thing i’ve learned from this so far is do what you really want and don’t worry about hurting people’s feelings. So much easier in the end, no matter what someone will have a complaint anyway. So you may as well be happy with what you’re doing! I think maybe you should pick one sister and maybe one or two friends… or both sisters and one or two friends… because you have to (edit– not have to, but should consider) pick those whom you’re the closest to also, I think having only one sister might be harder than having only 1, 2 or none of the friends.

Post # 4
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My Fiance wanted more groomsmen than I wanted for our wedding, but he told me that he wanted each of those guys up with him in the church, so big wedding party it is. I think if YOU want to have all the girls (or just a few of them) up there with you do it and don’t worry about the size of the wedding (no one will think its odd).

If you choose to have less, you could think about finding something else for the remaining ladies. (ie a reading, or perhaps give them a gift like a bridemaid to say your happy they are their for you).

It’s also possible that it could end up being drama free, I’d imagine most women understand that it can be difficult to choose the bridal party.

Post # 5
19 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s your wedding! You can have however many bridesmaids you want.

Post # 6
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I personally don’t think 100+ guests is considered a small wedding, so feel free to go with seven bridesmaids if you want.

Post # 7
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I only had one of my sisters (out of 2), and I don’t think my other sister was hurt; I think she knows that I am closer to my other sister.  We then had one of my husband’s sisters (out of 3, again the one I am closest to).  I also was worried about picking friends, because I have such different groups…high school friends, college friends, and grad school friends.  I ended up just asking one friend, and didn’t have anyone from the other groups.  If anyone said anything, I just said we were having a small wedding so we wanted a small party, and that my husband only had 3 guys to ask to be groomsmen and I wanted it to be even (a little white lie that never hurt anyone).  I also would say things like “yeah, our wedding party is so small, I’m not even having both of my sisters!”…friends can’t really be mad that they were left out if you didn’t include a sister.  

Otherwise, I would consider just having the one sister and no one else.  

Post # 9
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@fromthestart:  I think if your Fiance doesn’t like some of the bridesmaids, that’s worth considering.  however, I think the breakup shouldn’t impact your wedding.  I’m in my friend’s wedding in a few weeks, and one of the BM’s just broke up with one of the GMs (not on good terms), and its fine as long as they can be mature about it.

Post # 10
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think you need to ask yourself why you can’t pick between your friends. Try not to focus on who expects to be in your wedding party and don’t let that be the deciding factor if that makes sense. Ask yourself who you are really close to and also who you expect to stay close to in the future. You could always tell your sister (the one you’re not close to) you are having trouble deciding and ask her how she feels about being in your bridal party since you aren’t that close, and also how she would feel if she wasn’t a bridesmaid. However when it comes to your friends, don’t let them make you feel bad.

I found it easy to choose my 3, but REALLY hard to choose a maid of honour.I felt like no matter what I did, someone would get hurt. I’m annoyed with myself for not thinking about it more before I was engaged and for allowing people to assume who I would choose. I also considered having a 4th bridesmaid but realised that it would have meant choosing between my college friends, and I think those girls would actually have more fun at the wedding if they all got to sit together and none of them were singled out. The last thing I wanted to do was make a statement about which friends I love the most… but choosing bridesmaids kind of forces you to do that :(.

Maybe you could have one sister and your 2 high school friends, or one sister and 3 college friends. Unless you can genuinely say you’re closer to 2-3 friends from the different groups. Good luck! I’m still stressing over Bridesmaid or Best Man choices and I had no idea it could be this stressful! Make your decision and then move forward without feeling guilty. This is your day.

Post # 11
3674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I had that issue too. We had a 30 person ceremony so a larger bridal party just wouldn’t have worked. During a conversation with my friends, one of them mentioned that they’d be wearing a pink dress for my wedding (my fav. color) and I just had to flat out say, I love you guys but it’s a small wedding so I’m only having family in the wedding party.

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