Post # 1
My FI and I really want to use someone we know to officiate our ceremony, having a friend or family member get officiated online. I’ve looked into the legality in my state/county, and there is no issue. We are not religious at all so there is no pastor we would use, and we don’t like the idea of a stranger up there with us.
My issue is that we are having trouble picking someone. We thought of one option, a friend of FI. He’s good with words and used to being in front of a crowd, and would be a good fit for the job in general. The only issue I can think of is that I don’t know him all that well. I mean I’ve met him a number of times in group settings and like him well enough. But I doubt I’ve ever had a one on one conversation with him; I actually probably know his girlfriend better because at group stuff I’ll end up talking to her while the guys are talking about whatever. I’m afraid people would think it’s an odd choice, or he might feel awkward about it (like would feel bad saying no but not totally comfortable with it). Also I may be totally overthinking this.
Basically I just don’t know if it’s weird to ask someone to officiate unless they are close friends with both the bride and groom. Thoughts?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We chose one of Mr. LK’s best friends who lives 2 hours from our home and I barely know. It meant a lot to Mr. LK, and I was cool with it. As far as I know, no one thought it was weird (note: I really didn’t care what other people thought about our officiant choice in the first place. So even if they thought it was weird, it was their problem, not mine.)
Post # 4
We are having a friend of ours officiate. I would say definatley he is close to my FI. I’m friends with him, but I wouldnt say terribly *close*. we picked him because he is also our DJ for the reception and is used to speaking in front of people all the time. He has a nice loud voice, a good personality, and that was really our only criteria.
Post # 5
@Kit_Kath: well you have a whole year to get to know him. you, your FI and him will be planning the ceremony. it will be a good time to get to know him better.
My Officant is my ‘circle sister’ and is obviously closer to myself then to my fiance. BUT, she has been to the house on multiple occations and my FI does know who I am talking about when I mention her name. She knows that I want my FI to feel comfortable around the person marrying us and so when she comes to the house she makes pleasent talk with him and tries to make herself as inviting as possible (IN A TOTALY APPROPRIATE WAY!).
You have a year. Thats enough time to make friends.
Post # 6
We are actually tossing around the idea of *two* officiants after seeing something similar at other weddings 🙂 I want my best friend who is a talented writer to do it, and we both would enjoy his uncle officiating as well. Both are hilarious and charming and I think would compliment eachother.
Is there someone you have in mind from your side? It might be something to consider 🙂
Post # 7
Please be wary when you do this. I’ve posted in the past about how I selected a friend to officiate our ceremony – he ended up taking the money, turning into a diva and ordering us around. Needless to say, we chose someone else, lost out on money, and eventually, ended the friendship over it. Listen to your gut. Do you or your fiance see any juncture at which this friend could cause you problems?
My brother ended up officiating our ceremony – I’m *so* glad that we did it that way. Have a back-up ordained and ready to go for the big day. You never know who might get ill or who might pull some crap, no matter how long you’ve been friends or how close you are. We were both fairly close with our friend.
Be very clear and upfront about what you want. I just wanted our officiant to read off what we had selected – basically, we just needed someone to be a speaker and to sign our marriage license. Though I told our ex-officiant that, it either didn’t register or he didn’t care, as he started telling us what he was going to do for the ceremony. Never asking, of course.
When he continued pulling his crap just 6 weeks out from the wedding, I gave him a polite firing and my brother did the ceremony. Worked out perfectly.
Getting to know the person, their style, and trusting them is very important. Does he strike you at all as the type who would start trying to dictate? In retrospect, there had been times that our friend did and said things that should have clued me into the problem we’d have at the wedding. I didn’t listen to my gut.