(Closed) Picking my own ring.. is this normal/ok?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
5006 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2018

I picked out my own ring, but some men want to pick the ring out themselves. It’s not abnormal to pick out your own ring, but you need to talk with your boyfriend about it. He may feel strongly about choosing it himself.

Post # 4
8879 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@tintedrosie:  I picked out my own ring. We were shopping together and I found one I loved. He wanted me to have the one I loved, easy peasy!

Post # 5
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

Uuuuh, I am totally in the same boat. I found a ring that I personalized and sent him the link and said: I want that one.

I think there is nothing wrong with showing your SO exactly what you want. It would be the same thing if SO told me he wanted a guitar; I wouldn’t just go out and buy any old guitar, I would make sure it was exactly what he wanted. 

And you’re right something you’re going to wear for the rest of your life, and there’s nothing wrong with having a very particular taste. 

Post # 6
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I picked my own ring too and couldnt be more in love with it!!

Post # 8
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

On the bee, it’s really normal! Among your friends, it may be uncommon.

What my Fiance and I did was that he slowly phased in the e-ring experience as light browsing together all the way to showing me CADs for my feedback (he decided to design it himself). I let him take the lead on it. See if your SO will take the lead on soliciting your feedback. If he doesn’t, do like my Fiance did and start first with gently broaching the topic, and assuming it’s going well (he’s receptive and initiating the topic too), leading up to giving him a clear hint of the one you’d like. That way you don’t bowl him over with deciding for him with what he may feel is traditionally his role alone.

Post # 9
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@tintedrosie:  i gave my Fiance very specific directions (oval solitaire with a thin band) but didn’t specify anything about size or quality because i didn’t know the exact budget he had in mind. He picked something gorgeous and knowing what to expect didn’t make his proposal any less special. I never felt strongly about “it’s a sign if he guesses exactly what I want.” Good luck 🙂

Post # 10
5006 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2018

@tintedrosie:  I felt sort of the same way at first, but it’ll pass. It ends up being SO much easier and less stressful on you both that you forget it’s breaking tradition. Plus, you can still have a huge surprise proposal and know what ring he’s putting on your finger. 

Post # 11
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It’s fine to show the guy the ring you want, as long as it’s in his budget.

Post # 13
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I picked my first setting and my new upgraded one. As long as you are both good with it, that’s all that matters!

Post # 14
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I feel it’s perfectly okay to pick out your own ring. I didn’t pick mine out because he never asked for my opinion but if he would have asked I would have given him exact specifications 😉

There is nothing wrong with knowing what you like, specially if he is willing to listen. Why not get something exactly to your taste. I was pleasently surprised with my ring, but I’ve known a few friends who have not loved theirs. 

Once you get that ring, you won’t even think twice about you directing his decision

Post # 15
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think as long as you discuss it with your partner, and he is fine with it (he may feel strongly about doing it himself), then go for it!

I picked my own engagement and wedding rings. My Fiance really didn’t know what he was doing and he didn’t want me to end up with something I hated! I found a beautiful ring that we both liked.

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