(Closed) Picking the ring: How did YOU tell him what you wanted?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MissCalifornia:  Once we talked about getting engaged, we just went out ring shopping together. I tried on several rings and made a top 3 list and he picked from that!

Post # 4
Member
4041 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

we were out looking for a watch for me and he started pointing at rings – solitaires pretty much. I kept looking at watches and made maybe 1-2 comments about how I’m not a solitaire girl (my BFF has one and she’s competitve). The next place we stopped was a shop that specializes in antique/vintage jewelry (we were looking at an antique Rolex for him) and he said “I always thought you’d like a vintage ring”. I said “yes, I would”

That was the only ring conversation we ever had. Ever. 8 months later he proposed with the most beautiful ring ever.

Not much help, sorry πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Couple of ideas:

My best friend and I talked AT GREAT LENGTH about what she wanted in an engagement ring. I eventually shot her boyfriend an email saying “I know H’s tastes are really unique. If you’re ever in the market to buy her something big like jewelry, let me know and I can totally help!” *I* knew he was going to propose soon and I’m sure *HE* knew *I* knew… but doing it that way gave him an in for asking me for help without me pressuring him. He did ask when the time came and I helped him narrow it down to a few rings, from which he picked her Ering on his own.

I posted a few Erings on my PUBLIC Pinterest board. This was not for my SO’s benefit, but I did notice he saved a couple (thankfully, my two favorite!) on his phone. Woot! I tried to talk to him about moissys (which I really really want)… but he wasn’t as excited as I wanted him to be. I guess we’ll work on that. πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I took all a few of our female friends who are friends with Fiance to the store to see “the ring” with me. They got a good idea of my style and my dislikes (no princess cuts!)  As suspected, he asked one of them and  and I got a ring thats better than I ever anticipated. I think it was a great way to do it πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

he asked me too and i told him i had no idea so he took me ring shopping at robbins brothers because of their large selection so i could figure out what type of settings I like, diamond size and color. etc. it was fun!

Post # 8
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i would send my best friend pictures of rings i liked and mentioned to him that if he was ever curious he could ask her about it (without me knowing).  when it got closer to the time that he was really ready to ring shop, i looked around on etsy and favorited rings that i liked to show him.  (only a few though, so it was easy for him to decide) luckily, he picked my favorite! 

Post # 9
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We went ring shopping together. He was anxious about being able to pick out something I’d like, and we both didn’t mind having me pick it out myself. So I looked at a bunch of rings, showed him a few for his opinion and then picked out one that we both liked. 

Post # 10
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was very straight forward with Fiance. I knew he knew that I loved classic solitaire rings.

But I had my heart set on a round 6 prong setting. I knew if he got me a round diamond, with 4 prongs, I would be a little sad. (Yes, I realize I’m a little crazy tp be so concerned over prongs…)

So I told him flat out one day, “Babe, I really like 6 prong settings. They look more round. I really prefer them over 4 prongs.”

And that’s exactly what he got me.

Sometimes I feel bad that I “took away” his experience of ring shopping because I was so straight forward. So I asked him about it, and he said he really appreciated it because he knows me and he knows I would have had my heart set on a very specific thing. He liked that he knew exactly what to look for.

And he said if I hadn’t told him, he would have gotten the same thing – except probably four prongs, or a princess cut. So I am glad I told him πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MissCalifornia:  Well, when we decided to get engaged formally (we’ve known we wanted to get married since about 3+ years ago, but never announced it) I just started to look at stuff online with him. I noticed that we have completely different tastes (I like vintage, he likes modern). I didn’t trust him to pick anything I’d like because his best guesses for what he thought I’d like were way off. So one day, randomly, i went shopping by myself and found something. Although it’s not terribly romantic, I told him I found one I like, go get it.

 

Oh! But actually what he did on his part was sweet. When I told him I wanted it he said he’d think about it and supposedly he never went to get it. He surprised me with it one morning. 

Post # 12
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I sent him pictures of every ring I found online that I liked, for MONTHS! He said he really enjoyed seeing what I liked and never got tired of it. Eventually he picked one, he likes classic solitaires and I like bling so he got a solitaire set with side diamonds.

Post # 13
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

Subtle hints don’t work. Obvious hints don’t work. Even a pile of clues may not get you what you’re asking for (it might, but it’s not always the case).

I told him straight up. You don’t have to be rude or pushy but you can show him a pic and say, “This is the one. It has everything I could ever possibly want and I think it’s gorgeous.” Being straight forward becomes even more important if you have particular tastes. If you couldn’t care less, communicating a general idea would be fine, but since you are particular I’d be safe and just be direct.

 

Post # 14
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This might be goofy, but I am logged into pinterest on my SO’s iPad, and he knows how to navigate it. I have a ton of rings saved on there, and I just casually mentioned one time that I had a board of rings that I liked, so if he needed any inspiration, he should check it out.

He totally did.

We have since talked at great length about rings and we have picked out one together, but this was an awesome way to break the ice into the potentially awkward conversation.

If you did something like this, though, one thing I would be cautious of is having too much variety in your rings that you have pinned. Before I told him about it, I had all sorts of different ring styles on there, but it just made it confusing. I then picked a specific style that I knew I wanted and only pinned rings that looked like that style. I even pinned a few rings that I hated and wrote “I HATE THIS BECAUSE…” on it, so he would know not to get me something like that πŸ™‚

This might not work for everyone, and I think I read on another board of yours that you two are LDR, so obviously the “log in on his iPad” thing won’t work, but maybe you could make a list of ideas or even give him your pinterest password if you’re that bold. It sounds super controlling, but my SO assured me that men like it when we give them ideas. Apparently it is very stressful for a man to pick out a ring without any indication of what you want!

Post # 15
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband prefers straight forward answers over clues and hints. He knows I have particular tastes and instead of guessing and getting me something I like he’d rather I just tell him what I love. Which is how we got my rings. I picked them out and we bought them!

If you’d prefer that he choose the ring himself then I would e-mail him a list of specifics to use as guidelines. Such as metal color you prefer, stone shapes you DO NOT want or are particularly fond of, if you like vintage looking styles or clean cut and classic, etc. Then he can use those things you tell him and by process of elimination find a ring for you! Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We have an open, candid relationship and we probably communicate more than most people we know (we’ve been told this). So with that in mind, prior to even him proposing, I had been buying wedding magazines. I would just show him pictures and go “How about this one? Do you like this? Oh, this one is nice.” Then we started seriously looking at rings IRL and finally we picked one out together. Since it was a custom piece, he picked up it and decided on the proposal portion.

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