(Closed) Picking your bridesmaid

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@infinity092813:  I just chose my sister (maid of honor…I never actually even formally asked her, it was just assumed, we always knew we’d choose each other), my best friend for over a decade since middle school who has stuck by my side through thick and thin, and my cousin who is my age and we grew up spending summers together. My rule was that I wanted with as much certainty as possible to look at my wedding photos 20 years from now and still know and love everybody in the bridal party. [His side is his brother as best man, HIS best friend for over a decade, and my brother whom he’s gotten fairly close with]

Post # 5
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I chose best friends/ future SIL but honestly my bestest friends are not the most reliable.  So maybe if I had it to do over I’d pick a few more reliable friends.  But we’re riding this one out…do or die! LOL

Post # 6
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I am going to be choosing both of my Future Sister-In-Law and his SIL. I will also be choosing 2 of cousins who I was close with my whole life and my best friend from college. I know I can count on everyone to help me make the big day special and also they will always be in my life which was also important to me.

Post # 7
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I chose my sister as Maid/Matron of Honor, future sister in law, and my three closest friends.

Post # 8
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

i choose my sister who i am closest with

i had a hard time choosing between my sister and best friend but i ended up choosing my friend for a few reasons including my sister didnt include me in her bridal party, when i showed her the ring and told her i was engaged she said that nice and continued with whatever she was doing. she was super late to our engagement party

Post # 9
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m choosing my closest friends – the ones who I feel have been there through thick and thin. My Maid/Matron of Honor is the girl I call my BFF though we’ve only known each other 5 years. She was actually the one who really pushed me and Fiance to get to know each other in the first place, so it’s perfect! My other bridesmaids (planned) are:

– friend known for 5 years from work

– friend known for 5 years from grad school

– friend known for 13 years from high school

– friend known for 2 years (colleague’s wife).

One of my bridesmaids (the girl who I’ve known for 13 years) chose hers according to who she has known the longest + those she felt would not forgiver her for not being “picked”. LOL. I was choked to find out that two other girls she’s friends with – NOT as close of friends as we are – will be in the wedding party simply because she’s known them since childhood. But, I understand. And I appreciate that she thought I was mature enough to forgive her for it. She didn’t think they would be so understanding if they had been excluded.

That all being said, my personal preference is to go for the girls you really *want* standing by your side, not the ones you feel should be there because they saw you in diapers. But that’s just me 🙂

Post # 10
Member
7759 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Closest friends. In fact I had them picked out about 10 years before: my sister, and the girl who had been my bestest friend since we were 10. I had a 3rd girl in my mind who was a nice but non essential choice, but Darling Husband only wanted two groomsmen.

Post # 11
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I chose my older sister as Maid/Matron of Honor because I was pretty much forced too. I chose my littler sister as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, who I really wanted to me my Maid/Matron of Honor. I chose my SIL because it was my husband only sister and if I didn’t his mother would murder me. I chose my closest girl cousin because I love her to pieces and she has always been more of a little sister to me and my sisters than a cousin. I chose my best friend of 20 years and another friend of 15 years. They both have been there fo rme through everything and could not imagine getting married without them by my side.

I never once thought “Oh, am I sure I was so and so as my BM? Because she’s a tad overweight? Or my sisters because they might look prettier than me?”

I chose who I loved most and who I was threatened to have haha.

Post # 12
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

1. My sister

2. His sister

3. Best friend from high school

I could have stopped there (FI has 3 GM) but I couldn’t stand to leave out…

4. Best friend from college who loves planning

5. Best friend from work who is amazingly supportive

Post # 13
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m choosing the people I want to make listen to wedding talk the most. (Think of it as compensation for listening to details they don’t care about.) Aka my closest friends. My sister is too young and we aren’t close she she will be an usher with my brothers.

Post # 14
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Word to the wise – Pick people you absolutely know you can absolutely trust and rely on.

 I’ve already lost 2 bridesmaids –

 one I “fired” because she didn’t show up to our engagement party when she said she would, and i tried contacting her the day of…she lied and said she fell asleep and later there were pictures of her on facebook on the beach with a bunch of people! psshht!

the other was more a mutual separation, when it came time to order dresses and i was trying to contact everyone she would never return my texts/calls. finally, i decided to have my mom call her, and she answered for my mom and said everything was fine and she’d go. then she texts me right after saying she wont be able to get the dress, she doesnt have any money cause she has bills and is saving for her cousins wedding. after trying to come up with multiple alternatives for her, i just came out and asked her if she really wanted to be in it and finally the truth came out. she did not, for financial reasons. though i can understand not having the money to be a part of a wedding, all the undeserved stress she put me through when she could of just told me the truth was completely unappreciated.

So girls, choose carefully!

Post # 15
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I chose my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor, and I’m asking a good friend from my childhood (we’ve known each other over 25 years now), and another friend who I’ve known for a few years and has really had my back over the past year or so.  My sister said yes, and I know my childhood friend will say yes.  However, I am concerned about my other friend saying yes because of financial reasons.  We were going to ask her, and her husband to be in our bridal party, as well as their two kids to be ring bearer and flower girl.  However, I know they don’t have a lot of money, plus the wedding will be two hours away from their home.  My fiance and I are going to offer to help pay for their outfits, so I’m hoping they say yes.

Post # 16
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

My sister and his 2 sisters. I didn’t want to have to pick between friends. I kind of cheated though because our officiant is my best friend/our roommate/friend of his too, so I kind of have a 4th bridesmaid. I joke that she can wear whatever she wants but she has to talk in front of people. He has 4 Groomsmen, so we’re mismatched. But he couldn’t think of a reason to pick 3/4 other than keeping numbers even, and we decided that’s no reason to slight a friend.

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