Post # 1
Oh bees. I know this is sort of a regular mantra with me and please forgive the long post. I could use some kind words and encouragement for something that I know rationally is really sort of absurd, but emotionally I’ve got a lot of anxiety over. I’ve struggled with body image my entire life (it doesn’t help to have a family who disapproves of how I look). And I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. I lost 40 pounds about a year ago, then had to go on a medication that helped me to gain back 20. So I’m sort of halfway back where I started and have been feeling kind of down on myself for months. I also got married at this weight.
I haven’t really taken pictures of myself since I was…12, maybe. I kind of have a phobia when it comes to seeing myself in pictures. So I did a boudoir shoot about a month before the wedidng, got the pics back, and made myself go through them–there were some shots that I thought I looked pretty good in and some I couldn’t bear to look at (“is that MY body?? Seriously, I’m THAT heavy??”). But I thought hey, I’ve seen myself nearly naked on film, what could be worse than that?
And then the wedding pics arrived today and I’m STILL kind of freaking out about looking at them. I’m sort of dreading it. I know this is a bit of a moot point because it’s inevitable I WILL see them; I’m more dreading the possibility that if I hate the way I look in them, the self-loathing will settle on me like a cloud for the rest of the week and I’ll get all depressed. REALLY don’t want to have to deal with that. They’re waiting on the coffee table until Darling Husband gets home, but any help with the anxiety? Anyone else deal with this?
Post # 3
Maybe wait and go through them together with your husband? He’s bound to love pretty much every photo, and perhaps his enthusiasm will temper any critical feelings you have about how you look.
Post # 4
I get pic anxiety too. You are not the only one. Just open it up and hope for the best. You only need one good pic of the both of you to display.
Post # 5
I think going through them with your husband is the best idea. Even if you don’t think you’re beautiful right now, he does. His reactions to the pictures and the memory sharing you’ll do will make seeing them a more positive experience.
Post # 6
We are all critical of ourselves in some way, but you need to look past that and remember what these photos represent. They represent the love and happiness from a day when you were married to a wonderful partner. Don’t forget that!
Also – not every photo will be great, but there will also be many great photos! Just because you have a few unflattering shots doesn’t mean they will all be like that. I’m sure you will find many wonderful images from that day and will be happy remembering everything that happened! Don’t worry too much, and if you want some support, wait until your husband gets home and go through them together.
Post # 7
Yeah, I dealt with this too. When you first look at them, you might not be super happy with some of them – I wasn’t. I was mentally nit-picking them all – thinking that my hips looked too wide or that my hair looked weird, stuff like that. The more I looked at them, though, the more they grew on me, and I started seeing the happiness in my face and my husband’s face and that made it a lot better. It will be ok, I promise!!
(I should add that our photographer was great; my issues were all in my own head)
Post # 8
It’s so unfortunate that WE are often the worst critics of ourselves, especially when it comes to body image. And not knowing what you look like, I feel like I can say without a doubt that the photos you have will be beautiful. They’ll be beautiful because they capture a day that (I’d imagine) is extremely important and special for you. And what will come through is the joy, and love, and happiness, and all the wonderful things of the day. And all of those feelings make anyone look radiant and beautiful, on TOP of whatever natural physical beauty they already had going for them. 🙂
I agree with teaandtoast that looking at them with your husband may be a good way to go. I think him, more than any of us, can really speak to the beauty that will be in the photos, that you may not be able to see.
And if all else fails, you can post the pictures here. 🙂 I know you’ll get a rush of support from the community and people telling you how beautiful you look.
Post # 9
Thank you so much bees! I DO plan on looking at them with Darling Husband (he’d probably kill me if I looked at them without him), but I feel a little more confident knowing people have felt the same way and lived to tell about it! The support on this board is amazing.
…Still probably going to go get myself a small glass of wine, though 🙂