Post # 1
First off: This is not a problem for my FI or myself. I promptly deleted all photos of me with my ex after I met my now FI. I felt no connection to them, and they served no purpose in my future. There are no pictures of my FI with any ex’s on his Facebook page, either.
But, I have noticed with Facebook friends, there are some who are in long-term relationships who still have pictures of their ex’s on there. I think it’s kind of weird.
Do you have pictures of your ex’s on your Facebook or other social networking site?
Post # 2
I have been with my husband for longer than fb has been in existence, just, so this is a non-issue but it wouldn’t worry me. We both have photographs with exes in them but we fully accept that our past is part of who we are now. The only time I would think it ok to basically delete your past is when it was an abuser.
Post # 3
Similar to j_jaye I have been with my FI longer than I’ve had a Facebook, so this was a non issue for me.
But I have friends with pictures of their exes and usually the excuse is that they dont think about it, and have forgotten they were even up. Most people dont go through their old photos on Facebook enough to think about it.
I think if your breakup was bad photos will usually get deleted right away while the hurt is still fresh, but other than that I think most people dont think about it.
Post # 4
I actually found some of my ex the other day. I thought I had deleted them, but unfortunately, people tag me in things and I forget to untag myself. FI took all of his off, but they were causing issues because the ex would keep commenting on them and it would show up on my page, due to mutual friends. I miss the good ol’ days of being able to burn them. :-/
Post # 5
FI and I deleted all phothis of our exes off fb, me because I felt it was the right thing to do and him because a mutual friend pointed it out about 4 months into the relationship. He hadn’t thought about it before then. I would feel disrespected if he still has the. There, the same way I would if he had photos hanging up on the walls of the two of them. There are photos of both of us up still with exes in group or family pics and that doesn’t matter to me, just the cuddly couple ones. We both still own photos on our computers and photo albums as they are private and that doesn’t phase me. More of an I don’t want my grandma asking who the girl in the fb picture is.
Post # 6
nessdawwg: I’m impressed your grandma is on FB 🙂
I deleted mine sometime after break up, when the time felt right and it was cathartic to ‘clean up’. I like keeping hard copy photo albums, and whilst I can’t bring myself to destroy ALL photos of vacations etc, I generally only keep landscapes etc as a reminder of the place. SO doesn’t use FB that much, but I wouldn’t really appreciate seeing those photos of him, I can’t imagine he’d like to see my exes either.
We were friends for a long time before and even met each other’s significant exes – so whilst we are not under any illusions we both have had past relationships, we don’t really need images of it in our future.
Post # 7
Like pp, no cuddly pictures, but I’m sure there’s some buried in there somewhere. We’ve been together 4 years so you’d have to dig pretty hard.
Post # 8
oh DH and I fought over this all the time. He didn’t have any pictures on his page but he was tagged in his exes photos and after the first time I asked it became a problem because he knew how I felt and never untagged himself saying “I forgot” or “I never go on there” and in his defense that’s still true today. Eventually it caused a huge fight and he untagged himself.
I was only that upset because this girl was coming up to our work to see him and the pictures were all of him groping her or captions that said “he loves my boobs” with him staring at her chest or them making out etc.
it really sucked just knowing those pictures were on his page.
I couldn’t delete the photos of one of my exes because its my childs father BUT I made a separate folder and set it to private and moved them there. He was a narcissistic abusive a hole that I don’t want to think about so I did that for me, it just happened to be after meeting DH because I didn’t even think about it until later when i started using the site again.
I accept my husbands past, doesn’t mean I want to see it or he wants to see mine.
Post # 9
Yeah I definitely have old pictures on there ofme with an ex. I just never went back and looked at them/deleted them. Plus, it wasn’t a bad breakup and was like 4 years of my life! It would feel weird to just delete most of the pictures from 4 years of my life, especially since some were from really awesome trips. Deleting it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I have not had any contact with my ex since the breakup though. DH still has photos of him and his ex (I think they are still on there, anyway), and it doesn’t bother me. Neither of us are threatened by it or ever think about it really.
Post # 10
It’d be way too much effort to go back and delete a bunch of old pictures… I couldn’t be bothered. So yes, I have pictures of my ex on facebook.. I wouldn’t see the point in erasing them, my past is my past, why delete it.
Post # 11
Like other posters, I’ve been with FI longer than Facebook has existed! (Well, the same length of time actually but I didn’t join fb until a few years later)
With friends though, it seems to depend how acrimonious the split was although the really lovey dovey pics get deleted regardless!
Post # 12
Willow90: DH and I have been together about as long as facebook has existed. He’s the only relationship I’ve ever been in according to facebook.
There are some high school pictures up that have me and an ex – usually at a formal or something and there are a couple of prom pictures of me and my highschool bf.
I see nothing wrong with it, they’re the past, but the past is part of me. If DH had an issue with it I’d take them down or remove the tags if they weren’t mine. I’m not even sure I’m tagged in the pictures.
Post # 13
I had a FB before the FI. I didn’t go and delete all the pictures……but I definitely untagged myself from them. I untagged them way before dating FI because the breakup with this other guy was a weird one, and I didn’t really want my profile to be connected to his.
Post # 14
I only had one ex since I got facebook. Initally, I just changed my profile picture and relationship status and left it at that. After a couple months, I noticed that my ex had untagged himself in any photo we were together in, so I just went ahead and deleted (or untagged) them all from facebook and unfriended him and all of “his” friends. There were a lot, we were together over 6 years. I still have all of the photos from my camera somewhere on my computer, but I deleted all traces of him from facebook. It was actually kind of therapeutic, like I was getting rid of him for good.
Post # 15
This has been a major point of contention in our relationship. I remove all photos of exes after the breakup; I haven’t had many nasty breakups but I’m a firm believer that once a relationship is over, its over. I don’t need photographic proof posted everywhere, I don’t need to talk to you and I don’t need to see you. All ties cut.
My SO, however, refuses to remove pictures of his ex from his facebook. I did basically force him to untag himself in a few because I felt it wasn’t appropriate to see pictures of him and his first love all cuddly on his facebook page, just a few clicks after photos of us.
His reasoning is that he doesn’t want to delete his past. I try to see it from his point of view but I don’t get it at all. Your past is your past and it belongs there, not in the present – that’s what memories are for. I think its super weird that he keeps the photos up there. Makes me wonder if his feelings for her ever really died or if he still harbors some.