(Closed) Piercing a baby's ears.. child abuse?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

It’s common in my culture but I think a girl should be old enough to decide for herself if she wants to hang shiny trinkets from her ears.

Thankfully, my mom was on the same page re: consent to bodily modifications. I got my ears pierced as an older girl, at 8 years old. It hurt but was an exciting event. 

I kind of wish my parents knew what I know now, that reputable tattoo parlors are better places to get piercings than jewelry shops at the mall since these people take body modification more seriously and generally have more knowledge and experience. One of my ear-holes is crooked and the other has some scar tissue around it. If DD wants to get her ears pierced, I will find her a tattoo parlor!

Post # 32
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I personally don’t care for it and will wait for my daughter to ask (as my parents did). But thinking it’s abuse is ridiculous 

Post # 33
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

How large of a spectrum is child abuse in your opinion, then? My mom used to dig splinters out of my fingers with a needle and I certainly didn’t like it–is that abuse? A lot of kids scream and cry when they get shots–is that abuse? By throwing around the term child abuse you are undermining and making light of actual abuse.  

Post # 34
Member
2645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2007

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bridetobe2018 :  I really wish it was illegal for babies/toddlers/really young kids to get piercings. I do not think parents have the right to modify a child’s body for cosmetic reason. It grosses me out so much that people actually do this, even worse that they’d go to a place like Claire’s to have it done. 🙁 

Post # 35
Member
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think it’s child abuse. I took my daughter and got her ears pierced at 4 months old. She cried for less than 5 mins and was completely fine after. I got my ears pierced when I was a yr old and I was always glad that my parents did it when I was younger so I wouldn’t remember.

Post # 37
Member
616 posts
Busy bee

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bridetobe2018 :  I think it’s a barbaric practice and a source of unnecessary trauma. Child abuse—I’m not sure it’s quite to that threshold, but it’s something that makes me ragey to even hear about secondhand.

I’ve never seen a young boy forcibly have his ears pierced which also makes it seem worse.  Forcing pain upon a toddler to make her more culturally beautiful/feminine is disgusting and exactly the kind of antiquated practice that should be in a history book instead of practice.  

Post # 38
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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bridetobe2018 :  But if you felt the child was being abused why did you stand by and not say anything? You said you wanted to interfere, so why didn’t you?

 

Post # 39
Member
2645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2007

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bridetobe2018 :  I think a lot of people would agree it’s abuse if it wasn’t already so widely socially acceptable, it’s hard to see something common as “wrong”. If I dragged my 9 year old into a Claire’s and held her still while she screamed “no! Stop! Don’t do this, I don’t want to do this” and forced her to pierce her ears, most would agree that would be abusive. A small child’s lack of vocabulary doesn’t make it OK. 

Post # 40
Member
1195 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Wow. I can’t believe people are equating ear piercing with getting a shot or a splinter out. Sure, kids cry during all of those things- but one is a completely optional cosmetic procedure. I had my ears pierced when I was old enough to remember and it didn’t hurt a bit- age 12 at my pediatrician’s office. So I don’t buy the “have it done while they’re young enough to not remember the pain” excuse. 

I’m not sure I’d call it “child abuse” but I definitely don’t think it’s ok. I wish places like Claire’s would change their policies to not pierce kids’ ears until they’re old enough to understand what’s happening to them and give their consent. 

Post # 42
Member
7807 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I guess it depends. Is giving a child/baby a tattoo okay? Piercings besides ears? Ear piercing, even the first hole, is a body modification. So if a person believes that another person’s body belongs to them and that they are allowed to decide on the designs placed on it or the holes made in it, I guess there are no laws to prevent them. But in my mind, my child’s body does not BELONG to me. It is entrusted to me for a short while to keep him or her healthy, but it is not mine to modify. Just because society says that one body modification is legal while another is not doesn’t make it right. I cringe when I see children with their ears pierced.

Post # 43
Member
735 posts
Busy bee

There have been times when my kid screamed her head off when I tried to brush her hair. Is that abuse?

Post # 44
Member
1195 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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wonderwedding :  A child needs to have their hair brushed on a regular basis, in order to avoid it from being helplessly tangled in the future and requiring more pain to get it untangled. 

Ear piercing is completely optional. 

Post # 45
Member
10390 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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bridetobe2018 :  

I think ‘child abuse’ is  perhaps a tad too far , but it is a very wrong practice to my mind , cultural or not . ‘Culture’ has  always been the validation to practice pain and discomfort on girls and women. People tend to use  the term  as if it were some utterly immutable  thing which came  into being when the earth cooled down instead of what it is, ie the customs, practices, rules and regulations etc put in place  by the ruling groups/sex/religon/ethnicity  of any society  . 

Not in the same league, but I also hate those damn headbands you see on  (usually hairless  ) girl babies . Everyone who matters  already knows she is a girl so why the hell need it be advertised  to strangers via an uncomfortable tight scratchy headband round the temples .

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