(Closed) Piercing a baby's ears.. child abuse?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

My kids aren’t my accessories. Putting them through pain so I can adorn them with cute earrings is utter nonsense to me. 

I do think it borderlines on abuse. But it’s socially acceptable because it’s “cute” to some people. I don’t get why tattoos are a no no but piercing is. And why only ears? 

 

Post # 47
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

I don’t agree with piercing kids ears either. I was 13 when I got mine done. It was a grown up thing I had to wait for. The day of my 13th birthday I got them done.

Post # 48
Member
951 posts
Busy bee

A 2/3-year-old child is NOT a baby. Also it is completely ridiculous to consider this child abuse in any sense of the word. 

Post # 49
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s fucked up imo. Whatever label you want to put on it. 

Post # 50
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
mrsmay07 :  interesting perspective. I’m 100% against the practice, but thought calling it abuse was too far. But you’re right, if an adult took an older child for body modifications against their will, that definitely sounds like abuse to me. 

There was a story the other week about a girl that had her hair cut off against her will while she was with her dad/step mum and that was widely called child abuse. 

I guess the intent matters too. I don’t think anyone is piercing their babies ears to hurt or punish them, which is where a much clearer line for abuse sits. 

Post # 51
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

Yes, the situation you described is abusive. If it was an adult holding another adult down and forcing them to be pierced while they screamed and tried to get away, it would be called ASSAULT. It’s absurd that because it is a child, it is viewed as acceptable. It’s fucking not. 

Post # 52
Member
10397 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

A 2/3-year-old child is NOT a baby. Talk about missing the point…..

Post # 53
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Wow as someone who works in healthcare and has had a firsthand view of TRUE child abuse (babies with broken bones, blood vessels in their eyes burst, brain bleeds) I find this question absurd. I had my ears pierced as a baby (few months old) and am glad I did. Babies cry when painful things are done to them (vaccines etc)…it does not make them abuse. 

Post # 54
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Uhh just because there are more severe forms of abuse doesn’t make something else not abuse. Just saying. 

Post # 55
Member
3945 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

No, it’s not child abuse. Parents make decisions for their children for several years until the child is old enough to vocalize their wants. Also, you have no idea of the events that led to this child screaming. Perhaps the child wanted to get their ears pierced and got cold feet at the chair? I even remember watching a vlog on Youtube last year (maybe?) where the daughter begged and begged to get her ears pierced – and then screamed and cried in the chair and left without them. Once the gun is already loaded with the earrings the parents have to pay for them, so perhaps the parents did not want to leave without completing the process. 

Personally, I wouldn’t be piercing my child’s ears. It’s just one more thing I would have to take care of, so I’m not really into it. However, several of my friends did it. Their opinion – the younger the better. This little girl above was obviously old enough to understand what was happening and was scared. I do think her parents should have listened to her and perhaps halted the piercing, but in the long run I doubt she’ll be traumatized. Though not exactly the same, kids are terrified of shots, but parents still make them get them. It’s a pinch, several seconds of pain, and then typically it’s done. Ear piercing as a whole is NOT the overly painful or traumatic practice half this board is making it out to be, so it is not as if this girl is walking away from the scenario seriously scathed. 

Also, just my two cents: Abuse is indeed a spectrum, but you’re distorting the whole act of getting your ears pierced. She didn’t have her arm lopped off for the sick enjoyment of her parents. For all you know the child will be thankful that her parents pierced her ears when she was younger. Did you stay behind and see how the child was doing after the process?

Or did you just checkout, cast judgement, and leave?

Post # 56
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
mdbee :  the piercing isn’t the abusive part. It’s the holding her down while she screams and tries to get away that is abusive. It may not warrant a trip to the hospital or a call to CPS, but it is most definitely abuse. 

Post # 57
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Either you believe a child has the right to bodily autonomy (within the necessary limits of health and safety)–to say no–or you don’t. “You don’t have to hug Grandma, but you do have to hold still while I punch unnecessary holes in you” doesn’t make any sense. I don’t care if you call it “culture,” or “So cute!,” or “I get to do what I want to my kid (until CPS gets here),” but I am impressed by the general resistance on this board to call punching holes in a screaming child “child abuse.” It’s wrong, whatever you call it. 

Post # 58
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee

It’s wrong, but child abuse is a legal term. 

Vaccines are inapposite. You do it to help keep them and the community around them safe from diseases that could maim or kill them. Pierced ears are cosmetic and serve no health benefit to the child nor her community. 

Post # 59
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
elderbee :  I would like to point out that my hair didn’t grow in until I was 1-2 so I looked like a boy. I wore Cute hats, dresses and headbands.

Guess what.

People STILL THOUGHT I WAS A BOY. 

So I would like to disagree with you there. 

Post # 60
Member
4873 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
Kaymar :  I had my ears pierced at four or five. In my culture it was the norm and TBH I went to a culturally diverse school and the majority of the girls had pierced ears by the time they started school. 

It’s not child abuse and I find it interesting that people would even think that. Its a  pinprick sized hole in an earlobe in which you can choose not to fill with an earring as an adult if you dislike wearing earrings so much. 

I have fantastic parents who would do anything and sacrifice themselves for their kids. To judge their ability as parents and morals on the age I had my ears pierced is pretty laughable to me. 

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