(Closed) Piercing a baby's ears.. child abuse?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 61
Member
640 posts
Busy bee

I got my ears pierced around that age and they immediately got infected so that was an awesome memory. 

I oppose parents forcing a body modification until the child can speak for themselves. I got my ears re-pierced at 14 when I could make the choice for myself. It hurt a bit (since it was actually done by a family member who just re-opened the original holes with a seam ripper [don’t worry, he has a medical degree and everything was sterile/safe] rather than an employee with a piercing gun) but my pain threshold was much higher at 14 than at 3.

I don’t know if we can call this “abuse” in the legal sense of the word but it certainly doesn’t sit well with me.

Post # 62
Member
951 posts
Busy bee

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elderbee :  Yet I addressed the point in the next sentence. undecided

Post # 63
Member
951 posts
Busy bee

Child abuse comes in all shapes and sizes (unfortunately) but piercing the ears of a baby or toddler is not child abuse. In fact, it is completely safe, with extremely little risk of harm for piercings done at any age. It’s one thing to say you personally don’t like it and wouldn’t do it. It’s another thing to falsely call it abuse. 

Post # 65
Member
1970 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I was abused as a child and this does not constitute abuse. I hope that the bees saying it is have been abused so that we can verify if it is equal to being snatched by your hair and slammed on the ground because your mom had a bad day at work. Or getting hit on your knuckles with a wooden brush until they were swollen red because you didn’t do the dishes. Or being in the bath and getting snatched out and whooped with a leather belt leaving welts so bad you can’t sit down and have to explain WHY you can’t with lies at 8 years old. Sorry but some of you sound fuxkin crazy! If my mom getting my ears pierced when I was an infant under the age of 1 was the worst abuse I had to endure, my childhood would have been a whole lot better! I will say it against a child’s wishes when they cannot consent but it is not on a spectrum of abuse to me even with it being cosmetic. It is a quick pinch and doesn’t cause excruciating pain not emotional damage from what I’ve witnessed. 

Post # 68
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

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cmsgirl :  

I’ll say it again. It’s not the piercing that is abuse. Forcibly holding down a screaming child who is trying to get away so that you can pierce their ear IS ABUSE. Full stop. I have seen videos of very young girls having it done with little to no reaction – not abuse. You are fixating on the actual piercing and not understanding that a child was in distress. At a young age, they don’t know anything but how they feel in that moment, which, per the OP’s description, was utterly terrified and being forced to be put through pain by the person who is supposed to love and protect them. All for vanity. That’s fucked up. 

Post # 69
Member
1970 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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bridetobe2018 :  And I’m sorry you think ear piercings are abuse. It is a trigger for me and I don’t mean to come off rude but these things are not similar in any way. I WAS taken from my mom by the police and would have been in foster care if it weren’t for grandma. You should really consider how you approach these subjects when there’s victims of serious abuse. You can dislike it and disagree with it but throwing around a sensitive subject is a whole different level. Anyway, I am going to bow out now before other bees start swarming. Just wanted to point out my opinion backed with experience. 

Post # 70
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee

Bodily autonomy and consent are some of the most important concepts we can teach our children. It’s sad that so many people think that a child’s body is theirs to do as they please. Is there some reason to pierce ears that I’m missing? Other than “cute”?

I know it’s culturally normalized, but ear piercing *is* body mutilation. It may just be a pinprick hole to you, but it is permanent damage to another person’s body. Whether you think it’s cute or normal or no big deal or whatever. 

Just because someone is unable to give consent, that doesn’t mean we should decide for them (health and safety aside). Also, the basic rules of consent still apply for children. Just because a child may have agreed to something, they can say no and withdraw consent at anytime.

As others have mentioned, where is the line? Why are ears okay and not eyebrow rings or tattoos? Could I put ear spacers in for my toddler? 

Post # 71
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

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rosydelight :  unless, of course, the child is being held down against their will, screaming and trying to get away. I’m not against ear piercing, but there was more to the situation than quick pop on the earlobes. The kid was in distress. 

Post # 73
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

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mdbee :  

My ears were pierced when I was a few months old as well. 

As a woman who has survived an abusive childhood, I find it very distasteful and inappropriate when others label fairly innocuous customs as abuse. 

Post # 75
Member
10097 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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bridetobe2018 :  

I was also abused as a child.  By your reasoning, taking me to the dentist when I was a child was also abuse.  This was back in an era when getting fillings was damned painful. You didn’t get a local for fillings. I screamed and cried enough that my mother was ordered to give me tranquilizers before dental appointments.  Yet, would anyone call that abuse?

Not that I’m a fan of piercing baby ears.  But, it doesn’t rise to the level of child abuse.

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