(Closed) Piercing a baby's ears.. child abuse?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 76
Member
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

It is certainly not a reportable event for child abuse. However, I wouldn’t do this to my own child. 

My mom wouldn’t let me pierce mine until I was 6. It was my birthday wish and I squeezed my teddy bear during the procedure. I think at 6 it was reasonable for me to say ok. 

Post # 78
Member
574 posts
Busy bee

It’s not straight out abuse, but it is unnecessarily cruel. 

Post # 79
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I don’t know about child abuse, but I personally wouldn’t do it. I remember growing up without pierced ears and wondering why, but now I get it. For many years I wasn’t allowed to get it done, but did wear clip on earrings, and then when I hit my mid-teens my mom said I could if I wanted (and paid if it got infected, etc.).  I did make the choice to have my ears pierced when I was 17. I paid for it, and it really didn’t hurt. 

At my last job, my co-worker got her daughter’s ears pierced at 5 months old!! Why a child that young should ever need earrings is beyond me! I never confronted her about it (since she was a woman you did not want to mess with) but I knew right then and there that I felt it was wrong and that I would not do that to my children. Instead, I will follow my mom’s footsteps in letting them decide for themselves. (Same goes for circumcision)

Post # 80
Member
3013 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I used to work at Claires so have done my fair share of baby piercings. In the UK the baby must be over 4 months and had their immunisations. If a child is under 16 they need parental consent to pierce their ears. 

I hated doing young children for many reasons. The first was that it’s so hard to get the piercings level and as the child grows the holes can become uneven. 

Second the babies can’t consent. We had a woman come and pierce her son’s ear once. There was no reason we could refuse. 

In the case the op mentioned the staff should have done a double piercing on the baby, that’s 2 people, 2 gums and pierce at the same time. 

I don’t think it’s child abuse but it is mutilation and like all mutilation should only be done with consent (Just like circumcision is mutilation and shouldn’t be done without consent) 

i had mine done at 12 which I think is a good age as I’d been asking for years and was old enough to take care of them. 

Post # 81
Member
1840 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I live in a culture where this is the norm and don’t know what I’ll do if/when I have a daughter. Most girls have their ears pierced. My expat friends constantly have people thinking their baby daughters are boys because their ears aren’t pierced. The 6 year old daughter of my friend in a mixed race relationship (like me) has to face being different in so many ways and not having her ears pierced is just another thing that sets her apart from everyone else in her almost monogenous school. I wouldn’t want to do it at a few months but I’m not sure at what age it becomes acceptable. 

Post # 82
Member
30 posts
Newbee

If this was a little baby boy being brought in by his mother to get his ears pierced and he was screaming and fighting it or even wasn’t, you’d all think it was still okay as long as the parent wants it done? The point is a human being is being forcibly mutilated and has no say in the matter. I don’t care if it’s socially acceptable or not. If I had a child and she was screaming and crying, terrified and suffering like that for an unnecessary procedure, there’s no way I’d continue. It’s sick.

Post # 83
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

bridetobe2018 :  I wouldn’t call it child abuse but I also wouldn’t get my own child’s ears pierced until they were old enough to give informed consent. I didn’t get mine done until I was nine and I don’t feel like I was at any disadvantage because my parents made me wait a bit longer.

Post # 84
Member
611 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think it’s child abuse. I got mine pierced as a baby and I don’t even remember it, and I’m actually glad that my parents did it because i wouldn’t have the guts to do it till I’m 16 (i had my second ear holes pierced then). I just got my third earholes pierced last week and I was freaking out lol so I’m actually glad that I don’t remember the first experience. That’s one less piercing experience I don’t have to remember 

Post # 85
Member
5868 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Well it isn’t child abuse.

Post # 86
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

 Im not sure why ear piercings are questioned when circumcision is the norm

Post # 87
Member
9032 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

heatherlw :  Circumcision is not the norm outside of the USA and there are a multitude of threads on here about how it is mutilating a child.

Feel the same way about ear piercing as I do circumcision- if it is not your body then it is not your decision (unless it is medically necessary which circumcision sometimes is <but that is rare>).

Post # 88
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee

j_jaye :  yes! Completely out of the norm in Australia, and unless you’re in a major city you’d probably need to travel to get it done. At no point was it ever mentioned with my son and I doubt it’s performed in my region.

I absolutely feel the same way about circumcision as I do about ear piercing. Unnecessary body mutilation without consent. At least people sometimes provide slightly more justification than “it’s cute” for circumcision (not saying I agree with those justifications). 

Post # 89
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

It’s the norm in my culture. Girls have their ears pearced before they’re 3 days old, by a pediatrician, before they leave the hospital or birthing center. We all had it done, and I haven’t met anyone who regrets it. Even though it’s the norm I had a difficult time when it came to my daughter. I live in Belgium now and babies have to be at least 6 weeks. I waited untill she was 9 months old. She cried, my sister hugged her and that was that. I’m pregnant with baby #2 .I’ve noticed the older my Dear Daughter got, the more she cried, so if this baby is a girl I’ll do it earlier. I’m far away from my home and my people, and this is a small way to feel and stay connected.

Post # 90
Member
3013 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Mrs.Massontobee :  I have a good friend who is Mexican and she said that baby girls have their ears pierced in the hospital too. 

If you want them to cry less, do it later when they’re old enough to ask for it and understand what’s happening. 

Ive pierced hundreds of ears and if the child asks for it and really wants it they are much better about it being done. 

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