(Closed) Pity and jealously party for one please! (The size of a Book)

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am sorry you are going through a tough time.  All I have to say is *hugs*.  Really great that you and the FH are working through this together.  Sometimes we all just need to say our frustrations and cry it out.

Post # 4
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m sorry, it really is a tough time. 

Just remember you guys are doing the right thing and being responsible.  Having a baby now in a 1 bedroom place would not be fun. 

Start outlining some clear goals and celebrate when you meet them!  Hopefully it will make the process go smoother. 

Post # 5
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

That’s silly, there’s no rule that you have to own a home to have a baby.

We do own our townhouse, but it’s too small for us so we’re trying to get another house. We won’t find out until I’m about 8 months pregnant if we get it b/c it’s short sale. There’s a chance we might not get it, and then we’ll be stuck here. That doesn’t make us bad parents, that’s just life sometimes. There’s no perfect time to be pregnant and have a baby.

Post # 6
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i can understand that you’re frustrated, but saying that “the baby will cost them nothing” is so far from the truth. there are so many other costs related to having a baby, even if the government pays for all of the baby’s medical bills.

you’re doing the right thing by waiting until you can afford a child — you and dh’s life will be much easier. they have years of financial (and emotional) struggles ahead of them.

as for renting, who cares?! i live in a big, expensive city, so very few people i know actually own homes when they have kids.

Post # 7
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I can relate. One of the first people I told about my first pregnancy responded with “but you don’t own a home.” It just stung. Eventually, I stopped letting it bother me, but it kept ringing for a while. I’m sorry you feel stuck with this situation.

Post # 8
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011


I’m sorry you are going through this, it sounds like you really want a family sooner rather than later.

I grew up in rentals or apartments.  My parents didn’t buy a house until I was a freshman in high school.  guess what….I turned out alright.

Post # 9
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You don’t need a house to raise a child. An apartment is just fine. TONS and TONS of families are living in 1-2 bedroom apartments. Some of them can probably own a home but they chose not to so that there isn’t too much financial stress on them.

Try not to tell people when you are thinking of TTCing. It’s none of their business. Give vague answers: “We’ll see how it goes. Right now we got a lot on our plate. We haven’t decided when. When the time is right for us.” etc. etc. Not even close family need to know your TTC plans. That’s strictly between your hubby and you.

Post # 10
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


You do not need a house to have a baby. We are expecting and completely  maxed out in space in our townhome. BUT I don’t care! We are doing major spring cleaning next month to make room and putting things in the attic. It will be tight, but doable. You just have to get creative with space is what I am calling it.

 Think of people that don’t even have what you have. You guys have your sense about you at least you have a plan. All I can say is try not to compare your lives with others and don’t try not to let others get you down. I know this is easier said than done. It sounds like you have a strong support system right at home though, so that is worth a million times more than a big house.

I hope you find peace in this difficult time.

Post # 11
335 posts
Helper bee

Girl, do I feel your pain!

After I announced my engagement on Christmas Day 2009 my sister announced 3 months later she was expecting.  This devestated me as I’m the oldest of my sisters, first to get married, and just envisioned my husband and I to be the first to have a baby in our families.

Worst of all, she was pregnant by a guy she wasn’t with for even a year and was living in a run down factory which he poorly retrofitted for people to live in.  No heat, no residential windows, no place to raise a baby. He also refused to move them out of there once they found out they were expecting.

The important thing to remember is that while the intial satisfaction of being pregnant and having a baby might seem too good to be true, the lasting effects of a rash decision will be felt after the newness wears off.  My sister doesn’t have a supportive partner, is isolated in a town far from our family, and is literally impoverished.

It is easy to get caught up in anger/jealousy but the bottom line is only you and your husband will know when the time is right for you.  Best of luck, cause that time is coming quicker than you realize!

Post # 14
335 posts
Helper bee

Aww, that txt from your husband just warmed my heart!!

I don’t feel like I need to play catch-up but I definitely have a serious serious case of baby fever/blues.  Now when I see my nephew, or see my other friend who has a 6 month old baby I just get so excited and then when the baby visit is over I feel a little blue.   Seems so lame, cause I know TTC is just around the corner for hubbie and me but its hard when its what you’re waiting for in life!

I’m trying to focus on just preparing my body for pregnancy as much as I can. I’m a bigger girl so have told myself I’m taking 2011 to focus on me, my husband, my house and generally being as prepared as I can to bring a child into this world.  We both take marriage and family very seriously and are definitely learning from others mistakes!

Anyone else get the baby blues cause you’re baby crazy?

Post # 15
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

Who cares if people talk trash behind your back? I mean, they’re already doing it, so what’s the difference if it’s for a new reason later? I’m with the others that home ownership is not a requirement to have a baby. For some people, paying a mortgage is much higher than paying for a rental. Just because it’s the “American Dream” doesn’t mean it’s the right financial solution for everyone. Especially if you’re only going to live in a home less than 5 years. You’ll risk losing soooo much money, it would have been more responsible to have rented than to lose 40 grand if the housing market goes down when you need to sell! It is smart to wait til the hubs is done student teaching and gets a full time job. Besides, what if the one you find has better maternity coverage for you? That would be great!

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