- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
I need to vent.
I am so tired of planning my wedding alone. I know that I am not the only bride to do this, but I’m finding that that the people I was counting on the most are not there at all. Some of it is my bridesmaids. I’ve known both of them for almost 10 years now. We have always been there for each other. Always… Bridesmaid or Best Man A would rather be out drinking than telling me what dresses she likes. Bridesmaid or Best Man B has been over the moon excited about helping me with DIY things or anything that I needed, until I actually needed her.
I completely understand that everyone has their own lives, Bridesmaid or Best Man B is getting married in October, of course I know that my own wedding is the last thing on her mind, which is why I haven’t asked anything of her until now. I always make sure to tell her that if she needs any help with anything for her wedding, to let me know. I also feel like she’s been rubbing it in my face that her whole wedding is almost free while mine is costing thousands. She has a multitude of family members and family friends helping her with everything from the venue, to the food to the cake. It’s hard, because I’ve told her numerous times that I was jealous that she had that kind of help. She was with me when I bought my dress and she knows how my mom was the whole time (unsupportive, uninterested, talking about my weight, that my dress was too expensive at $600, that she hopes I would be changing my hair color because it looked awful…)
I read so much about brides who expect so much of their bridesmaids that their friendships end or change after the wedding, and I always said that I didn’t want to be that bride. I hope that I’m not.
FH tries to be involved and help when he can, but his job keeps him out of the house most of the time. He works all hours so making plans to meet with anyone hasn’t been easy. And honestly, he doesn’t care about half the things that go into the wedding. He tries, bless him, to be interested in flowers and centerpieces and invitations, but he can only take so much.
My mom tries to help, but she’s been so busy lately that it’s often hard to make time for things with her as well. She also lives two hours away.
I also feel like I don’t have anyone IRL that I can talk to. My BM’s are two of the three friends that I have, the other lives in Texas. FH doesn’t know what to say when I talk to him about it. My mom tells me that everything will work out and not worry or not to give up on my BMs helping me.
And honestly, I feel like in the long run, things will be fine, even if my BMs don’t help me at all. I’m just bummed. While Bridesmaid or Best Man B’s friends and family are all jumping at every corner to help her, I feel like I’m in this alone.
It’s all made worse by the fact that I started out alone, things got better and now they’re back to this.
That’s it. I’ll go put on my big girl panties now and focus on more important things.