(Closed) Planned Elopment & Registry: How to word without sounding grabby?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@1stRosie:  If they aren’t invited to your wedding, then they shouldn’t be given registry information. I completely understand about getting the discount off of registry items, so I suggest making a registry but not telling anyone about it. That way you can still use it and aren’t asking people to give you gifts for an event they didn’t attend.

I’d say the only way it would be okay is if you are hosting a local reception when you get back. We are eloping and expect no gifts nor would we think to ask for any. We have registered to get the discount though (but don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret). I’m sure your parents will still get you something but I wouldn’t risk being rude and asking.

Post # 4
7231 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

TBH I wouldn’t put it on the website at all. If someone asked I would tell them but I wouldn’t put it up on the website if I were eloping. How are people going to find out about your website?

Post # 5
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ummmm yea!  You shouldn’t ask uninvited people to get you a gift

Post # 6
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yeah, it’s fine to make a registry for yourself but not okay to disperse that information out for others to get you gifts.

Post # 7
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you are eloping people shouldn’t be buying you gifts so do not give out registry information. Will the store not find it suspicious that you register, no one buys anything from it, and then you come in to buy everything at a discount?

Post # 8
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You shouldn’t put this information out there, you’re just asking them to get you a gift for you going on vacation and getting married. If someone asks anyone if you did register, because they want to get you a gift, then they can be given the registry info via word of mouth.

Saying “don’t get us a gift but we’re registered at macys”, isn’t any better than say “I’m sorry I did that but you deserved it” or any other oxy moron.

Post # 9
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

+100 to everyone.

You shouldn’t be having a registry if you aren’t inviting guests to your wedding. 

Post # 12
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

I understand where you’re coming from if people are already asking.

I would say something like…

We are chosing to elope and in the same regard as if we were to have a wedding, there is no expectation for anyone to purchase gifts. 

Some close family members have asked us where we have registered, and as a result we have created a small registry at X. 

I don’t know if I would put that on your site… but maybe when people ask you can say it like that. 

Post # 14
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

Are you having a party when you get home? That’s what we’re doing and my mom is insisting that we register somewhere “just because”. If we weren’t having a party, then we sure as hell wouldn’t be registering. 

Post # 15
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Don’t post it on facebook. If people want to know, they will ask.

Post # 16
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@1stRosie:  Personally, I wouldn’t put registry information on the site paticularly in light of the fact that you’re eloping. If people want to know, they’ll ask or just google it.

 If you do put it on, don’t fall all over yourself declaring no one should feel obligated to get you anything – it comes across as insincere. Just put up a link to the spite as discreetly as possible.

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