(Closed) planned pregnancy and not happy

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

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Ekat :  When you say you have been in a fog for a couple of weeks, do you mean you found out you were pregnant 2 weeks ago so you’re about 6 weeks pregnant? I’m confused by what you mean by the fog and why you forgetting basic things. Agree with PP to see a therapist asap.

Post # 17
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I can relate: I was terrified when I first found out I was pregnant. Granted, we weren’t trying, but it still took me several weeks to start to feel excited.

I definitely think it’s a good idea for you to talk to a therapist. There’s got to be a reason why you’re feeling so upset and hopefully a therapist can help get to that root issue.

Post # 19
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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Ekat :  I think many women go through the same thing; I know I did. My daughter was planned and even had been excited for years to have a baby. But seeing those lines freaked me out. I kept thinking I had made a huge mistake and ruined my life. It took days, maybe even a couple weeks, for me to get back to a happy place mentally. I remember telling my husband “today I’m 50% scared and 50% happy” intermittently, because I didn’t want him to know I was 100% scared. Just give it time, and please do share your feelings with him. He could be anxious too and hiding it to be supportive

Post # 20
Member
2352 posts
Buzzing bee

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Ekat :  If you dislike kids then why agree to such a thing?

I hate kids and refuse to have any because I don’t want the burden that comes with them. Sounds like to me you were pressured into making this decision and now you are regretting it.

Do you have a friend you can talk to besides internet strangers?

 

Post # 21
Member
2536 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Our daughter was ‘planned’ but it was still a massive shock when the pregnancy test was positive and it did take several weeks/months for it to fully sink in/become excited about it. I think there is a massive part of ‘this is happening, it’s really happening’ that runs through your mind.

 

I do think you should speak to someone about this as your feelings may be a little bit more than just your run of the mill shock. 

Post # 22
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

When you first become pregnant, your hormones go out of whack.  This could be contributing to your intense emotions.  Slow down and talk to your husband about this.  You need to make this decision together.  It is a big one.

Post # 23
Member
9204 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Pregnancy hormones can cause MAJOR mood swings in the beginning (we did IVF and I love my husband and want to raise a child with him more than anything and yet I screamed and threatened to divorce him in week 7. I felt like an asshole after and apologized). Talk with your husband and a counselor and get the support you need because the next couple of weeks might be rough. 

Post # 24
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

Take it easy Bee, and don’t make any rash decisions. Let your body start to adjust to hormones, you heart start to swell with the thought of a little person, and your brain figure out the logistics. It’ll be okay. Lean on your husband, he’s your person and will support you through the adjustment. 

Post # 25
Member
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

It’s totally normal to have these feelings. That sudden profound love might not happen right as you realize you’re pregnant, it also may not happen the moment you see their little face as they come out, created by you. It might not happen until they are a formed child running around twirling with you and suddenly you realize “I am so in love with my child”. 

Post # 26
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

Why did you try to have a baby if you hate kids? Pregnancy brain is part of being pregnant. Did you not know the side effects or what a pregnancy would do to you physically, mentally, and emotionally before purposely getting pregnant? These are usually things people consider before deciding to conceive. 

Post # 28
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

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Ekat :  You need to speak with a doctor, if only to make sure that these “herbal supplements” you’re taking are safe during pregnancy–many are not.

Be kind to yourself.

Post # 29
Member
6929 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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Ekat :  I’d still recommend seeing a therapist and talking to them about everything that you’re feeling and what’s going on. I’m glad you’re feeling better today but I’ll advise you to take everything one day at a time. You JUST found out you’re pregnant so it’s going to take some time to adjust. 

Post # 30
Member
3484 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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Ekat :  depression in pregnancy is actually quite common. Especially if there is history already in that department. Go and see you GP now as it might be that you need extra support and care through your pregnancy.

Oh and do not take anything else without checking with a medical professional first. Some herbal remedies are not safe in pregnancy.

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