(Closed) Planner asking for more money

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
552 posts
Busy bee

Why does she need to be there for the rehearsal dinner? Could she just forgoe that?

Post # 3
Member
2594 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

If she’s coming to the rehersal as a guest it’s not on you to pay for her extra night. If it’s an extra night you’re asking her to work, honestly I’d pay for it. 

Post # 4
Member
9385 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

you can’t ask her to stay a third night on her dime, unfortunately.. unless you had already agreed on 3 nights and she just did the math wrong (even then id probably make the adjustment for a friend.. if it were her fault thatd be another thing)

as I see it.. your options are have her there for the rehearsal and pay for the room.. or don’t. a third option might be to Skype? it was very useful having my planner at the rehearsal but the rehearsal itself only takes 30 min! over Skype isn’t ideal.. but it’s free 

Post # 5
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

 Just an aside- It’s worth considering that having the rehearsal two days before the wedding will be a financial burden on anyone who needs to come into town and is expected to be at the rehearsal. If you have a significant number of bridal party members who are travelling in from out-of-town, it might be worth it to just keep the rehearsal on Saturday as you initially intended.

Post # 6
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

If she’s attending the rehearsal dinner as a planner, then it is a 3-day event for her and fair to ask for it to be covered. She probably doesn’t want to actually lose money for your wedding, which it sounds like she would if you didn’t cover the extra night.

Post # 7
Member
9255 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
sunshadebride :  Are the MILs hosting the rehearsal? If not, I would argue back with them about having it on Friday. Everyone going to the rehearsal is going to have the same objections as your planner. Having it 2 days before the wedding is going to be hard on everyone. So I’d push back on that. What kind of craziness are they worried about? It doesn’t make sense.

Post # 8
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
sparkosity :  Agreed. The night before may be more busy/chaotic, but it’s worth it not to inconvienience your guests.

Post # 9
Member
2610 posts
Sugar bee

I do think it’s on you technically unfortunately. It may have been the MIL’s idea to change the rehearsal date, but it’s your responsibility to see how that affects the people that you’ve employed. However, depending on your relationship with your MILs you could probably tell them about it and ask them to help chip in on it. They may not mind helping out. But unless you initially fought them on switching the rehearsal dinner but conceded because it was exclusively their wish then it’s more on your plate. 

Post # 10
Member
9380 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
sunshadebride :  I would keep the rehearsal on Saturday. If your Mother-In-Law makes a stink tell her you cannot afford to pay the added planner costs and then it’s on her to decide if she wants to offer to pay so that she gets her way. 

Post # 12
Member
7991 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I wouldn’t offer someone elses house for her (your FMIL).

I think it makes sense to pay her hotel for the additional night if you’re changing the agreed upon schedule. You have 3 options really. Pay for the hotel, dont have her at the friday rehearsal, or do the rehearsal on saturday.

Since your Future Mother-In-Law seems to be so into your wedding, why not give her those 3 options and see what she says? She might offer to pay the extra night, since it was their idea, or adjust their plans to accomodate a saturday rehearsal.

OH! What about a saturday lunch/afternoon rehearsal? I mean, its only going to take like an hour or two max, have some lunch after, and then the MILs can have their party?

Post # 13
Member
355 posts
Helper bee

Yea if you’re having to move the rehearsal because of your mom and your Future Mother-In-Law, I’d make them pony up for the extra cost that adds to the planner. 

Post # 14
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I think it’s proper to pay someone differently (more as she’s asked in this case) when you’re asking them to work more/differently than agreed upon, why not? Situation has changed. 

it doesn’t matter whose idea it is. She has to change her calendar to make it work for you.

Post # 15
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I don’t think it’s at all uncalled for that she’s expecting her lodging to be covered that extra night. But I think it’s definitely the responsibility of whoever (in this case the moms) changed the already agreed upon schedule.

I would just talk to your mom/MIL/whoever’s been moving things around, and say that due to the schedule change, planner will need accommodations for that extra night whether it’s in an extra room at someone’s home (which is awkward, I would want to do that as a guest or a planner to be honest) or at a hotel (which they would need to cover for her). 

The other option, as PPs have said, is to not have the planner there for the rehearsal. 

If it were me though I’d find the money–either yourself or through moms–and cover her room. 

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