(Closed) Planning a 2nd reception… after the RSVP deadline?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Should I have a 2nd reception in NYC?
    Yes, and invite everyone on the East Coast regardless if they came : (5 votes)
    50 %
    Yes, and invite everyone on the East Coast who couldn't make it : (0 votes)
    Yes, and invite everyone who couldn't make it regardless of where they live : (2 votes)
    20 %
    No, don't have a 2nd reception, try to fly people in : (2 votes)
    20 %
    Something else... : (1 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I would have the second reception. Money is an issue for most I’m sure, but it’s also time- some of them probably have limited time they can get off work or are saving their vacation days for something else, or maybe they have a conflicting event, in which case you buying their ticket doesn’t solve the problem. It’s also not really fair to expect people to immediately save for your wedding across the country just because they got a save the date. That’s a huge expense to take on, and a lower amount of guests is just part and parcel of having a destination wedding. Not everyone can make it, and you have to let that go. 

    I think your friends in NYC will be very happy if you have a second reception so they can celebrate with you and your friends who DO make it to the wedding will surely understand and will be happy they got to experience the ceremony as well as the in-town reception. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I don’t think it’s a problem to have a second recption if you really want it.

    But I think it’s time to take a deep breath and realize that some can’t save to come to a wedding, or use up their extra vacation time to fly cross-country. I have many many friends who only get two weeks for vacation, and really count each day and need them. Basically — don’t take it personally, you know?

    Post # 6
    Member
    1995 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I was in this situation kinda.  We had so many no’s that I thought would be yesses.  I was bummed but a lot of people were from out of town. 

    I’d say – suck it up.  I mean it’s a totally bummer than your NYC friends can’t come but they’ve probably rsvp’d no since they can’t afford it – and thus aren’t expecting to travel to/buy clothes/buy gifts for a second party that you throw yourselves.  Just b/c they’ve rsvp’d no don’t assume they’ll automatically come to a local party.  It’s just not that simple. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    The economy is just not that great lately its hard for people to afford to fly to a wedding even if they have advance notice.  A 2nd reception would be nice for those who rsvpd No but I see how the East coast guests who already RSVPd to come fly to the wedding might feel blind sighted

    Post # 9
    Member
    1995 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @MissKatelyn: I just think that if you’re specifically throwing a party for friends in NYC that couldn’t make it it’d be foolish to automatically assume all 40 could attend a local party.  Obvi I’d speak with them and see if they’d be up for that.  What about something like std’s by email/text/phone etc to gague the reaction.  I wouldn’t want for you to waste your money if 50% of the people had other plans that weekend.  Esp when you could use that money on the real reception!  extra drinks, a photobooth, more flowers, bigger honeymoon etc!

    Post # 12
    Member
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @MissKatelyn: I feel like your responses seem like you are upset. I didn’t mean to imply anything, but I was responding to this:

    “Total suckage. I have literally cried buckets because I feel like no one actually considered the Save the Date and started, you know, SAVING to come.”

    I know you are upset. I’m not saying you shouldn’t care. I’m just presenting reasons why people may not come that have nothing to do with you. Sorry if I upset you.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1995 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @MissKatelyn: well then if you feel comfortable choosing some people to fly out then you should do that.  What about searching flight deals – I know not as good as hotel blocks but I think can be done. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @MissKatelyn: I understand what you are saying. I hope you can find a good solution 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    1565 posts
    Bumble bee

    I see where you’re coming from with the 2nd reception idea, but I’m not sure I’d do it if I was in your situation. Here’s the issue: what if most of these 40 NYC/DC guests can’t make it to the local party either?

    Since you’re planning this more or less last minute (rather than sending Save-The-Date Cards six months out), a bunch of your guests might have plans for the date you choose. Or they might RSVP “No” for other reasons. Since this is technically not the wedding itself, guests might treat it a little differently. For example, if a friend invited me to a wedding, I’d make every effort to be there; I’d probably choose the wedding over a weekend trip with Darling Husband or a family get-together. However, if the invite was for a 2nd reception, I’d probably choose the trip/family get together.

    I would hate for you to go through the effort of planning a whole 2nd party just to have, say, 15-20 people RSVP yes. If a few of your local friends have said that they would definitely go if money wasn’t an issue, maybe it would make sense to fly them out to the wedding instead. 

    The topic ‘Planning a 2nd reception… after the RSVP deadline?’ is closed to new replies.

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