Post # 1
LONG STORY SHORT:
I am my friend’s Maid/Matron of Honor. There are five women in this bridal party(origionally 7). Two of us are working adults (25yrs old), the other three (2 got kicked out of it last minute due to laziness) are unemployed 20yr olds. Neither of us have ever planned a party on this level of importance.
The wedding in July 20, 2013 (3-wks) and the bridal party was origionally set for June 29th. However, with girls dropping out and no responses to any of my suggestions on where we all should host our friend’s shower and coming up with the money (one girl just got laid off, others have barely come up with money to pay for their dresses, the bride had to buy them) NOTHING was PLANNED and its June 25th.
Next week is the holiday (independance day weekend) and the week after that is a week before her wedding. I feel bad that we dropped the ball on this and may not be able to give her the traditional bridal shower with her family because its a time crunch to send invites (only a 2-wk window).
Any ideas on how we can save this or combine it with her bachelorette party and make it memorable for her?? any alternative solutions to a bridal shower or should we just apologize to her and forgo it?? i was thinking the bridal party could just take her out that morning (lunch, spa for her) and then transition right into her bachelorette party???
Post # 3
Please do not feel like a failure. You don’t have to throw a bridal shower. Your friend understands that her bridesmaids don’t have a lot of money. If she had really wanted one, she could have asked a family member to throw one for her.
The best part of a shower, in my opinion, is the chance to hange out with friends and family in a less formal setting than the wedding. You could invite some of those people to hang out the morning of the bachelorette party for drinks and snacks at someone’s house. This way, the bride still gets to spend time with people, but there’s no pressure to get an extra gift in short notice.
Post # 4
@MOHfailure: I agree with the last poster dont feel like you failed at all… you know family memebers can throw showers too it was not only you guys… so dont feel like its all to much and time crunches and that had it been top list of things having to do ….
an aunt a mother groom or brides sister of the groom or bride someone would have step in if it was something they felt they had to have … I agree that doing a informal thing earlier in the day would be perfect
you are doing great … one time i was moh (the only brides made at all) and I had a million things to plan it was so hard alone, she told me not to worry about the shower … as i kept asking about dates she wanted and she kept putting it off…
As far as i know she never cared neither did anyone else … also when i spazed about not doing one my friends mom told me what i told you, family memebers and close family friends often host showers so i shouldnt be so hard on my self … you are doing your best thats all anyone can ask
i think maybe the mixing of pampering with bachelorette is great almost all ppl need their nails done for a wedding go to a nail bar lots you can book for a group .. with her besties and close family … get ur nails done and they tend to let u bring in snacks forgo a full lunch and just have snacks served …. then you will all feel pretty and polished for when you meet up a few hours later for the partying that night 😀
Post # 5
It’s really no big deal – don’t feel like you have to throw something for her. If you want to do something special leading up to the wedding, why not get a few of her female friends (could be her bms and mom) and go out for lunch/brunch/coffee. You could do manicures together (even at-home) and open a good bottle of wine. She’s probably pretty stressed, so adding another “big event” like a shower might exacerbate things. But a simple, low-key, wear-your-jeans get-together would probably be a nice touch.
Post # 6
I’m on the other side from the other posters. Honestly, while I wouldn’t call you a failure, I would have been disappointed if I was the bride. As the Maid/Matron of Honor, you could have reached out to her mother or Future Mother-In-Law to help plan, or had something really small and lowkey that didn’t cost a lot of money. You could have planned it alone, or with a family member.
I’m sorry this situation has been less than pleasant, and I know your heart is in the right place, but I’m just being honest in my response.