- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I posted earlier in the parties section without any responses, so I thought that I’d try here.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is getting married in October. She is only having one attendant (her sister). In her family, it isn’t appropriate for family members to host showers, so it was apparent that she needed a non-family “host.” I offered to host.
There are a few obsticles, however. I live across the country, and Maid/Matron of Honor wants a couples shower with 60 or so people. I can’t realistically do this alone–physically or financially. MOH’s mom and sister will help me with food (behind the scenes, of course, per cultural issues). Maid/Matron of Honor told me (and everyone else that might help, including her future in-laws) that I am hosting the shower and that I get to make the decisions about food, decorations, invitations, etc.
The problem was the venue. MOH’s future Mother-In-Law has offered the use of her house. Yay! But there’s a catch. MOH’s future Mother-In-Law and her daughter-in-law apparently love to throw parties, and so they emailed me to suggest that we meet online to discuss ideas. They’ve already begun sending me ideas, pictures, etc. Emails are essentially them writing back and forth to each other with me CC’d, and such emails started the day after Maid/Matron of Honor told me that she set the date for the shower (about a week ago), even though Maid/Matron of Honor told them to wait for me to email them. So by discuss, I think they will tell me what we’re going to do. One has even designed invitations already.
I really want to be a good friend. Maid/Matron of Honor has gone above and beyond for me and my wedding, and I would really like to give her a great shower. With 60 guests, however, I can’t do it without help. I really don’t want to hurt feelings or isolate her future in-laws, but I don’t want to be pushed to the sidelines. They know that I’m getting married soon, so it is possible that they think they are doing me a favor by taking over, but it is also possible that they just want to do it themselves for other reasons. Maid/Matron of Honor has told me, however, that she wants me in charge. What would you recommend, and what should I expect given your recommendation?
PS: The shower is three months away.