Post # 1
I still have not figured out what I want for my May 2013 wedding. Yikes! We thought we had a venue locked down, but it just fell through. The wedding was never going to be large; 60 maximum, but we have been going back and forth as to whether it should be just immediate family and close friends or to include extended family. Anyhow, one of the ideas that came up was a small ceremony (25 people) with a dinner afterwards at a nice restaurant in our city in Ontario where our parents are based, and a party in July back in Nova Scotia where all of his extended family is based (this would be informal, backyard style) for about 50 people.
I always liked this idea, but here’s what I need advice about because I feel a little uncomfortable. We thought that we could have a party in Nova Scotia because we are already heading to the east coast for a family wedding – his cousin is getting married August 1st (a Thursday) in PEI. Is it rude to have a BBQ/casual dinner and party to celebrate our wedding the Friday or Saturday before his cousin’s wedding? I would really like honest opinions because I don’t want to step on her toes or make guests feel uncomfortable/put out in any way. We are planning to ask them if they would be okay with this, btw.
Post # 3
I like parties, so I wouldn’t mind if you planned a party a week before mine! But definately a good idea to ask!
Post # 4
I think that if they already have planned their wedding for a certain day that anything within a month (especially if you’re having it before they’re already planned wedding) is not OK. If you want to plan it after theirs then that is fine, but a week before is way too close.
Post # 5
I think doing so would come across as trying to steal the couple’s spotlight. I personally would find it very rude and tacky. You plan on hosting a second reception, which on it’s own is tacky, a few days before a cousin’s wedding. Don’t do it.
Post # 6
I was worried it would come across as ‘stealing the spotlight’ and that definitely wasn’t my intention, so it’s good to know that it would appear that way to others. Unfortunately having it after their wedding is not possible.
I don’t really understand why having a 2nd reception is tacky? Is it because you think I want 2 days worth of attention on me, me, me? Because that’s certainly not what I’m after. Originally the whole point of having the 2nd reception was so that people wouldn’t have to travel/spend lots of money; grandparents, etc. wouldn’t have been able to attend in Ontario so we’d bring the party to them. I was actually trying to be accomodating…
Post # 7
sorry to sat this but overall this couple has been planning their wedding and it very rude to take this away from them. as much as it is simply convenience for you its just not right and i dont receoment it.
Post # 8
@Blushing2013: I think that you should ask the cousin outright. As you can tell everyone has a slightly different opinoin on a matter like this, so you have to see how that particular cousin would feel.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I would have the reception either a month before or after theirs.
Post # 10
I don’t think having two receptions is tacky (unless you invite people to both, that is kind of tacky unless it’s wedding party/immediate family) but if you swoop in just before one that’s been in the works for awhile, you stand a very good chance of seriously pissing some people off.
I would think very, very hard before you decide to do this. At least have it afterward.
Post # 11
@rebwana: +1. Also, I think this is such a clear no-brainer that I wouldn’t ask the bride. She may say it’s okay when it clearly isn’t because she doesn’t want to come off as a bridezilla, but it’s clearly inappropriate for you to schedule your second reception less than a week before her wedding. I don’t have a problem with second receptions in general, but I do think that in this case it’s even more inappropriate because you’ve already had your own wedding day.
Post # 12
Please don’t do this. It will cause very hard feelings and so not worth it.
Post # 14
Thanks for the opinions. Not doing it.