Post # 1
I’ve been officially waiting since December. We discussed an engagement happening in “months not years” a couple of weeks ago but no other indicators of a timeline. We’re planning a few trips for the year and my SO knows I’m dying for a proposal abroad. However, we were planning to go to Europe (including Paris!!!!) in May and I just don’t think it’s realistic to expect a proposal that soon. I’ve gotten the hint it will be more in the later part of the year. I’m wrestling with the idea of going on this trip knowing I may not get my dream proposal. I know it’s important to just enjoy our time together but i know a part of me may be crushed since I have expectations that may not be met. Would it be silly of me to push back our trip to late summer/early fall in hopes everything will fall into place or would you go about life as usual and not worry about it?
help me relax!!
Post # 2
racr335: I would try not to control things. The proposal, while for you, really belongs to your Fiance. I’ve learned from several guy friends over the years that the proposal is kind of the one thing they get and they really want to do it their way.
If your Fiance wants to go to Europe in May, perhaps mention pushing it back and see what he says. If he resists then I would just continue with the plans as they are. He may have a vision for your proposal as well.
As far as the not ‘ruining’ your trip or proposal with expecatations that may not be met – remember that the proposal isn’t about the when and the where, it’s about someone asking you to spend the rest of your life with them. I waited a LONG time for my proposal, it was hard not to get my hopes up at times when I thought ‘it would be perfect if he’d just do it now’ and I ruined a few fun things for myself being disappointed. It’s hard, but try not to concentrate on it and focus on the now not the ‘i wonder’.
Post # 3
“Would it be silly of me to push back our trip to late summer/early fall” — Yes.
Post # 4
racr335: It would be super silly to put it off. As humans who knows how long we have on this earth, gotta live your life and not put it on hold. You may not get the proposal on this trip but the trip will make your bond stronger and think of all the cool pictures you can take together for your wedding website or announcements later 😉
My SO and I have been together 4.5 years and we go on major trips twice a year, my friends and family are always wondering “is this the trip?” and it never is haha. I didn’t even think about it until after my parents asked after our 3rd international trip, now I find it harder to live in the moment bc I’m wondering “is this it?”.
Just relax and make sure you get in everything you want to get in while you’re over there. Maybe someone else will mention proposing to him before you go and he’ll surprise you 😉 Try not to think about it too much or you’ll ruin the excitement before the trip is even here! Good luck!
Post # 5
We went on a big trip right before we got engaged. I was sure it was going to happen for the first few days. It didn’t, but I didn’t let it ruin the trip. Turns out, he did not feel comfortable bringing the ring with him considering airports, hotels, cabs, etc…lots of chances to lose the ring. I’m just saying this because you assume he will propose abroad, and while it may be romantic, there are lots of things to take into consideration. He may not be on board with the idea, so I would stop pushing your expectation of it happening on a trip. Just because getting engaged abroad is YOUR dream proposal, he may not feel the same way. So, I would just try to temper your expectations and seriously, do not postpone your trip with the expectation that he would propose in Paris if you went later in the year. how would you feel if you postponed and he still didn’t propose abroad?
Post # 6
You ladies are totally right – it’s just hard sometimes to not think about it or not get that sinking feeling if it doesn’t happen. The only reason I even feel this way is because I had expectations on our last trip to the Caribbean and it definitely bothered me and detracted from the trip – I just don’t want that to happen again!!! I know you all are right though, and it really does help just to vent out a little. I have no close girlfriends anymore so I don’t even get to complain about this sort of thing. Thanks for the support all – I will just continue life as usual and I love the sentiment that the trip will just further strengthen our relationship. So true. Hopefully I can remain patient and not get too crazy over it haha.