(Closed) Planning a trip while waiting

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
11519 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

racr335:  I would try not to control things.  The proposal, while for you, really belongs to your Fiance.  I’ve learned from several guy friends over the years that the proposal is kind of the one thing they get and they really want to do it their way.

If your Fiance wants to go to Europe in May, perhaps mention pushing it back and see what he says.  If he resists then I would just continue with the plans as they are.  He may have a vision for your proposal as well.

As far as the not ‘ruining’ your trip or proposal with expecatations that may not be met – remember that the proposal isn’t about the when and the where, it’s about someone asking you to spend the rest of your life with them.  I waited a LONG time for my proposal, it was hard not to get my hopes up at times when I thought ‘it would be perfect if he’d just do it now’ and I ruined a few fun things for myself being disappointed.  It’s hard, but try not to concentrate on it and focus on the now not the ‘i wonder’.

Post # 3
Member
8952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Would it be silly of me to push back our trip to late summer/early fall” — Yes.

Post # 4
Member
2020 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

racr335:  It would be super silly to put it off. As humans who knows how long we have on this earth, gotta live your life and not put it on hold. You may not get the proposal on this trip but the trip will make your bond stronger and think of all the cool pictures you can take together for your wedding website or announcements later 😉

My SO and I have been together 4.5 years and we go on major trips twice a year, my friends and family are always wondering “is this the trip?” and it never is haha. I didn’t even think about it until after my parents asked after our 3rd international trip, now I find it harder to live in the moment bc I’m wondering “is this it?”.

Just relax and make sure you get in everything you want to get in while you’re over there. Maybe someone else will mention proposing to him before you go and he’ll surprise you 😉 Try not to think about it too much or you’ll ruin the excitement before the trip is even here! Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
2136 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We went on a big trip right before we got engaged. I was sure it was going to happen for the first few days. It didn’t, but I didn’t let it ruin the trip. Turns out, he did not feel comfortable bringing the ring with him considering airports, hotels, cabs, etc…lots of chances to lose the ring. I’m just saying this because you assume he will propose abroad, and while it may be romantic, there are lots of things to take into consideration. He may not be on board with the idea, so I would stop pushing your expectation of it happening on a trip. Just because getting engaged abroad is YOUR dream proposal, he may not feel the same way. So, I would just try to temper your expectations and seriously, do not postpone your trip with the expectation that he would propose in Paris if you went later in the year. how would you feel if you postponed and he still didn’t propose abroad? 

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