Post # 1
My FH and I have been planning our wedding for over a year now. In december we found out we were pregnant. We are super excited about this but due to certain financial reasons we cannot afford to pay for this pregnancy out o fpocket. Therefore, in my specific case I can’t legally get married or I will lose my insurance. At this point invitations are sent and nothing can be just easily cancelled. We decided we would continue with our ceremony and exchange our vows to each other and celebrate with family, then after the baby is born file the paperwork. So technically I wouldn’t be getting “married” lol
I know you have to do what you have to do but I really don’t want to lie to my family either and I want them to take this “wedding” seriously. I don’t think a piece of paper will make me any less “married” or not. And I have ever intention of making it legal as soon as thi sbaby comes. Any ideas or opinions if this is wrong or not?
Post # 3
@jaydeybear: Do what’s right for you and your situation. We had a wedding/commitment ceremony/whatever you wanna call it in January in his country for spiritual and personal reasons. It was not legal wedding. We will get legally married in July in my country. It’s necessary and it’s what’s right for us. If other people have a problem with how you live with your life, they don’t need to participate in it on that level.
Post # 4
@jaydeybear: If it works for you guys, it’s not wrong. I’d tell the family, if I were you. I’m sure they will understand and are still going to be thrilled to share your special day. Like you said, the paperwork is just that. But why will you lose your insurance if you get married? Have you checked/double checked with your insurance company and employer? When you get married, you have the option to switch insurances (to your husband’s plan) and/or to add your spouse, but you’re not required to do so, so your insurance coverage shouldn’t be affected by your marriage.
Post # 5
I have medicaid, and according to my case worker we would make too much money to have medicaid. They keep sending me in circles with this whole thing. “well it will cover doctors visits but not your laabor” and such.
I have insurance with my employer but its virtually nothing compared to medicaid. FH has no insurance and I put him on mine.
Post # 6
@jaydeybear: Gotcha. In that case, your plan to go through with the ceremony and file the paperwork later makes perfect sense.
Post # 7
Lol thank you, all I needed was a little encouragement that I’m not completely crazy for doing this 🙂
Post # 8
I would do exactly the same if I were in your shoes:)
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
It’s totally understandable! Fyi you might get a lot of comments about “OMG, how could you LIE to your guests like that?!” But if you are making a permanent commitment to each other but can’t legally marry for a few more months, that’s your perogitave due to some crappy insurance situations. no need to tell anyone the ins and outs of your insurance situation. xoxox!
Post # 10
@jaydeybear: I don’t think it is anybody else’s business whether or not you file the paperwork straight away, don’t stress, I can’t imagine planning a wedding while being pregnant so definitely don’t stress over this small detail 😉
Good luck and big hugs xx
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017
Due to our international marriage and logistical purposes, for our first ceremony we will not be legally married yet, and it will be a casual party (though I do plan to wear my white dress!). We will then be married in the city office in Japan a couple of months later, followed by a ‘real’ ceremony a few weeks later after that!
Sometimes things happen, but it won’t make your wedding day any less real!! Think of it as celebrating your birthday early on the weekend because the real day is on a working day.. nobody cares it isn’t actually your birthday. I would tell your family and friends too in case it comes out as some sort of ‘lie’ later. It really isn’t a big deal 🙂
And congratulations on the baby, I hope you’ll be a very happy family together!!