Post # 1
So my fiance works overseas and is visiting his family in South Africa right now so I only get an email every once in a while. I am pretty much planning and paying for the wedding all by myself right now.
Today i had a breakdown and started crying because I dont know how many people to invite to get around 60 to come….and there is no one to ask!
Anyone do most of the planning by themselves. Today I just felt like cancelling the wedding and eloping. Probably doesnt help that no one lieks the dress I chose. What if my wedidng sucks.
okay, enough poor me.
Post # 3
Hi date twin! I’m sorry about your fi being overseas. Do you have family or friends to chat with? I don’t speak to my mother, but my best friend and sister-in-law are great consultants. I think every bride considers the benefits of eloping, I know I have, but when it comes down to it, we want to celebrate with our family friends.
If it helps, we invited 80 people and are expecting 60 to make it… it’s almost a dw, and we know some schedules won’t allow the travel.
Also, know that your fi cares and just wants you to have your dream wedding. Keep your head up. We all get sad sometimes, but happy times are just around the corner.
Post # 4
Aaaww… so sory you’re feeling this way. I agree that you can ivite 80-85 to get your 60. You canask The Bees an someone will respond with good ideas. Don’t worry if people don’t like your gown, they will love it when you are in it! Don’t worry we all have breakdown days.
Post # 5
Hey, I’m right there with you. My Fiance isn’t overseas, but he might as well be. He’s been so consumed with school/graduating/the bar that he hasn’t been involved in any planning at all. Then he has to move 6 hrs away from me for his new job. I am also planning solo and paying for everything.
You are not alone and your wedding will not suck. Just have faith in your decisions and it will all be worth it on the big day. =)
Post # 6
I am sorry you are feeling down. I planned 99% of our wedding by myself and hubby wasn’t overseas. Maybe if you made a list of everything that you want to bounce off of your Fiance, you could send it to him and he could answer your questions as soon as he can contact you again.
I also agree that you could invite 80-85 guests to get your 60 guest count, unless the guests you are inviting are overseas. If they are overseas, I would up the invitations to 100. We invited 50 and we had 24 guests because most of our would be guests were out of country.
And… I bet if you posted your dress on the bee, you would get a lot of compliments. I bet you look beautiful in your gown 🙂
Post # 7
You are so not alone. I have basically planned and paid for our wedding on my own. My bridesmaids are all over the country and the ones that are close are pretty worthless in terms of help. I was also working full time and in grad school full time so at times I must say I felt resentment towards my fiance and everyone around me. I wanted to get married on the beach somewhere with only two people but he wanted the wedding, so here I am. I think it is normal to want to can the whole thing and elope during most of the planning process. The best advice I can give you is to write out a timeline of when things need to be finished and what still needs to be taken care of, then check them off as they get done (helps with keeping motivated) do lots of research online when you have questions (like here) and most importantly take care of yourself. Accept that perfection is not realistic and your happiness and sanity are most important. Good Luck!
Post # 8
Thanks for the advice girls, it cheered me up which is kinda unexpected.
Also thanks for the invitation help. I was up to 76 and maybe 20 of them are oversees and 40 have to travel cross country so now I won’t feel guilty for adding a few more to the guest list. At 200 dollars a head I dont want to go overboard but we have to pay for 50 no matter what!
As for the dress it is fine. I LOVE it (when i picked it out I didnt sleep that night I was so happy) and I should have kept quiet but i asked some family and BM’s and they liked my original dress.
So I posted it on here and I should have known that there would be an overwhelming response to the first one. (which would be great but as time goes on I just dont like the first anymore) so all it did was make me doubt the second hahahah.
I think I would be better if I had support from him but he is away and my bm are cross country.
But thanks all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post # 9
Right now I’m pretty much planning a lot alone now too. My fiance is on a three week work trip outside of the country and we have no means to communicate right now. It’s really stressful, I know. We at least finally picked the venue and what not right before he left but everything else is currently on me. And I keep getting people making comments about how I need to wait for him to come back… but you know what? Before he left he told me to go plan what I needed to. We’re also in the three month stretch before the wedding so a ton needs to be done (we put off doing anything for the wedding maybe a little too long, it just seemed so stressful and it is! )
So I know what you’re going through!
Post # 10
I’m planning my wedding by myself too. My Fiance is overseas until a few months before the actual wedding. I am just crossing my fingers his tour doesn’t get extended or we are in trrrrrrouble!!
part of his proposal speech was “now you can plan away” as he knew he was posted to the Stan and that planning was going to help me stay busy
I don’t have any advice for you except maybe relish your ‘power’ and do the best you can? *shrugs*
sorry , my advice sucks
Post # 11
I am also doing all the planning and my FI isnt overseas……its a man thing to leave it all to us…plus i have paid for a lot of things too considering i cant really keep things as a surprise, then say…..’hey, i have ordered XYZ, i’m not telling you what it is but can you pay for it please?’ LOL
dont get upset, you’ve come to the right place here….we’re always here to help 🙂
oh yeah, invite approx 80 to get your 60 guests…..LOL
Post # 12
Hey you, you are NOT alone!
But that’s why there are lovely bees here to listen. We need that now and then!
Have you talked about your feelings to your fiance? Maybe he can understand. When is he coming back!
Post # 13
I am planning a good 95% ofo ur wedding by myself. Im sorry your feeling so alone all I can say is that it will get better. Im sorry about your dress. But do you love it? If you love it you will look so beautiful and confident in the dress that everyone will love it. As for how many people you should invite I think the rule is like plan for 15-20% of the invited not to be able to make it… I hope this helps. *hugs* cheer up!!!
Post # 14
I know how you feel! My Fiance is also overseas, and although he’s very involved in the whole planning process, i miss having warm bodies around to plan stuff. I’m sorry you’re not feeling very bride-like!
Post # 15
I guess I should have kept my mouth shut because now I am going overseas for work (not with my fiancee) and I am leaving everything to my mom.
I am going to try to write EVERYTHING out for her and do as much as i can before I leave so she doesn’t feel the same way.
Post # 16
oh……and I tried my dress on again yesterday to pick a veil and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is really me. And two girls were fighting over trying it on after they saw me in it, so I kinda got a boost!