(Closed) planning a wedding by myself….not feeling very bridelike today

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hi date twin! I’m sorry about your fi being overseas. Do you have family or friends to chat with? I don’t speak to my mother, but my best friend and sister-in-law are great consultants. I think every bride considers the benefits of eloping, I know I have, but when it comes down to it, we want to celebrate with our family friends.

If it helps, we invited 80 people and are expecting 60 to make it… it’s almost a dw, and we know some schedules won’t allow the travel.

Also, know that your fi cares and just wants you to have your dream wedding. Keep your head up. We all get sad sometimes, but happy times are just around the corner.

Post # 4
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Aaaww… so sory you’re feeling this way. I agree that you can ivite 80-85 to get your 60. You canask The Bees an someone will respond with good ideas. Don’t worry if people don’t like your gown, they will love it when you are in it! Don’t worry we all have breakdown days.

Post # 5
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Hey, I’m right there with you. My Fiance isn’t overseas, but he might as well be. He’s been so consumed with school/graduating/the bar that he hasn’t been involved in any planning at all. Then he has to move 6 hrs away from me for his new job. I am also planning solo and paying for everything.

You are not alone and your wedding will not suck. Just have faith in your decisions and it will all be worth it on the big day. =)

Post # 6
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am sorry you are feeling down. I planned 99% of our wedding by myself and hubby wasn’t overseas. Maybe if you made a list of everything that you want to bounce off of your Fiance, you could send it to him and he could answer your questions as soon as he can contact you again.

I also agree that you could invite 80-85 guests to get your 60 guest count, unless the guests you are inviting are overseas. If they are overseas, I would up the invitations to 100. We invited 50 and we had 24 guests because most of our would be guests were out of country.

And… I bet if you posted your dress on the bee, you would get a lot of compliments. I bet you look beautiful in your gown 🙂

Post # 7
18 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

You are so not alone. I have basically planned and paid for our wedding on my own. My bridesmaids are all over the country and the ones that are close are pretty worthless in terms of help. I was also working full time and in grad school full time so at times I must say I felt resentment towards my fiance and everyone around me. I wanted to get married on the beach somewhere with only two people but he wanted the wedding, so here I am. I think it is normal to want to can the whole thing and elope during most of the planning process. The best advice I can give you is to write out a timeline of when things need to be finished and what still needs to be taken care of, then check them off as they get done (helps with keeping motivated) do lots of research online when you have questions (like here) and most importantly take care of yourself. Accept that perfection is not realistic and your happiness and sanity are most important. Good Luck!

Post # 9
46 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

Right now I’m pretty much planning a lot alone now too. My fiance is on a three week work trip outside of the country and we have no means to communicate right now. It’s really stressful, I know. We at least finally picked the venue and what not right before he left but everything else is currently on me. And I keep getting people making comments about how I need to wait for him to come back… but you know what? Before he left he told me to go plan what I needed to. We’re also in the three month stretch before the wedding so a ton needs to be done (we put off doing anything for the wedding maybe a little too long, it just seemed so stressful and it is! )


So I know what you’re going through!

Post # 10
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I’m planning my wedding by myself too.  My Fiance is overseas until a few months before the actual wedding.  I am just crossing my fingers his tour doesn’t get extended or we are in trrrrrrouble!!

part of his proposal speech was “now you can plan away” as he knew he was posted to the Stan and that planning was going to help me stay busy

I don’t have any advice for you except maybe relish your ‘power’ and do the best you can? *shrugs*

sorry , my advice sucks

Post # 11
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am also doing all the planning and my FI  isnt overseas……its a man thing to leave it all to us…plus  i have paid for a lot of things too considering i cant really keep things as a surprise,  then say…..’hey, i have ordered  XYZ,  i’m not telling you what it is but can you pay for it please?’  LOL  

dont get upset,  you’ve come to the right place here….we’re always here to help 🙂


oh yeah,  invite approx 80 to get your 60 guests…..LOL

Post # 12
58 posts
Worker bee

Hey you, you are NOT alone!


But that’s why there are lovely bees here to listen. We need that now and then!


Have you talked about your feelings to your fiance? Maybe he can understand. When is he coming back!



Post # 13
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am planning a good 95% ofo ur wedding by myself. Im sorry your feeling so alone all I can say is that it will get better. Im sorry about your dress. But do you love it? If you love it you will look so beautiful and confident in the dress that everyone will love it. As for how many people you should invite I think the rule is like plan for 15-20% of the invited not to be able to make it… I hope this helps. *hugs* cheer up!!!

Post # 14
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I know how you feel! My Fiance is also overseas, and although he’s very involved in the whole planning process, i miss having warm bodies around to plan stuff. I’m sorry you’re not feeling very bride-like!

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