(Closed) Planning a wedding from afar …=emotional draining

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Do you not have any friends that are local that can help you with shopping and those sorts of things?  I didn’t have a lot of help planning mine, just my Mother-In-Law but she was able to help with a lot of the little things that I ndded when I was too busy to do them myself.  I hope that you can find some help and not be so stressed!

Post # 4
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Private home

Get thee to a wedding planner!!!  Find someone who knows your hometown who can help you with all the details you might feel guilty asking your mom to find out for you.  I’ve been planning a wedding in NC from Kentucky for the last six months e AND going to school full time, so my wedding planner has really saved my sanity, especially over the last few weeks when school has gone crazy.

Post # 5
Member
205 posts
Helper bee

I definitely agree with “Dragonsus”! Get a wedding planner! Allow that planner to take the stress off of you so that you can enjoy your enagagement period which is supposed to be a happy time (just like you said). If your family is not willing to help you then what can you do…you can’t wait on them because your wedding will be here in no time. I do wish you the best in planning your wedding and I hope things turn around for you soon! Happy Holidays!

Post # 6
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yes.  Get a wedding planner.  And as far as your own tasks go, just try to tick them off one at a time.  If you think about all of the things that you need to do, all at once, then it gets really overwhelming.  I know this well as another long distance planning bride.  …and don’t feel bad about asking for small favors.  Send an email to your FIs family and say “I need addresses for this list of people by the end of the week.  Thanks!”

Post # 7
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I feel you on the distance planning – it DOES stink!

I’m finding that the more organized I am (timelines, lists, deadlines) the easier it is. Plus well timed trips ‘home’… next month I’ll have 3 days to visit venues, taste test caterers and meet with a friendor DJ I know. Oh, and try on dresses with my mom. It’s going to be exhausting, but it’s the only option I have without breaking my bank on travel, or giving up control all together.

Post # 8
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I was doing well with LDP…until today.  I thought I could get my invitations in Seoul, but now there is a huge problem because nobody has heard of RSVPs here, so now I have to order my invitations online.  I never thought it would be the invitations that would be stressful! But now that I can’t see them before ordering….or at least have to send away for samples, wait for them to come back etc…now I’m stressed! 

You say that you don’t like to ask for help…but on this matter, you need to learn how to do it! If you give different people a small job, then they won’t be too burdened.  You also just need to have a lot of communication with people. 

Post # 9
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I’m only planning a wedding 3 hours from where we live, but I’ve been able to do most of it online / on the phone. If I do need something from FI’s family (like addresses, etc) I ask him to coordinate with them. Less headaches for everyone!

Post # 10
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

Awww. Pick  yourself up! I know your’re overwhelmed but you either just have to ask, or hire a fairy god mother wedding planner….. deep breaths! We’re here for you!

Post # 11
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I agree with previous sentiments about hiring a wedding planner. I’m in a similar boat…moved to Kentucky and the wedding’s in Texas. When I moved, I had my dress, but it didn’t fit at all! Since I didn’t have any friends here, I was going to go get fitted all by myself. After the first fitting, I went home crying because I really needed support. So I grabbed a girl I had just met at school and asked if she would help me with my dress fittings. It turns out, we became really close friends as a result! Maybe there are some local gals that would absolutely love to go dress shopping with you? You could put one of them in charge of sending pics from your phone to your mom, BMs, etc. and it could be a virtual gown shopping day? 

Post # 12
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you don’t ask for help, how are the local people going to know you need help????  Sure you are getting married, but unfortunately, that doesn’t always mean people are going to offer to help you out, especially if you are a person who tends not to ask for help with other things.  I really don’t like asking for help either (I shoved my Fiance inside while I shoveled the 12+ inches of snow we got in MN last week) but when you are planning a wedding from afar, you must ask for help!!!!  It makes things much easier!  Hire a wedding planner, pick a couple of people you’d want opinions from on a dress and go shop, and ask people for an address list- I’ve done it 3 or 4 times and it wasn’t that bad!   It’s ok to ask for help!  MN is a big state, but if I were close to your hometown, I’d even offer to help you out!

Post # 13
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

Simply – I was planning a MN wedding from NC (we just relocated from Raleigh to Minneapolis), and I know EXACTLY how you feel!! PM me with what you need and I will pass along ANY suggestions/help I can give!! Deep breath, everything will work out!!

Post # 14
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

I’m planning from afar and yes it’s absolutely a hard thing to do but at the same time, it’s a little freeing. Treat it as a destination wedding. Let go of some details. Hire some more help.

You can’t possibly control everything from far away, so don’t even try. Focus on a few important things to you and then let someone else deal with the nitty gritty details. Seriously!

Post # 15
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am also planning a wedding from afar.  I live in Houston and am getting married in Augusta, GA.  The way I have been handling it is making a lot of trips back, having a long engagement to have time to do things from far away, and also my mother has been a huge help.  You said your mother was busy so I agree with previous posters, try to find a wedding planner.  They could probably take a lot of the load off of you. 

Post # 16
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Another long distance planner here! I know exactly how you feel! You should DEFINTELY ask your family for help. I could not, repeat COULD NOT, be doing this without them. My Future Mother-In-Law has been AMAZING, calling local caterers, helping us scout out the best deals, becuase many of those things are hard to do when you aren’t there in person! Don’t be afraid to ask for help, ’cause unfortunately many people don’t know how difficult planning a wedding is, let along planning one when you don’t even live in that province/state.

Others have suggested a wedding planner, but if it isn’t in your budget (it wasn’t in mine) just make sure to get your family and friends to give you a hand. And make it specific. For example, you could ask someone to check out the local florists in the area and get back to you by “x” date, if possible. Having a concrete task to work on makes helping easier.

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