(Closed) Planning a wedding – is it just me?

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Nahhhh, I feel the same way. I have to motivate myself to plan and get things done when it comes to the wedding. Some people are just natural planners, and some people are gung-ho about planning their weddings, but I think others just think of it as a means to an end. I’m excited to HAVE the wedding and go on the honeymoon, but the planning part is definitely not thrilling. It’s just never on the forefront of my mind unless I make an effort so sit down and get some things out of the way.

Post # 4
2536 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I hated it. The only reason I put so much effort into it was for my then fiance. I thought he wanted the wedding in magazines and websites. Turns out, he was fine with marrying me with a couple of decorations. If only I knew before a few days before the wedding.

Post # 6
39 posts
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m the same.  I’m not miserable by any means, but I am severely limiting the amount of stuff that needs to be done.  I have also delegated out a ton because I’m not even in the States 🙂  Lucky me!  I want my wedding to be unique and a fun time for all, but I’m not doing a whole lot to that ends.  I hope to have a few nice touches here and there but there’s no “theme” or “colors.”  I’m just doing stuff I like and leaving it at that.  For example, I don’t care about flowers and I hate craft projects, so no centerpieces.  I’m thinking about MAYBE throwing some white seashells down the center of the tables to go with the decor in the uber-decorated Greek restaurant where the reception is.  Eat that Martha!

Post # 7
3575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I loved it and hated it.  One thing I had to learn to do was to delegate!  Make sure you take people up on their offer to help.  I have 15 days to go and I’m am definitely at the point where I just don’t want to do another thing for the wedding.

Post # 8
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I liked the fact that I was the one who got to design the day, but the logistics weren’t always fun. Stressing out about unresponsive vendors, having to travel to Philly twice a month to meet with people and pick things out, worrying about making the wrong decisions wore on me. Also, don’t get me started on the whole RSVP debacle. I will never understand why people think it’s OK to ignore a wedding invitation.

Post # 9
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

There’s what the wedding magazines tell us: planning a wedding means dresses! And favors! And tasting cake! And beautiful high heels! And looking like a model! And having “your day”

and then there’s the reality: planning a wedding means reading vendor’s legal contracts until you are blue in the face, dealing with a million boring logistics, shoes that pinch and the fact you aren’t built like Gisele, and really, having everyone else’s day.

So you’re not alone to feel that wedding planning kind of sucks–part of it is also there’s such a large gap between fantasy and reality.

(PS–there’s a book out, “One Perfect Day,” I think, which is more about the business of weddings and the “wedding industrial complex”. Totally NOT wedding porn, but kind of fun to read when you start to feel blah about planning and you want a big f*ck-all to weddingness.)

Post # 10
5920 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with most everything moderndaisy said.  We are just now starting to get RSVP’s back, so I haven’t had much drama with those yet.

I like the idea of getting married – I don’t necessarily like putting it all together.  When we first got engaged, I was like “pick a church and reception site, and the rest takes care of itself,” NOT – our venue is literally just room rental.  Everything else is being brought in through different vendors – tables, chairs, linens, food, alcohol, etc.

Not to mention our wedding is in the dead of winter, so weather is obviously a concern.

Post # 11
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

There’s nothing wrong with not enjoying planning!  I kind of hate it.  I am NOT type A.  I’ve always been a laid back, go with the flow type of gal, and that really doesn’t lend well to event planning.  I love hosting get togethers with friends, planning and creating snacks, etc., but when it’s on such a wide scale with so much $$, it’s not fun to me.  I want it to be pretty, but I don’t have the desire/attention span to put that much energy into planning…and unfortunately I don’t have the $$ to throw at it for somebody else to do it.  SO…I’m K.I.S.S.  We’ll be married at the end of the day and it will be A BLAST…but nobody’s going to be calling from Martha to put our wedding in her magazine…and I’m way okay with that.

Post # 12
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I feel like it’s making our relationship harder, my friendships are becoming strained, I can’t stop thinking about what else needs to be done, I’m having nightmares about it. It’s AWFUL. I can’t wait until it’s over. But I know when the day comes I will LOVE it and be so happy I invested so much energy for it. 

Post # 13
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

No you are not alone at all!! I was so excited to actually have the wedding day and the thing I looked forward to the most was the honeymoon so it could all be over!! In fact, when I came back I deleted all wedding-related emails from my Mother-In-Law because I just did not want to think about it anymore!! It is so much better being married than being engaged and planning a wedding 🙂

Post # 14
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You’re not alone – – I’m slowly warming up to it, but I’ll admit that at first I didn’t want a wedding and hated a lot of wedding-type things.

Post # 15
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Ditto. I am super excited to get married, and even excited about the ceremony, but planning a party for 100+ people is just not enjoyable to me.

I’m people pleaser, so it’s too stressful to try to figure out things that would appeal to my broad range of guests. And I don’t buy into the whole “it’s my day, it has to be perfect,” “it needs the wow factor,” etc. The whole industry is a scam.

Post # 16
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I love this post because I ran into this exact issue. I was having such a hard time planning a wedding for 200 people. I think it’s most likely because of the type of person I am. For one, I’m a people pleaser and it’s impossible to make everyone happy when planning a wedding. I’m also indecisive and a perfectionist which I quickly realized is a HORRIBLE combination when trying to plan a wedding. In the end we decided to tone down the wedding and we will be having a small 22 person affair that will still be elegant. Our parents will then put on two separate get-togethers for extended family and friends for each side of the family.

Although a small wedding still involves a lot of planning I’m finding it to be a lot easier and a lot less stressful. I’m actually enjoying the experience now!

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