Post # 1
Hey everyone!! I just had my own wedding 11-11-11. I love planning wedding and parties and everything! Anyways my dear friend we will call her B just got engaged to her gf!! I was super excited for them, and then to make it even better she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids/men… Then to make it even better she asked me to be the wedding planner!!
I am so excited!! But that is where my questions come in. I dont want to just assume that every aspect of a gay wedding is the same as a straight wedding. Obviously they both will be in on the planning, but I would like to get some bee input of dos and donts for planning a gay wedding!! Thanks in advance!!
DISCLAIMER: I am sorry if this is offensive to anyone. I just dont want to throw out ideas that they may not like because of something I dont know or understand and I figured..hey why not ask the bees!?
Post # 3
Just like with any other wedding, there is no right or wrong! It’s about whatever feels right for the couple. My Fiance and I are planning our wedding right now and we are just trying to make it as much “us” as possible. I want to incorporate some of my Mexican traditions such as the lazo and arras, I plan to wear a suit, she’s wearing a dress, we each have 3 bridesmaids all in dresses, I want mariachis for cocktail hour, she wants a string quartet for the ceremony, we want ice cream instead of a cake and the list goes on! Talk to your friends and find out what they want. Just like any other wedding it can be as traditional or untraditional as they want.
Post # 4
I would plan it as any wedding. Ask lots of questions, give your opinion, etc. Treat it as any wedding with two individuals with two individual opinions. They’ll tell you what they want just as any other client would.
Post # 5
I can’t imagine they’d be any different. My life-long best friend had a civil partnership ceremony in London 5 years ago and they had the most beautiful luncheon after the ceremony. There was a pre-ceremony champagne hour on a terrace of their building overlooking the Thames & the London Eye. Just gorgeous! The evening after the luncheon they had a fun casual party with hors d’ouvres in their flat. It was a lovely day! Certainly no different from any other wedding. Plan whatever the couple wants and is special to them. Have fun! And congrats on your own recent marriage 🙂
Post # 6
I think the biggest difference is going to be how to handle the things that are traditionally male-female roles. For example, who throws the bouquet? How are you going to announce the couple? Will they be Mrs. and Mrs. Smith? Other than that, you can certainly take as much or as little from a traditional straight wedding as you like.
Post # 7
I think the biggest differences are going to be mostly coordination-wise. Will both brides walk down the aisle? Will they walk together, or will one wait for the other? If both come down the aisle, will they both have their father walk them etc. As well as traditional bridesmaids on the ladys side and groomsmen on the mans side, who will stand on either side? As long as you ask lots of questions and find out how they envision their day, you will do fine!
Post # 8
My Fiance and I (both females) are currently planning our wedding. Early on we discussed what it was that we wanted out of the wedding, which has helped guide us through the planning process. One of the biggest things we are trying to steer clear of is the idea of traditional gender roles, as I think this is important not only for the same-sex couples, but also for those guests not too familiar with same-sex relationships. I don’t think that there are any do’s and don’ts…but before you start planning, talk to them about what they want, their expectations, and how they as a couple want to be portrayed. Good luck!
Post # 9
Thank you everyone. Great points about who walks down the aisle and when, who throws the bouquet/ both? These types of things is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you for making me more prepared for our first formal sit down!!
@lybarra: Congrats… Your ideas are so cute, I love it! Thanks for the advice!
@red_pepper_gal: Thank you! This is what my brain needed. You triggered exactlty the type of things that I need to be thinking about and I appreciate it!
@MissLibra: Awesome, Thank you! This will definately be one of the first things we talk about. The flow of their ceremony will set the mood for things, so coordinating that and getting the planning done for that aspect is so important.Thanks for the advice!
@Jper3540: Great point we want everyone to get it. Good luck with your wedding planning and congrats 🙂
Post # 10
My wedding is uber-traditional. We’re both in white frocks, walking down the aisle together to a service based on the Anglican service of blessing for straight civil married couples. Then there’s a marquee reception. So ask questions and find out what their vision is! It’s all about the couple.
Post # 11
I agree with what’s been said so far… especially about the traditional things such as walking down the aisle and the dances. My fiancee and I are still trying to sort out what we want to pull from tradition and what we want to create on our own. In a way it’s actually really exciting having the freedom to create a special day that is completely meaningful to the two of you without worrying about the ‘right’ way to do it! Just have fun with it! And I’m sure your friend will appreciate all your efforts!
Post # 12
I agree with everyone else that you should talk to the couple and see what they prefer and that most of the wedding will be no different than a “straight wedding”. You should check out 14stories.com they plan gay weddings and they have a great blog about different issues that can come up and some great ideas for the logistics of everything. Hope it helps! 🙂
Post # 13
ve been several samesex and to be honest there isnt a big difference. The only thing I can think of is deciding who goes down the aisle first.