Post # 1
Hey everyone! I’m new here, so bear with me. I want to know how common it is that a wedding is done by the justice of the peace and then later performing the actual ceremony and reception. See, we’ve been together for 4 1/2 years and are technically common law (as it’s recognized in our state but they don’t record it), and while we’d discussed getting married it was kind of put onto the back burner…. Well after a trip to the ER last Friday and finding out that I need to have almost emergency gallbladder surgery and knowing that I don’t work so I don’t have insurance, we came upon an obstacle. It’s either pay the full price for the surgery out of pocket (which, we have three boys, so we really cannot afford) or become legally married so I can get on his insurance. So, we actually just got married today by the Justice of the Peace at the courthouse with my family there (his family, for some reason, didn’t want to come to it…). Now, we’re talking about having something like a vow renewal ceremony and reception this summer for the rest of the families and our friends. Is this something that’s common or were we weird for doing it?
Post # 3
@terrystokes-kolpin2012: congrats to you! Being legally married and then planning a larger celebration is probably more common than you would think. I know of 5-6 couples who did this for moral reasons (living together), military reasons, or immigration reasons
up to you, of course, if you plan to be open about your already being married 🙂
Post # 4
To me it depends on the circumstances. When you had to be married due to health issues (as in your case) or one of you being in the military or something like that, it totally makes sense and I’d be more than happy to attend a vow renewal/reception later that year. The only time it bugs me is when people decide they want to get married RIGHT NOW for no particular reason, so they go to the courthouse, and then afterwards decide that they want a big party too where they’ll re-create a traditional wedding and have all of the traditional elements. Then I really don’t see the point, and honestly would probably decline.
I know some bees will strongly disagree with me and say it’s a couple’s own business if they want to get married right now just because they don’t want to wait, then have a big wedding later…but that’s my opinion. I think if you’re old enough to be married you’re old enough to pick whether you want a courthouse wedding now or a big traditional wedding later, and accept the consequences of your choice, whether it’s waiting a bit longer or giving up the big wedding dream. But that really doesn’t apply to you anyways, since like I said, I disregard this rule when there’s health/military/immigration issues involved, not just someone being impatient about getting married now but wanting a big wedding day later.
I also absolutely hate it when the couples lie about it and don’t tell anyone they’re already married. Again, you made your decision, own up to it. Don’t start your marriage off with a lie!
Post # 5
I got married on the 9th via Justice of the Peace.
In June, we’re having our “formal” wedding. It was the right choice for us because my husband is in the Navy and he deploys often. I have health insurance when he’s gone & we have a bit more money coming in his paycheck.
It’s not weird at all! I’ve noticed it mostly in military families, but I think it’s becoming a more popular trend these days. You’re not an oddball!
Post # 6
I also don’t think this is uncommon. Lots of couples legally marry for the same reason (health care) and then have a ceremony later. I’m sorry about your gallbladder. 🙁 Have you had it out yet?