Post # 1
My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been talking about an engagement for a while now. I’m in graduate school, finishing up my second year this spring. I’ll be working a full-time, paid internship next year. The internship will be about 3 hours away from our hometown, where Boyfriend or Best Friend will be finihshing his bachelors degree- we’ll be living out of town for 2 years total. We were lucky to be able to work it out to kill two birds with one stone. Anyway, we currently live together and have for about a year and a half, but I feel like moving away together is kind of a big step and I would like to be engaged before we move (this July). I’m traditional in the sense that I don’t want to be living with him for 3+ years, doing all the duties of a wife, but without the committment of being married. We are both ready to get married, but we don’t really have the funds. I know Boyfriend or Best Friend is capable of saving the money to purchase a ring (the ring I want is relatively cheap too) before we leave. So IF we do get engaged before the big move, I would be planning a wedding while doing my internship (which does include some class/research work) and living 3 hours from where we would be having the wedding. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any words of advice? Should we wait to get engaged so we aren’t planning while we’re so busy?
Post # 3
We were almost in a similar situtation and opted for a destination wedding to make things less complicated. I just know how I react to stress and trying to do everything that you have listed all at the same time just sounds like way more than I know I would be able to handle. I would hold off until you are at least finished with your internship and have found a job to start planning.
Post # 4
I am currently in graduate school (one more semester to go!!) and I got engaged last month. It isn’t the easiest thing to do, but we are fine! I will say, though, that we wanted a very inexpensive wedding to begin with, so that helps assuage any of my fears. And, we both wanted a long(ish) engagement (1.5 years) so that has taken off any added stress and given us time to save.
Honestly, if budget and length of engagement aren’t big issues, I think this is the perfect time for you two to get engaged. I could be biased, though 🙂
Post # 5
It sucks. My mom is taking care of the majority of the planning, which really helps.
Post # 6
Yeah I am in that exact situation, working full time and finishing graduate school while planning a wedding three hours away. It sucks, but it can get done, I have just done a lot during breaks and asked my Fiance and Mom to help a lot.
Post # 7
Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are on the same page about length of engagement.. around a year or so. And we definitely want a cheap wedding! We’re catholic, so we will either get married in his family church or my family church. My ideas for the reception range from his parents backyard with buffet style bbq, to a local christmas tree farm’s barn. We know what band we want to play at the reception, I plan on making the table settings. Really, I’m thinking we can plan the whole wedding for less than $8000. Also, we want an early fall wedding. I, too, think it’s possible, especially because I already know what kind of wedding I want.
Do you guys think I’m right to want to be engaged before we move?
Post # 8
@MichiganGirl24: Well first, I would want to get engaged before moving too if I were you. And also, I am in that situation… I am planning a wedding during grad school. I started directly after my undergraduate graduation in the summer, about to start the third of four semesters. And we are also getting married DURING grad school… spring break.
Sometimes I think I made a bad decision, as it’s been incredibly busy and definitely stressful. We are having a full-fledged wedding, though, which makes it slightly worse I guess. It’s the wedding I always wanted, and I’m not sacrificing anything because of the busyness. I know in the end it will be worth it, and I will be definitely glad I did it, but it’s definitely been a slightly rough journey! My greatest advice is get as much planning done during breaks and inbetween semesters. That will help a little bit. I mean, we could ahve waited until I graduated to get married… but we’ve been engaged since October 2nd, 2011 so it’s been quite long enough. In the end, it’s stressful, but if the timing works out with enough help and pre-planning anything is possible. Know your personal limits too! I knew ahead of time that I’m a perfectionist and it would work out and I would get it all done.
Post # 9
@MichiganGirl24: I got engaged August 31st – 10 days after I started my 2 year masters degree, and we are getting married in June! I am doing everything myself (we just moved 3000 miles away from all of our friends and family), and we are having a very laid-back, inexpensive, backyard wedding. That said, if my parents hadn’t chipped in financially and I hadn’t been able to do 99% of the planning/crafting during my winter break (now) there is no way I could have pulled it off! I did almost nothing during the semester, I had absolutely no time, and my program does not give me summer vacation so the winter break was really essential.
Post # 10
It’s difficult, I’ll give you that. What does your heart and your mind tell you? Do you KNOW that he’s really serious abotu proposing? When my fiance was starting residency and I was starting my masters, we moved in together without being engaged, but I didn’t have a doubt in my mind. H even purposely stayed local for his residency because I was here, even though he was dying to get out of the area. We’re planning a long engagement because of grad-related funding (not giving up my fellowship!) but planning early. We got engaged the DAY I found I we’d have to wait 3+ years because my PhD got funded (with the ring). The question is do you have faith that if you move, it’ll work? If so, don’t rush. You do this once. Do it when you’re happy and comfortable. Grad school gets harder as you go (thesis/dissertation, eek!). If you have trust in him and in your heart you KNOW you’ll end up together, the ring doesn’t matter. I LOVE being engaged, but the relationship between the two of you is really what matters. Don’t be afraid of a long engagement either. It’s about your love and commitment in the end. The wedding is one day.
Post # 11
I know that he’s serious about proposing and 100% committed to spending the rest of his life with me. A lot of the reason why we aren’t engaged already has to do with money. He doesn’t make bad money, but his salary certainly isn’t great either. If he were to purchase a ring he would definitely have to save for a few months. We made a trip to Myrtle Beach for his brother’s destination wedding over the summer and he was able to pay for the trip in cash ($1,400) by saving and with some help from his tax refund. Part of me is thinking that maybe this year he’ll use his refund toward a ring. Especially because when we do move, we aren’t really sure he’s going to be able to work a full-time job since he’ll be going back to school, which means we’d really have to wait until we’re both done with school and find jobs before he could propose. Or he could propose before we move and just have a long engagement. I hate not being in control!
I’m confident we’re meant to be together and so is he (we have quite the cute backstory and have been great friends for 10+ years). Also, with my program, I don’t have to do a thesis/dissertation. I just have to finish this last spring semester, then I start my internship in the fall, so it shouldn’t get much more hectic
I’m just ready to start my life with him. The thought of waiting 2 more years to get engaged and married seems so far off. Waiting probably is the most sensible thing to do, but I just don’t want to!
Post # 12
I got engaged right before I started grad school and got married a month after receiving my master’s degree. It kept me busy, but it was totally worth it! We had two+ years to plan, which actually made the process pretty stress-free for most of our engagement.
Post # 13
I got engaged last May, getting my PhD this May, and getting married in September. I think it’s totally doable if you allow yourself plenty of time and if you can afford to get yourself a wedding coordinator (negotiate the price, mine really wasn’t that much) it would be a huge help!
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I planned a wedding 4.5 hours away while finishing my dissertation and teaching. it’s all about time management.
Post # 15
I’ve been planning my wedding throuhgout grad school and working full-time. It’s a lot of work. but it’s definitely doable! Just make sure you give yourself a little more time than you think you’ll need, because something will always pop up to derail even the best laid plans!