Post # 1
So our engagement has been a bit of a rollercoaster. He proposed on Christmas morning after he had me try on the dress he just bought me…i cried, we laughed, we told our family and friends, and were so overjoyed.
But a few weeks after, I find out my dad has to start going through the process of getting tested to receive a liver, and I have to go through testing to see if I can be that living liver donor. It stretched out over 5 grueling, heartbreaking, stressful, panicked months. Then, I went through a cancer scare. Lucky for me it was a false alarm. then I find out I can’t be a liver donor (mixed emotions). But, all the stress is gone. For a few days, Fiance and I live stress free in engagement bliss.
Then we find out my brother is getting divorced because his bat sh*t crazy wife is off her rocker for good, and wants nothing to do with him, etc etc. It is a MESSY divorce, full of screaming, having people watch their kids while they battle it out over issues, police being called cause she is pounding on my parents’ door, etc. Messy.
So now, Fiance and I are left here, planning our own wedding because of all the other drama going on in the family has consumed them. And I sit here thinking: how can I plan this wedding and expect anyone (other than Fiance and I) to be excited? sigh. I want that wind back in my sails for good.
Post # 3
Life has to go on. It’s unpredictable and bad things will happen but this should make you focus on the IMPORTANT reasons you are getting married! Not worrying about the color of the stupid linens or the way the tables are arranged. Remember why you want to marry him and be thankful for what you guys have now. Your dad will be happy for you and I’m sure he wants you to go on with your life and be happy, it’s just a rough time.
Post # 4
Yeah, I am one of those brides who doesn’t really care about linens and such, and I always keep my eye on the big picture and the important aspects of getting married. Its just kinda sad that there is so much drama (I’m sure everyone has to deal with it) and I have yet to see my family get super excited for Fiance and I. Oh well, he and I are excited and that’s all that matters…it would just be nice to have others do a happy dance with us 🙂
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Not having family involved in wedding planning can be a blessing. My parents have been pretty hands off, and it’s been great- the wedding is exactly what Fiance and I want. vs. someone else’s party.
Sorry that you’re dealing with these family issues- when it comes closer to the day, people will be excited for you. (It’s almost impossible for anyone other than you and Fiance to maintain that level of interest for over a year)
Post # 6
Bat sh** crazy relatives is all I have ever known girl. I feel ya. Just dont include any of them in the wedding party. My Fiance and I decided that to keep the peace we would not have any family in the wedding party only friends. His family is normal. Mine isnt. You would have to read my embarassed family rant to understand.
Another bee gave me some good advice. Treat them like children. Make sure the ceremony isnt long, the reception is short so that they dont have alot of time to lose their attention and wreck your wedding. Another bee suggested an elopement to somewhere and have a reception after you come back.
Sandals is offering a free wedding when you purchase 6 days in one of their resorts.
Good luck and hugs
Post # 7
@TexasSpringBride: Oh man. Just read your post about your family. Drama. I have to say, your situation seems worse than mine. I have strongly considered elopment this past weekend, but I have already dropped over a thousand in deposits and things for the wedding here, and I know that would break my dad’s heart. I think I’m just going to do a simple event here–short and sweet. My photographer suggested 2 hours between the ceremony and reception for pictures/travel time to site. ummmmmmmmmm no. 2 hours for my guests to get schwasted BEFORE we even have dinner? no thanks!
As far as your family, I think the best thing you can do is prosper off of it…Write a book, then a screenplay. I would pay money to see someone burn their husband’s belongings in a funeral parkinglot. It might make the memory funny for you, instead of cringe-worthy.
Post # 8
Just think of your situation of the first of many where its you and your Fiance against the world! Most times others won’t be there for us and you have to be your own best friend…it totally sucks sometimes, but one person you should always be there to count on is you!
I’ve been going through similar drama so I know how deserted you may feel right now…you see all of these movies where people are fawning over the bride, and are so excited for you, when in reality this is usually far from the truth…just keep your head up, allow your trials to strengthen your relationship, and do something nice for yourself! go get a pedicure, hire a wedding planner…or just do a movie night w. your hubby to be and realize how lucky you are that you found someone else with the same goals in life…that loves you! <3
Post # 9
@mindyfaith: oh how sweet are you! Thank you! well said! Yeah, its always so misleading, those movies where the bride is sooo blissfully happy and everyone is clawing at the chance to help her or celebrate. haha. I think the initial hump of getting everything booked is just so stressful and exciting, and to gush over it with your FH is great, but it would be nice to share it with others, too! But, you are right, finding the perfect guy is celebration enough, and we do what we can to celebrate that as often as possible. 🙂 I think all brides need time to settle in and accept the reality that life is not like the movies—but can be just as sweet if you look at it in the right way. I hope you embrace your own words for your similar drama…sometimes being able to relate others in our situation makes it seem alright afterall …