Planning Advice

posted 11 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Congrats on your engagement!!

i know it’s different strokes for different folks, but when we first were engaged, we started out with prioritizing what 5 things were most important to us… ours were these 5:

1. church wedding vs. other location

2. size of bridal party & guest list

3. open bar

4. photography

5. DJ/music/entertainment

believe it or not, sometimes setting the date is the hardest part – especially if you are dealing with a church that books quickly – some churches require more than 6 months prior… then coordinating that date with the reception venue.  if you’re going to have both at the same place, then obviously that’s not going to be so hard right?

also – set a loose budget – it’s easy to let planning get ahead of you and before you know it, youv’e spent hundreds upon hundreds on "stuff"…  know what maximum you want to spend on certain things

keep in mind – it’s his wedding also – are there some things he absolutely has to have (cultural, etc??)

dont get too wrapped up in the deets – sometimes we want thigns to be so perfect that we lose sight of what thsi is all about – two people promising to love, respect and be with each other

have fun with it!! it’s just the day – you have a lifetime to be together!

Post # 5
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i love the idea of representing bosnia – are there any special foods from bosnia or favorite desserts he just loves??  that would be great to have those either at the Rehearsal Dinner or the reception!!

blue and green together always look cool and refreshing – and i think it will look amazing together!


Post # 7
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

here’s a little teensy bit of info:

a little tidbit from

<div class=”article_container”><h3>WEDDINGS</h3>

In 1992, when the war started in Bosnia, approximately 40 percent of the registered marriages in urban centers were between ethnically mixed Bosnians. Ceremonies reflect this mix, often including traditions from both ethnic groups involved. The bride usually wears white and is attended by bridesmaids. Men wear capes. There are many flowers, and there is much drinking and dancing. The food includes Bosnian biscuits, a coffee cake-like bread with walnuts, raisins, and chocolate.

An Islamic tradition of giving hand-woven carpets (kilims) and knotted rugs lasted for centuries. The custom of giving a personally woven dowry rug, with the couple’s initials and date of marriage, disappeared only in the 1990s.

Post # 9
23 posts
  • Wedding: May 2008

The first thing I did when I got engaged was start a scrap book.  I got some subscriptions to wedding magazines and also went though the magazines I already had (Lucky, marie claire, etc.) to find things I liked.  Make up ideas, hair styles, color schemes, shoes, jewelry, dresses, decor, stuff like that. I would definitely start thinking about the guest list and budget.  You could also start researching locations online and contact them to see about cost.  Then when he gets back choose places together to go look at in person.  6 months will fly by!  Good luck!

Post # 10
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008


*throws confetti in air*  

you could use this time to do some serious research. put together inspiration boards. start spreadsheets and collect the top 3 or 5 vendors in each wedding area. the best that you can afford or however you decide on the vendors.

 i’m planning our wedding during a long distance engagement. unfortunately we wont get to be together thru this process (nearly 900 miles seperate us), but i find that the internets have been awesome. you can shoot him pictures of stuff. send him spreadsheets comparing things, all kinds of communication can happen.

that way, when you two are together again, the actual "planning" process could be fairly short and sweet. basically all you guys would have to do is make final decisions together once he actually walks thru venues, visits vendors, taste cakes, ect.

above all, enjoy this time. GL!


Post # 12
36 posts
  • Wedding: January 2010

Congrats on your engagement!!

I would say one of the best ways to start is just looking at lots of different ideas. Weddingbee is definitely the best and then there are lots of other blogs out there with amazing ideas and pictures. I end up saving a lot of pictures on my computer as inspiration even if I may not use most of them. I’ve got a huge list of blogs that I follow and go through their archives for ideas. You could spend months going through just Weddingbee archives. 

Maybe you have an idea of what time of year it would be? This is one of the best ways to start your inspiration. It can change everything. You don’t have to commit to any color scheme but its good to notice which combinations you like and don’t like. Also think about the mood you want to create… fun, romantic, soft, etc.

And you can always start research about your dress and your overall look (hair, makeup, jewelry, etc.) You get to decide that so that’s a fun way to start.  

Post # 13
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think that the experience of most of the bees is probably that, even when the guys are pretty involved, we still do most of the legwork.  My Fiance has been involved with all major decisions, but as far as hunting down pictures of options, ordering samples, coming up with ideas, that’s all me.  So I think you can definately do lots of research, put together books of samples and photos of cakes, flowers, color schemes that you like – and he can take a look as he is able, either via internet, or you can send him good, old-fashioned letters and packages!  And of course when he gets back, he can help make decisions.  Probably the biggest one is when the wedding will be – and unless you want to wait another six to nine months after he gets back, some decisions will probably have to be made before his return.  I was really surprised, but its not uncommon to have to book a venue and photographer 9 months in advance, or even more.  You can call around to places in your area to find out how early they book up, and get some idea. 

Post # 14
596 posts
Busy bee

i would suggest dress shopping!  Wedding dresses can take up to 4-6 months to order so it would definitely help you to get a headstart on that.  Plus, this is a decision that grooms are not traditionally a part of so he shouldn’t feel offended that you didn’t include him in this part of the wedding planning process.

good luck and congrats!!  

Post # 15
28 posts
  • Wedding: July 2008

Congratulations!!  This is such an exciting time!! I know i wanted to jump in and get started right away!  I took some time to just revel in all the excitement before I started any planning.  Now that i’m deep into planning – i’m glad i took 2 weeks to just smile and be excited!

 There are SO many great resources to use.  One of my favorite – to get ideas and color palettes is

I wouldn’t go and buy a dress now -there are so many girls who change their mind – or see another one that they like better, later –  but you can start collecting pictures – the knot has like – every dress out there.  I save pictures to a wedding file – so i knew what i was looking for.  

I also checked out a lot of knot bios for inspiration – and again i saved pictures – they have come in handy when i wanted to show the florist what i was going for, etc.

There are a lot of other neat blogs out there –  – thats a good one and there are a lot of blogs on the right hand side to check out.

Congrats again!!

Post # 16
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008


 I back the recommendation of someone earlier: over the phone or what not, you should be able to work out together with your fiance your top 3-5 priorities…That way you don’t get bogged down by the details and setting those priorities can help shape the rest.  It should also allow you (in the States) to run around and begin to meet with people and gather ideas, while some of the other things can honestly wait until your Fiance gets home.  I’m sure you want to involve him in as many ways as you can, and getting to know the most important things to him will help the overall vision. More than anything, this process has illuminated for me the times this is MY wedding and OUR wedding.  Don’t do too much without him, but certainly get a sense of the things he cares about and likes best and that should give you clearer direction. 

By setting our priorities, it didn’t require a lot "lead" time to find our other vendors.  In fact, I would say we lucked out with a bunch of our vendors, simply because it didn’t matter as much who we got.  What DID matter was someone we could communicate with and ultimately trust that they "caught the vision."

 Honestly, that relationship with your vendors is the most critical aspect of wedding planning.  Trusting the ones you chose to hire to pull of the event of your dreams…

I can’t add any Bosnian knowledge, but I imagine the library would be a terrific place to just familiarize yourself with the culture.  And if you have a good relationship with his parents, you could ask them for recipes and bounce ideas off of them.  I think they’d be flattered that you want to incorporate their heritage.

Will he for sure be done in 6 months?  Is he in the military?  Do you get to talk often enough?  Does he have time or energy to think about these elements while he’s away? 

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