Planning Before Formally Engagedposted 7 days ago in Engagement
- 6 days ago
sablescorpion22 : I feel like I’m starting down that road. DEFINITELY budget concious, but I also don’t want ot seem like a bridezilla – I actually am hoping to avoid as much stress as possible by having a few options so once it happens it’s more of “do we want this photographer for X or this one for Y?”
neverbeenstungbee : You make a good point about getting antsy while waiting for it to be official. That’s a fine line to walk. I definitely won’t be paying any deposits anytime soon, especially considering his employment is still unknown right now.
bookishbee90 : That’s sweet yall went together & he was so on board with planning! I’d LOVE to hear your engagement story. I’m hoping for something simple, but it’s still fun to hear what men dream up. 🙂
annabananabee : Unemployed right now, and actively interviewing. But you do make really good points. Neither of us in independently wealthy, so his job will be a big factor. Proposal is on hold because in his words he “wants to get me a nice ring that he can be proud of” even though I’ve stressed I don’t want a pricey ring. I wouldn’t deposit anything until he has secured something.
newbee5 : Oooooh the guest list is a good idea. I’ve seen that be a huge point of contention.
knotyet : Did he not look at venues with you?
- 6 days ago
- Wedding: October 2018
gatsbygirl : Proposal is on hold because in his words he “wants to get me a nice ring that he can be proud of” even though I’ve stressed I don’t want a pricey ring.
He obviously has no clue as to how much weddings cost. How about you give him some figures and convince him to save some of that e-ring $$ for the wedding. See??? reason for early researching!!!
On an unrelated note, you’re going to go over budget. Just wanted to warn you of the inescapable reality.
- 2 days ago
We talked about general dates/timeframe and what planning would look like in a general way. But we didn’t formally look at venues until after our formal engagement. However, my husband had absolutely zero idea of how long (large) weddings can take to plan or how much they can cost. Early research would have been a very good thing!
- 15 hours ago
- Wedding: Ipswich, Suffolk, UK
We’re another couple who’ve gone quite far without the engagement being official.
We haven’t set a date, but we know approximately when we’re going to book for.
We’ve discussed guest lists.
We’ve chosen a venue – suggested by future Father-In-Law. It’s a public space so we took a walk just to see it and I fell in love, it’s beautiful. Will pay the deposit once we do make it official and have a date.
My friend is a photographer, so I’ve asked him if he’ll do ours and he’s said yes.
We’ve decided who’ll be catering (offer from a family member) and I’ve started browsing ideas for what that may include. A vegan buffet, most likely.
And I’ve already said yes to a dress! It was a second hand find I stumbled upon which just so happened to be my dream style and an almost perfect fit, so decided to go for it.
The engagement won’t be far away – we’ve had a lot going on and are planning a move very soon, so I think we’re going to get settled first. But I think it’s nice that the planning is already coming together as something we can visualise and look forward to.
- 14 hours ago
- Wedding: July 2021 - Hertfordshire, England
We booked our venue and photographer about a month before we were ‘officially’ engaged.
My ring was custom and I knew it was being made. I also knew we wanted to get married in a busy month at a popular venue. My Fiance saw that I was stressed and said ‘why don’t we just book it now?’ Although he did keep teasing me about how he might still change his mind, lol 🙄
- 14 hours ago
So, I’m not sure we ever crossed a line where we were “formally engaged”. We mutually decided we wanted to get married, and within 6 months had worked with jewelrs on custom rings (tracked down diamonds, designed rings, etc). But we picked a location and an approximate date within a week or two of deciding we wanted to get married, and we settled on a date within a month and put a deposit on the venue.
I’m of the “if you’ve agreed you are going to get married in the near future, you’re engaged” types, though.
- 9 hours ago
Thanks for all the input ladies! Super helpful! 🙂
- 6 hours ago
- Wedding: October 2020
We booked our venue first, but we had designed the ring together and it was already in production. We also talked to vendors and went to a wedding expo.
In your situation, I definitely would not put down any deposits. Your budget will depend a lot on your partner’s employment.
It is RIDIC hard to stay on budget, btw. The little things add up.
IMO, it makes sense to start touring venues now, while your bf has some extra time.