Post # 1
My boyfriend told me about 2 months ago that he has the ring. I have no clue when he plans to propose, except a vague feeling that it will be by the end of the year. I’m totally guilty of looking at pretty pictures of rings and dresses on this and other wedding related blogs, but I haven’t done any actual planning or buying of things…until today.
I’ve been eyeing this one pair of shoes online for a really long time and just KEEP thinking about how beautiful they are and how I would love to wear them on my wedding day (I’m obsessed with shoes, it’s not out of character for me to pick an outfit shoes first).
This waiting process is so confusing, full of so much doubt and ambivance that it seems ridiculous at times. I find shoes I adore, but I’m not officially engaged and because he’s doing a traditional proposal (you know, surprising me, no planning beforehand, all that crap :)), my brain says..don’t buy these shoes!
But today, I checked back in on them and noticed that there was a limited number left and only in my exact size. So I bought them and I instantly felt like I had crossed some imaginary line that I wasn’t supposed to cross, you know? We have a solid relationship and our communication is good, but I would be a little embarrased to admit to him that I got them (although he probably wouldn’t care).
Do any of you also struggle with finding a balance between wanting to be swept up in the romance and excitement of a surprise engagement and the practicality of say, buying your dream wedding shoes in advance of that proposal because they may not ever come back in stock? How silly!
Post # 3
@gangan: I don’t think you crossed an imaginary line. You know your SO has the ring, and a proposal is imminent so there’s no harm getting a headstart on shopping. Just don’t go buying the dress until the ring is on your finger! 😉
Post # 4
I don’t think you crossed a line, either.
We’re not getting “officially” engaged until Thanksgiving, and yesterday I bought some jewelry for our JOP ceremony in January.
Once I saw on “Say Yes to the Dress,” this girl bought a dress without a proposal or even without talking to her boyfriend about marriage…now that’s crossing a line, In My Humble Opinion.
Post # 5
Shoes can go with things other than a wedding dress, so I think you’re okay. Buying a dress or veil would be going a little too far.
Post # 6
I think you’re fine so far but maybe hold off on planning anything else before you become officially engaged.
Post # 7
You bought a pair of shoes 😉 What line? I see no line?
Post # 8
I think if marriage has been discussed, agreed upon, and especially if a ring’s been bought, it’s okay to do some planning.
Some people get all judgey about it, but honestly, I wish I had started planning sooner. We only had a 7-month engagement and for me, it would have been easier if I had started sooner.
I guess I’d advise just not putting down big money (dress, venue, catering, etc) until it’s official.
Post # 9
@Jabberwocky: my thoughts exactly!
I was afraid OP would say she ordered something like a shipment of centerpieces or booked a venue or something.. I really don’t think shoes are a big deal!
I totally understand the feeling though: you’re so excited about something that you want to get the ball rolling already, but you’re scared of jinxing it if you get going before it’s time.. Not sure if that made any sense, but yes, I totally fight myself on stuff like that too.
Post # 10
Thanks you all!! Nope, no plans to get a dress or anything else for the wedding until we’re engaged, but I will definitely keep peeking at things online. 🙂
@Torrid – I definitely saw that episode of Say Yes to the Dress!
Post # 11
Haven’t you ever heard the phrase, “If the shoe fits, buy it in every color”? You’re just living by the rule. 🙂 I think most women are guilty of doing a liiiiitle something before we start planning. I say you’re clear.
Post # 12
Don’t feel guilty, you know you will be engaged soon. Nothing wrong with buying the shoes if they’re perfect or browsing online for ideas!
Post # 13
@gangan: You voiced my feelings exactly at how waiting is filled with confusion, ambivalence, and can be ridiculous at times. Still, at this point, you know its coming – I’m guilting of a small bit of planning myself. And hey, one item off the planning list! 🙂
Post # 14
I don’t think you crossed a line. I agree with PP…the gown shouls wait, but smaller items are fair game…especially if there’s limited supply or a sale. 🙂 I haven’t purchased anything while waiting, but I’ve already picked a color and have my photographer and DJ chosen (worked with them at other events).
Post # 15
If you’re a shoe person, I would get them! Especially since you know there is a ring and proposal coming soon. 🙂