(Closed) Planning before proposal?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
3706 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I planned on Pinterest and pretty much had colors and decor picked out before we were engaged. We also knew where we wanted to go on our honeymoon. We didn’t actually book anything until we were actually engaged though. 

Post # 3
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’ve had 3 friends that started planning their weddings (booking the venue and booking vendors) before their significant other had technically proposed and given them the ring. Although, they had obviously had discussions with them and their bfs were involved in the planning/ booking of these details with them.

 

Not really my cup of tea to start planning before proposal but I can certainly understand it from a practical point of view.

Post # 4
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I’m currently in the same situation. I have been looking into my engagement ring and wedding bands even though the quiestion has not been asked. I think its completely normal, and it seems like in your situation its only a matter of time. Why not be prepared ? I think that will take a load of stress away when the quiestion is finally asked. Best of luck, wishing you a life full of happiness and love !

Post # 5
Member
3076 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
darkwater67 :  Me! My unofficial Fiance and I have been planning since February 2016 for our October 2017 wedding and there has been no official proposal yet. Nobody in our families except for our parents know, and we already have everything booked with no “real” engagement yet. This was the best decision for us because we’re very private people and there has been lots of family drama that we would love to avoid. But, funny story: I did tell my boyfriend I couldn’t call him my Fiance since there was no official proposal and I’m not wearing a ring yet. He immediately dropped down on one knee in our apartment sans ring, and asked me to marry him. I said yes (of course) and he said and I quote, “Good, now never call me your boyfriend again.” So cute!

I personally think that an engagement is just an agreement between two people to get married. As long as two adults are committed to getting married, why not begin the planning process? With that being said, I definitely would not announce my engagement until it was made official. Happy planning, xoxo!

Post # 7
Member
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

I booked our venue before a proposal (we’re divorced now). It was June and I booked a place for November! Lol! He proposed in early July

Post # 8
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

I’ve been wondering the same thing. We are planning for a late summer 2018 wedding but I don’t think SO will propose until this Fall, which makes it a little tough to plan for pre-wedding events or traditions, or even engagement photos if we want to do them when it’s not cloudy and gross November weather lol. Problem is he doesn’t really think long term like me – he’s more of a “I’m not ready till I’m ready” type. 

So, to answer your question: I think it depends how involved he wants to or plans to be in wedding planning. I personally wouldn’t look at venues or do anything concrete which requires money but I may plan things in my head like when or how to have an engagement party, preliminary guest list, rough timelines, getting myself familiar with my options and figuring out what I/we may want or what might work/not work, etc.

Post # 9
Member
1356 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’ve pinterest boards but nothing more until he actually asks. I know what I’d like though. 

Post # 11
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

View original reply
darkwater67 :  We try to discuss it but it’s pretty vague at this point (what do you like in weddings, what do you not like? etc.). We did decide on a general time of year though. It starts to bug him if I talk about it too much though.

Post # 12
Member
1422 posts
Bumble bee

Like you, our relationship just graduated into what it is. No official ‘will you be my gf’ lol. We decided long ago we wanted to do a destination wedding. About a year before we got engaged, we were proactively planning. We even planned a trip to check out resorts as wedding venues, and he actually proposed the night before we went to Mexico (I was expecting in during the trip). 

Post # 13
Member
36 posts
Newbee

This is something I relate to on such a deep level. My BF and I have picked where we plan to elope to and then making it an adventure and just cruising the coastline as our mini honeymoon. We even have part of our vows picked out because we decided we really want to include old celtic vows in our ceremony. I have even been sending him photographers websites from the area so we can try and figure out what style we want for photos and yet I waot for the actual proposal. Although I think it will be near the end of summer. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I would not, there really is no need. You don’t know when the proposal will happen and there’s no need to start planning something when you really don’t know. It could be years off, finances could change- life happens.

Not to mention your tastes change, mine did in less than a year of engagement. Wedding planning has enough stress to it, wait til you’re engaged. 

Post # 15
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

It is helpful to start planning early, especially if you are on a budget and want a quick turn around from engagement. My BF and I have talked a little about the wedding, but we are not engaged yet. We both want to have it on an budget and there will likely be a quick turnaround (~6 months) between engagment and the wedding. I already have the sites picked out that are perfect and within our small budget, I will let him know as soon as I get the ring 😉 He hates planning stuff, so I want to help take as much of the administrative burden off of him as I can. 

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